tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post1246044467688338255..comments2023-11-29T00:50:04.094-08:00Comments on Mine to Command: It was just her time... jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-6518255447618444072013-08-05T19:01:26.317-07:002013-08-05T19:01:26.317-07:00Well, we stopped using birth control about 14 year...Well, we stopped using birth control about 14 years ago. We spent 3 years really actively ttc, with charting/temping and everything. Then we just let it go and left it up to chance. If it was a matter of "just relaxing" you'd think in all those years, which included several vacations, that our time would have come. Nope. It took some extra help from an RE and a few eggs donated from my sister for it to happen. Amberhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16507432917936364757noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-27737967222910620812013-07-25T02:37:49.515-07:002013-07-25T02:37:49.515-07:00I once read a scientific article that after extens...I once read a scientific article that after extensive research concluced that stress does not cause infertility, however going through infertility is a huge cause of stress. <br /><br />It irritates me so much when someone says something on the lines of : "it's all on your mind" or "go on a holiday"... <br /><br />These are biological / physiological problems we are dealing with, regardless of the fact that science does not know everything at this point, that so much remains mysterious and miraulous. <br /><br />I do believe that having a positive attitude helps, if anything, to preserve our sanity and to keep us going through this. Sometimes we have to laugh about it. Sometimes it'll be morbid humour. And sometimes it's just making the choice everyday of continuing to walk and hope. (Or to decide you had enough, also valid). But no one should judge or tell or imply that this is somehow the couple's fault, or karma...<br />Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02424374017675047414noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-66105041388150357692013-07-19T18:33:46.690-07:002013-07-19T18:33:46.690-07:00By the way, I also love "rainbow baby." ...By the way, I also love "rainbow baby." Love.Evehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15260723824329854148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-29418383711926425632013-07-19T18:30:36.533-07:002013-07-19T18:30:36.533-07:00I really appreciate your balanced and thoughtful p...I really appreciate your balanced and thoughtful post with both medical information and your personal perspective. This reflection was helpful. Even the docs don't have the answers. All any of us can do is try.Evehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15260723824329854148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-36959117199966919652013-07-18T22:30:41.589-07:002013-07-18T22:30:41.589-07:00I really hope that stress doesn't affect one&#...I really hope that stress doesn't affect one's ability to conceive. I am trying so hard to avoid stress, but with my personality, it's not easy.<br /><br />BTW, I was thinking about you earlier tonight. We're going on vacation in a week and one of the activities we had the option to sign up for was tennis aerobics!!!Shelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08309531781457230910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-84412407619985502252013-07-18T05:00:53.929-07:002013-07-18T05:00:53.929-07:00I have heard so many of those anecdotal stories ov...I have heard so many of those anecdotal stories over the last couple years. I know people are just trying to help, but it never made me feel any better.<br />I also feel like my success was just "my time". So many things were similar to my failed cycles. Why did this one finally work? I did everything I could to help this cycle work, but in the end I think I just got lucky and the stars aligned and it worked.JenShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00056681492831041470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-4650563016181220652013-07-16T18:03:29.819-07:002013-07-16T18:03:29.819-07:00I like your point about not hearing anecdotes abou...I like your point about not hearing anecdotes about the couples who give up trying to conceive and go on to...not conceive. You never hear about them. I'm sure they're out there. They've gone on to live fulfilling child-free lives. Let's hear about that for a change.Aramishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12275274008426941898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-84138410885148884092013-07-16T14:29:05.667-07:002013-07-16T14:29:05.667-07:00Thanks so much for posting this with references (I...Thanks so much for posting this with references (I can't imagine the world of medicine without up-to-date)!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-80315421245470775012013-07-16T14:24:44.667-07:002013-07-16T14:24:44.667-07:00Hmm. I just wrote a novel of a comment...and then ...Hmm. I just wrote a novel of a comment...and then realized that maybe I should write a post about this on my own blog, instead of getting on my soapbox in your turf! Thanks for your post, and for lighting a fire. ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-69643042834812279762013-07-16T12:24:21.915-07:002013-07-16T12:24:21.915-07:00Or, data is not the plural of anecdote.Or, data is not the plural of anecdote.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-18940858089874318692013-07-16T11:21:29.497-07:002013-07-16T11:21:29.497-07:00Are you familiar with Alice Domar's work? (htt...Are you familiar with Alice Domar's work? (http://www.domarcenter.com/)<br /><br />Here are a couple of articles that are worth looking at too. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21496800<br />http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18930223<br /><br />Though I completely agree with you about the "just relax" argument for resolving infertility, one of the things that is being looked into more and more is the impacts of anxiety/depression on treatment outcome. The more I read, the more I get the sense that the mind/body connection is just one aspect of the puzzle. Still, I don't think discounting the importance of seeking help while living with infertility/loss should be practiced as any life trauma usually requires intervention.<br /><br />I think ultimately all of this comes down to people trying to give simple explanations for a complex problem. Similar to linking brain cancer to cell phone use. The reality is that there's usually a number of factors to consider along the way (environment, genetic predisposition, physiological, etc), but as humans we are drawn towards simplicity.Cristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04317873211902543387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-25949441075289802552013-07-16T07:30:46.130-07:002013-07-16T07:30:46.130-07:00GAHHH the old "stress is causing your inferti...GAHHH the old "stress is causing your infertility" drama. I've stopped arguing with people who say that to me now. It seems like everyone I know believes this myth to some extent and I was spending far too much energy trying to dispel it. <br /><br />I told my Mom "if stress is my problem, then why do women get pregnant during times of war or as a result of rape?!"<br /> and she said something along the lines of "I don't have all the answers, but a girl from work adopted and the next thing you know she was pregnant!" In the end, anecdotal evidence is far more compelling than scientific evidence. Now I just pretend that I agree with their line of reasoning because it's easier.Gypsy Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13026496787029080243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-49922126627810687222013-07-16T06:31:43.974-07:002013-07-16T06:31:43.974-07:00Aw, I feel so honored that you quoted me :) I love...Aw, I feel so honored that you quoted me :) I love how you methodically challenged this myth with evidence to substantiate your claims--it's the scientist in you! And I think it's awesome how you pointed out all the statistical flaws and logical gaps in the article that suggested stress does contribute to infertility. <br /><br />I think people suggest we should "stop trying" or the all-time favorite, "just relax" (cue collective infertile groan) because it's the easy thing to say. Also, humans have a tendency to repeat anecdotal advice just like we have a tendency to use cliches and follow trends. We're impulsive creatures of habit, and unfortunately that leads to most people not thinking critically.<br /><br />Infertility makes fertiles, and even former infertiles who have successfully given birth, very uncomfortable. "Stress" becomes an easy, catch-all scapegoat in awkward situations. They don't want to say they lucked out biologically while we got the shitty end of the stick--we're just stressed! Yeah, we're stressed all right. But it's infertility that's causing our stress, not the other way around.Anniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01507531522613335860noreply@blogger.com