tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post5178673687090014585..comments2023-11-29T00:50:04.094-08:00Comments on Mine to Command: Elite Level Status jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-52803546092878912722014-09-06T22:10:32.501-07:002014-09-06T22:10:32.501-07:00I'm sorry it failed too :( I feel like I'...I'm sorry it failed too :( I feel like I'm fairly elite with 13 failed IUIs and our 3 Ivfs with the horrific stillborn of the twins. I admire you for just transferring 1. I got greedy after 2 failed IVF and transferred 3 and lost them all. I always wonder if I would have kept them if I could have had the patience to do 1 at a time. I hear sadness in your words but strength as well <3 love to you.<br />Hollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16521069845002030377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-9274002183923333012014-09-06T07:51:08.528-07:002014-09-06T07:51:08.528-07:00Oh Jane. I'm so sorry your FET failed. I wish ...Oh Jane. I'm so sorry your FET failed. I wish I had the answers or something to suggest. New RE maybe? I just hope that you're able to become a mom but I'm glad you're reached the place that you'll be happy no matter what. It takes an Elite member to get there, for sure. Hugs! Jessah @ Dreaming of Dimpleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02945119397487785737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-22765809154151557272014-09-05T18:40:55.330-07:002014-09-05T18:40:55.330-07:00As an "elite" member who finally had suc...As an "elite" member who finally had success on IVF #4/DE IVF #3 it's easy for me to say "just keep trying!" But I know that's not right and practical for everyone. I am glad you are feeling like there will be a good and happy life regardless of the outcome of future treatment. I think that is true and important for your sanityAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01164878358503729479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-72360617914442616942014-09-05T13:45:31.642-07:002014-09-05T13:45:31.642-07:00Elite status is a good term, but I'm so sorry ...Elite status is a good term, but I'm so sorry you are finding yourself as part of this club. Like the loss club, it's not one anybody ever wanted to join. It must feel like insanity, but, as others have shown again and again, it can still work. Perhaps it is more frustrating for you as a medical professional that none of this seems to make sense? I know that I found it incredibly frustrating that, when my cervix was short and then my water broke with the twins, that there was no evidence-based treatment that had actually been shown to work for twins, and hence very little was done - I would have wanted to throw everything and the kitchen sink at it, for at least a chance, even though I could rationally understand that the lack of evidence was a substantial problem, especially as my own body would be involved in all of this, too. <br />Thinking of you and hoping that one of the remaining embryos makes it through - if it has to defy logic along the way, so it be.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-23226431037440977432014-09-05T13:21:19.210-07:002014-09-05T13:21:19.210-07:00Oh man, I hate this so much. SO much. I feel as ...Oh man, I hate this so much. SO much. I feel as though I were a member of that crappy elite team and I'm honestly still shocked that I'm not right there with you anymore. Please know that I know how you're feeling. I wish I had answers or advice for you. I wish I could tell you what to do to make it work. My heart aches alongside yours. I will say, though, that if you're not ready to give up- don't! Keep fighting and know you have lots of women praying for you and your miracle baby! XOAubrey https://www.blogger.com/profile/10268033706598268682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-11609482913308780562014-09-05T12:47:04.267-07:002014-09-05T12:47:04.267-07:00When you said it feels like you're meeting the...When you said it feels like you're meeting the definition of insanity...I so get that feeling. All anyone going through this can do is minimize as many variables for failure as possible and continue to try. It's maddening to hear that it only takes one good embryo with the perfect conditions in the uterus, and it will work eventually, but in the end it's true so many times. Sometimes it happens just as you're about to give up too...at least that was the case with us. Last embryo standing, and of the "poorest quality" of them all. As much data as we try to look at and use to plan, sometimes it's one of those things where it just FINALLY clicks out of the blue.Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07415140299306373048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-65497137884950184622014-09-04T21:58:13.025-07:002014-09-04T21:58:13.025-07:00Being that I also feel I am in that elite status, ...Being that I also feel I am in that elite status, all I can think of is this is not something I want to claim- no one would. I am sorry for all you have had to go through to have your baby. I hope you find what will get you your sweet baby. I do not have the answers... However, my thoughts in reading this- maybe transferring 2 embryos would be okay? We just transferred two tested embryos in our gestational carrier and she is pregnant with one. She has had four of her own babies prior to this. It made me think gosh if two don't implant in this woman who is good at having babies, what hope is there for me? <br />Anyways just some thoughts- I don't know if they will be helpful or not. Wishing you all the best and hoping you are pregnant soon. Figuring out how to get to that point is such a battle! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02776159795284248871noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-79798526810171932862014-09-04T19:11:34.024-07:002014-09-04T19:11:34.024-07:00Ooo I guess I am at elite status as well! I love ...Ooo I guess I am at elite status as well! I love your attitude at the end of this post. I think that comes the further up the elite status you go. I used to be so frantic to have a baby and now I feel like I am just taking it as it comes and though I hope it happens, if it doesn't, I feel like I can handle that a lot more now. Continuing to root for you!Risahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01134469272401945848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-50217477828337982662014-09-04T13:11:12.015-07:002014-09-04T13:11:12.015-07:00Unfortunately, being promoted from the amateur to ...Unfortunately, being promoted from the amateur to the elite bracket delivers no fanfare nor sneaker endorsement deals. I'd like to lie and say that there's some sage wisdom conferred upon you by the universe just for having survived for so long, but all you get is an otherwise useless knowledge of stimulation protocols. Furthermore, the one thing that has decreased is your tolerance for the amateurs that will probably achieve a successful pregnancy long before you and will ceremoniously proclaim how "they deserve this for having been through so much." Keep fighting the good fight. There is absolutely no evidence to suggest the need for donor gametes nor a gestational carrier. It appears that your body just doesn't like FETs. It necessitates reviewing alternative prep protocols. I know you hate Estrace, but maybe you should consider it. Maybe a natural FET isn't precise enough in timing and your uterus is finicky. You and your RE just need to figure what's the missing puzzle piece there. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06326763572650750036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-45941325220981301972014-09-04T11:53:33.370-07:002014-09-04T11:53:33.370-07:00Hi Jane - I found your blog through Amanda. I jus...Hi Jane - I found your blog through Amanda. I just finished a cycle where we transferred a grade 1 genetically tested "normal" embryo which resulted in a chemical prenancy. This was my 3rd fresh IVF cycle and my 4th transfer. We have transferred a total of 6 embryos now and still no baby. I'm also sturggling with our next steps as we have 2 frozen blasts that also tested normal but I'm also afraid of wasting them in my utertus if that could be the problem. I just wanted to reach out to you and let you know as a fellow member of the Elite group you are not alone. Thinking of you.....The Run Away Storkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00971471535179009005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-61369900505703388832014-09-03T17:10:55.614-07:002014-09-03T17:10:55.614-07:00I'm sorry you are at this place. I am sorry yo...I'm sorry you are at this place. I am sorry you have reached Elite Status.<br />I think that since you really don't want twins, you shouldn't transfer two. No matter what your RE says. Sure, it might increase your odds, but what if your uterus is feeling generous and decides to keep both? I put in 3 embryos thinking I was too infertile for anything to implant and look what I got. <br />I also sort of feel like Einstein's definition of insanity can't be applied to infertility. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to whether a cycle will succeed or not. Why did this crappy 3-day embryo implant but this beautiful genetically perfect blastocyst didn't? I always felt like I was doing the same things (part of what bothered me about my doctor. Same meds, same everything. I wanted him to totally change it up) but each cycle was still so different. It's what's so infuriating about infertility. Well, part of what's so infuriating.<br />I'm not giving up on you. I'm glad you are feeling like you will be ok if this doesn't work out, but I'm hoping you don't have to.JenShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00056681492831041470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-64505998631308618672014-09-03T17:06:21.773-07:002014-09-03T17:06:21.773-07:00I remember three years ago, when I had just been d...I remember three years ago, when I had just been diagnosed with DOR and a pathetically low AMH. My RE still gave us a 40 - 45% chance of success. I started reading infertility blogs and looking at the timelines and thinking "I don't know how these women do it. I can't be one of them. I can't go through all that." I think a lot of us have ended up surprised at how much strength we have in us to keep going beyond what we thought we could.<br /><br />I wish I knew the answer as to why you guys haven't succeeded yet. My gut is telling me that it's just bad luck, and not any major issue with you guys or your uterus, but of course I have nothing to back that up. You're such a vibrant, amazing person that I know even if things don't work out with your embryos, you'll turn it to your advantage. At the very least, you'll be rich with a hot body. ;) But like Amber said, I'm truly hoping that's not how it ends.Aramishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12275274008426941898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-36198580541378783152014-09-03T13:19:56.095-07:002014-09-03T13:19:56.095-07:00I can relate to this part so well that I could'...I can relate to this part so well that I could've written it in one of my posts. <br /><br />"After miscarrying my spontaneous conception, I felt encouraged about my chances with assisted reproduction. When IUIs didn't work, I could fall back on the IVF option. As my second cycle was so much more improved, it seemed reasonable to expect that it might actually work."<br /><br />I share your frustration and your grief, not because you've given up on having a baby, but the grief that follows you down an unexpected path. <br /><br />Also, I don't think you should feel guilty about not wanting twins or not wanting to transfer 2. You have such little control over this process. You should be able to voice your preferences and concerns when you can!Evehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15260723824329854148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-13981335807307822772014-09-03T12:47:38.757-07:002014-09-03T12:47:38.757-07:00I was in your shoes about 2 yrs ago. With a diagno...I was in your shoes about 2 yrs ago. With a diagnosis of unexplained infertility and zero explanation for why IVF was failing (implantation issues was the only thing the REs could agree on), it truly felt like I was spinning my wheels for no good reason. <br /><br />Looking back, I still can't give you a solid explanation for why our final cycle worked. After all, the testing we did (RPL panel and karyotyping) was not indicated and being prescribed Lovenox was considered unnecessary as I didn't fit the clinical definitions (and still don't). Frankly, I don't know if it was simply a matter of switching to PIO (my progesterone levels were always low, even with supplementation). Hence I won't even dare to recommend doing any of what I did.<br /><br />But I will pass on the same advice I got from others when I hit the crossroads: spend some time exploring your options. I did a LOT of reading about resolving not to parent after infertility (both through blogs and books), really began researching adoption and decided on a second opinion from another RE. In addition, I took a long break from treatments, which was by far one of the best decisions I've ever made. Ultimately, through exploring, my husband and I came up with a plan for moving forward that was fueled by some much needed rest and clarity. And we knew that regardless of the outcome we would be okay and life would still be wonderful because we were choosing to make it so.<br /><br />I'm sorry that this last transfer failed. And how I wish you had an explanation. I wish you luck with your journey ahead and hope that you find peace soon.Cristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04317873211902543387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-39444067945536218222014-09-03T09:29:01.546-07:002014-09-03T09:29:01.546-07:00I am here with you at Elite status and I have that...I am here with you at Elite status and I have that those thought all the time. I usually waver between 'how did I get here?' and 'when did this become my life?'. There should be some sort of free vacation or wine club that comes with the Elite status, in my opinion. Ugh, it just all sucks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-26870873756423816442014-09-03T08:54:49.605-07:002014-09-03T08:54:49.605-07:00While I'm happy you feel like you will be able...While I'm happy you feel like you will be able to move on and live a happy life without kids should it come to that, I am still hoping with every fiber of my being that it doesn't come to that. Amberhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16507432917936364757noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-64417578206245884472014-09-03T08:31:52.422-07:002014-09-03T08:31:52.422-07:00A fabulous life awaits no matter what happens. I&#...A fabulous life awaits no matter what happens. I'm sorry that you have made it to Elite status. I wish your doctor had more answers for you too.Non Sequitur Chicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07268138421234170972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-31871742396078583042014-09-03T07:52:06.672-07:002014-09-03T07:52:06.672-07:00Sometimes I feel like I've slept-walked throug...Sometimes I feel like I've slept-walked through the silver and gold (OK, we got to skip silver level--no IUIs for us) and here I stand in elite, looking around and wondering WTF? I'm here? This is my reality? I'm picking out my children's genetics from what are essentially sound bites? How does this happen?<br /><br />I was just thinking the other day, this is the end of the road for us, and that's a scary place to be. I can't yet wrap my brain around the option of a child-free life.<br /><br />I'm getting pretty adamant about my desire not to carry twins, although B kind of wants twins. I'm going to have to show him some data as the anecdotal reports from the blogosphere isn't really swaying him. I'm just not sure I want to take those risks--at the expense of my children--just to complete our family in one go. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-56312633114847096362014-09-03T07:34:46.473-07:002014-09-03T07:34:46.473-07:00I doubt anyone would consider me an elite member.....I doubt anyone would consider me an elite member... my resume only includes four IUIs, one IVF cycle, and one FET. However, in light of the fact that I started this nonsense at 26 years old and was given crazy good odds (like 70% I would not even need IVF) I feel like an elite member. I can understand exactly what your feeling... I think the office talks about me too, "the young girl, that defies all odds and just WONT GET PREGNANT." Such a legacy. <br /><br />I'm so sorry that the transfer failed, Jane. It just doesn't make sense. I have to admit though, that I am comforted somewhat by the fact that even with all of your knowledge, you are frustrated by this mess as well. Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11657607481465480125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-1203068620790089632014-09-03T06:57:09.857-07:002014-09-03T06:57:09.857-07:00I've never thought of it as elite - I like tha...I've never thought of it as elite - I like that word much better than the word I use when describing our infertility (which is chronic). <br /><br />This summer was the first one that I've ever felt a little bit of peace sneak in, thinking that, "yes, I will be okay if I don't have kids". It's difficult, and I never understood it when people stopped their fertility treatments without the baby they so wanted, but now I get it. <br /><br />The one or two decision is a hard one. I'm 35 (soon) and my CCRM doc surprised me when he recommended transferring two CCS normal embryos. It's a tough choice with no right or wrong answer. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09557861103469077524noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-75690358031317299832014-09-03T06:50:22.221-07:002014-09-03T06:50:22.221-07:00While I don't have the list to put me in the e...While I don't have the list to put me in the elite level I do have the feeling that IVF may not work for us either therefore putting us in the category that we may not have a baby at all. So I feel in the elite level in the "thought" at the moment. This stinks all that you have been through!Amiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04738442092989090297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-17405703941099731442014-09-02T22:46:11.924-07:002014-09-02T22:46:11.924-07:00Additional IVF Pro-tip: Goo-Gone is better than is...Additional IVF Pro-tip: Goo-Gone is better than isopropyl alcohol or nail polish removal at cleaning the residue from patches off your skin. Bonus! It's citrus scented! jAllenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com