tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post7612014576066191285..comments2023-11-29T00:50:04.094-08:00Comments on Mine to Command: Mum, Dad... We're Infertile... jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-35088707305762282792014-05-08T15:30:00.520-07:002014-05-08T15:30:00.520-07:00I can empathize. I still haven't told my mom ...I can empathize. I still haven't told my mom about the miscarriage and two IVF cycles. I did confess to "needing help...and then some" when she asked if this was a planned pregnancy, but cut the conversation off there. I still wonder if and when I will share with her what it took to get to where we are....<br /><br />I hope your grandmother is still doing well!Shelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08309531781457230910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-88268150476791829092014-04-16T07:05:28.896-07:002014-04-16T07:05:28.896-07:00It's IM PIO QOD and Progesterone PV TID. Even ...It's IM PIO QOD and Progesterone PV TID. Even in a hypothetical conversation I didn't want to explain to my Dad that I've been stuffing pills up my vag... jAllenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-5895265444972475202014-04-15T19:38:44.889-07:002014-04-15T19:38:44.889-07:00I'm glad your Grandmother is improving as well...I'm glad your Grandmother is improving as well and came through the surgery okay. I also wonder why the progesterone every other day instead of every day? As for telling your parents, I think your silent answers here are perfect. Absolutely perfect. I wish you the best of luck when the time finally does come and you decide to reveal your secret. Who knows? Maybe this FET will be the one that sticks around and you can make your announcement as you had originally planned?Amberhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16507432917936364757noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-57523572658988991982014-04-15T15:01:07.758-07:002014-04-15T15:01:07.758-07:00I didn't want to tell my mom. I only told her ...I didn't want to tell my mom. I only told her because if she found out later, she would be insulted that I didn't confide in her and get mad at me. My instincts were right. She had no idea how to be supportive and couldn't do much more than feel sorry for me. She didn't even bother to google the basics of IVF until my 3rd cycle when I got tired of answering her stupid questions. So, yeah. On the other hand, some other people were incredibly supportive. I sometimes wish I had been more open while we were going through it. You'll know when it's the right time to tell them. JenShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00056681492831041470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-822087325477218952014-04-15T13:42:48.868-07:002014-04-15T13:42:48.868-07:00The end of your post brought me to tears! It soun...The end of your post brought me to tears! It sounds like you and your Dad have a special bond. Maybe don't label it your "final" cycle? It may create too much pressure. However, I understand why you'd want to label it. It's a tough call. I am thinking of you, my friend. I have my retrieval tomorrow and it's my Dad's birthday. I am keeping our IVF quiet, so I don't know how I'll explain it if I don't call him! I may send him an email and ask him to keep the news to himself. I just can't trust him and my mom, especially, not to unload family drama on me and I need to avoid the stress. People don't understand the emotional logistics of coping with infertility!Evehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15260723824329854148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-63227271016516375442014-04-15T08:10:46.930-07:002014-04-15T08:10:46.930-07:00We kept the fact that we were trying for a long ti...We kept the fact that we were trying for a long time from family and friends. After I finally told my parents (after the IUIs had failed and we were moving on to IVF) it was rather freeing. It helps that they didn't ask exactly when things were happening so I could decide to tell them what was going on or not.Non Sequitur Chicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07268138421234170972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-6192072981607528082014-04-14T21:14:47.047-07:002014-04-14T21:14:47.047-07:001. I hope you tipped that waiter well. 2. Progeste...1. I hope you tipped that waiter well. 2. Progesterone every-other-day, not everyday? 3. I'm glad your grandmother is improving. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06326763572650750036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-27526947909070330952014-04-14T17:11:12.934-07:002014-04-14T17:11:12.934-07:00Telling our parents has been both a blessing and a...Telling our parents has been both a blessing and a curse. It's wonderful to have them to talk to throughout everything, and not have to dodge questions we don't want to have to deal with. But when cycles fail, it's four times the disappointment. I've also had to deal a bit with tempering expectations, since I think both our moms thought that IVF #1 was sure to work. They've learned a lot along the way though, and in the end I've never regretted telling them. Like everyone says, you'll know if/when it's right.Aramishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12275274008426941898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-82335609198230424992014-04-14T13:52:05.292-07:002014-04-14T13:52:05.292-07:00We didn't tell many people about our IF journe...We didn't tell many people about our IF journey for the first few years because we thought it was easier that way. And because we were hopeful that our BFP was right around the corner. <br /><br />I think you'll know when it's the right time to let people in, and who you feel safe enough to confide in. <br /><br />It's never an easy conversation, but in my experience, I think it has saved us a world of heartache not having to answer the "so when are you having kids?" question eight million times over and over. <br /><br />Sharing our struggle has also opened up conversations with other people talking about their personal trials in their own lives. This has deepened some of our relationships and been good overall. <br /><br />Ether way, I think there's no perfect answer. If you tell people, some of them will be assholes, but some of them will surprise you with their generosity of heart. <br /><br />Good luck with your decision. <br /><br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09557861103469077524noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-19671701229163978752014-04-14T08:06:22.885-07:002014-04-14T08:06:22.885-07:00Phew, that hypothetical response made me tear up. ...Phew, that hypothetical response made me tear up. I really hope you won't feel like you have to bear the brunt of the burden on your own forever, as if to save them the heartache of experiences a mere ounce of what you've gone through yourself. I'm glad he asked. Even though I'm sure your heart skipped a few beats and it's never a fun topic to visit, to know he/they do care and want to be there for you is what matters most. Holding out some major hope that this FET will work and you can just share the good news that you've deserved for so long. End of story!Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07415140299306373048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-17381913485160852122014-04-14T07:30:30.960-07:002014-04-14T07:30:30.960-07:00As I'm still holding out for the, "Surpri...As I'm still holding out for the, "Surprise, you're grandparents!" announcement and just never telling my parents what it took to get there, I understand. I recently made a remark to my mother about grandmothers having gray hair, when she quipped back, "I don't have gray hair, and I COULD be a grandmother." It stung a little, for sure. Good luck with your FET! I'm hoping you get to tell your parents exciting news in a few months.Lileehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09827780055657053096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-87875383288031993412014-04-14T06:58:29.343-07:002014-04-14T06:58:29.343-07:00I'm sorry that you're struggling with what...I'm sorry that you're struggling with what to tell your parents. I think though, if you feel ready to finally tell them, you may feel like a weight has lifted from your shoulders. Once I finally told mine, it was such a relief to not have to keep that secret. I understand that you don't want to cause them pain, but naturally as their child, your pain is their pain, even though right now they may not understand what's at the root of it. Sending big hugs your way!shayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03343022560947651822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-37232887838814888872014-04-13T20:31:58.718-07:002014-04-13T20:31:58.718-07:00Hi. I'm new to your blog. This post really r...Hi. I'm new to your blog. This post really resonates with me. I still haven't told my father about my infertility. I have told his sister in hopes that she'd tell him. She's known for having a big mouth, but it turns out that even she realized that infertility is a heavy burden. Although I still haven't told my Dad, it's nice that his relatives know now. I don't have to deal with the constant questions about children.MrsDjRasshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07616044853081447480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-69351703680302493972014-04-13T20:21:38.559-07:002014-04-13T20:21:38.559-07:00It's a tough one. When I finally told my dad (...It's a tough one. When I finally told my dad (although that was years before we started IVF) I broke into tears. I managed to keep a straight face when telling most other people, but somehow this was harder. <br />I'm still hoping you will be able to reveal the IVF struggles along with much happier news!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-16613008193896038242014-04-13T18:08:41.599-07:002014-04-13T18:08:41.599-07:00Telling people is like letting them into your own ...Telling people is like letting them into your own private world, and that opens you up to hearing their reactions, which are often imperfect (especially if it's not something they've dealt with before). It's tough. I think the most important thing about being ready to share the struggle is to accept that you can't control those reactions, and they may very well hurt you. So you just have to be mentally prepared for that.<br /><br />That said - I tell EVERYBODY. I tell way too many people. Sometimes I regret it, most times I don't. But I will say that it's gotten easier and easier to ignore insufficient/offensive responses the more open I am. Truthfully, people treat it like less of a big deal than it really is, which can be annoying in and of itself. Like hey, people, battles are being fought, lost, and won over here, and you just kind of shrug over it. This MATTERS. <br /><br />Good luck. As above comment says, you'll know in your gut the right moment to share... if ever.Deedahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02386061097583007160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-42848641270881086422014-04-13T17:37:18.570-07:002014-04-13T17:37:18.570-07:00Glad to hear your grandmother is doing well. I...Glad to hear your grandmother is doing well. I'm sorry your dad asked you "the question". It sounds like you might be near ready to tell them? Trust your gut- that's my advice. And of course, YAYYYYYY HUSKIES!!! XOAubrey https://www.blogger.com/profile/10268033706598268682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-19256348155317956712014-04-13T16:53:14.491-07:002014-04-13T16:53:14.491-07:00Update on my Grandmother: she weathered through he...Update on my Grandmother: she weathered through her post operative course so far and is schedule to return to the rehab unit at her nursing home tomorrow. Thanks for all your concerns! jAllenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com