tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28088303058722851452024-02-18T21:33:27.498-08:00Mine to CommandThe title of the blog is a line from the HBO series Boardwalk Empire. The blog itself details how I discovered that fertility was not mine to command...jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.comBlogger424125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-85146489533970242732021-02-17T07:31:00.004-08:002021-02-17T07:31:35.903-08:00Picky Eating Comes Full Circle <p> <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">As I always do, I started composing this post by reading my last one. I think I had a sense of hopefulness that some of Kate’s behavioral challenges would be improved by now much in the same way we all hoped things would be better with the Cornoavirus by now. Yet just as 2020 ended and we had the same problems with a new date; we’re still at where we were. As we near the one year anniversary, I’ve been contemplating how much the pandemic has impacted our lives. I do have to preference that our experience has been one of immense privilege. No one became sick. No one close to us has died. Husband and I both have our jobs. We went though the mere inconveniences of cancelled trips and disappointed holidays spent alone. Yet, I still can’t help wonder at times how things would have been different had we never heard the words “COVID-19”</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">The pandemic has made me compromise on many of my parenting promises to my earlier self. I swore I would never let Kate eat dinner while watching TV. That one went out the window fairly early. When Kate’s pre-school closed and she was home all day with me trying to home school her, I felt so badly for her, that I let her eat dinner in the living room as a treat. It also allowed Husband and I to have a quiet meal and became one of the few opportunities that we had to talk with each other. Maybe this was just a way that the pandemic had changed family dynamics. We were spending so much time together that we didn’t need to eat together. Wrong. As many would proclaim, family dinner is about more than just food. We discovered the consequences our our choices when we went away to a sleepy beach town for a long weekend and went to a restaurant for outdoor dining. Kate’s table manners, which weren’t great, had become much worse. Her picky eating was so problematic that we were choosing restaurants based on whether or not the children’s menu would have something Kate would eat. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">My initial response to Kate’s finicky eating was to blame myself for enabling it. I saw the solution was to stop enabling. When Kate started Kindergarten, I told her we would be eating dinner together and she would have to eat the same foods as us. Spoiler Alert. It was a major fail. Every dinner brought a major meltdown and it wore me out pretty quickly. I decided I would start with one meal per week and build from there. I tried making more adult versions of meatballs and chicken tenders. I scoured the internet for suggestions and found a lot of conflicting opinions “Give Choices!” “Don’t Give Choices.” “Use Dessert as a Reward” “Don’t use Dessert as an Incentive.” “Let kids help cook!”. Nope bad idea. The sight of raw beef or chicken prompted Kate to declare she wouldn’t be touching it hours before the meal was served. I gave up trying. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Our pediatrician deemed that with Kate, it’s not about the food, it’s the battle. We’re in the middle of a psychological warfare and I have to come up with a better strategy. As I’ve been reading through <i>Try New Foods </i>and <i>Adventures in Veggieland, </i>I’ve been wrestling with my own feelings and experiences with picky eating. Firstly, it’s a first world problem and one of privilege. I recall my grandfather, who grew up during the Depression, telling me that he and his brother never complained about the food that was served to them because they didn’t if they would have anything to eat the next day. I don’t have to look back in history; food insecurity is happening now. Not too far away from us, there are kids whose “choices” are eating the food in front of them or going hungry. Not just hungry until the next meal, but actually starving. I want Kate to not only willing eat her meals, but to know how fortunate she is that we can provide for her. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">My other mental conflict in dealing with Kate’s picky eating is that I was also a picky eater as a child. I recall that my mother once told me that she hoped I would have a picky eater when I was a mother so I would know how frustrating it is. Actually, she wished that I would have twins so I could experience twice the meal time misery. Well played Mom. Apparently, when I was two I would only eat hot dogs and French fries, which has turned into a form of aversion therapy as I haven’t eaten hot dogs in over 35 years. Too bad it didn’t have the same effect with fries. Interestingly, when I look back I take note that my parents mostly served Standard American Diet foods, it wasn’t until I was older and specifically in my post graduate years that I started to explore Indian, Mexican and Paleo cuisines. However, just earlier today I ate leftover Turkey chili for lunch and I found that Husband cut the onions too chunky for my liking and I pushed all the onions to the side of the plate. Am I still a picky eater? I’ve often noted in this blog that Husband is a picky eater, who won’t admit he is a picky eater, which is even more annoying. Actually he defines himself as a particular eater. He just doesn’t like green beans, asparagus, kale, snow peas, sugar snap peas, butternut squash, parsnips, celery and he’s not too keen on zucchini. He doesn’t like to eat the same meal two nights in a row (no re-heated leftovers for dinner) and won’t eat starch twice in one day. Other than that, he’s open to anything. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Much of what I read, seems to disagree with most of the tactics our parents used to get us to eat. Don’t use dessert as a reward as it suggests that dessert is more valuable than the dinner. When having lunch, I make myself eat my celery and humus before eating my yoghurt and fruit, because I know the fruit and yoghurt are tastier and if I eat them first, I probably won’t eat the celery. Don’t hide vegetables in other foods as it is dishonest and breaks trust. I won’t eat spinach on it’s own, but I’ll throw handfuls in a smoothie. I love the spinach for it’s nutrients and the fact that I can taste it makes it a win-win! Don’t shame or bully your kids as it they have a bad or traumatic experience, it can lead to further refusal and can have long lasting effects. Case in point, as I recall my mother’s line, but I can’t say that it really scarred me for life. Actually I have sympathy for her. I had to do a few rounds of Whole 30 to break from rewarding myself with food. Going thought the Burger King drive through is one of my guilty pleasures. I’m in my 40s and I’m still trying to figure out my relationships with food; how can I set realistic expectations for my 5 year old?<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">So what are you supposed to do? I’ve read two sources that are suggesting that you let kids touch and explore foods without requiring them to eat the foods. <i>Adventures in Veggieland </i>has lots of ideas for this. Carve shapes into beats for a stamping projects. Yeah, I remember doing that in nursery school, and sorry Dwight, I don’t like beats. I dunno. It seems like you’re encouraging kids to play with food. It’s wasteful and now I have to find time to build houses with pieces of butternut squash. At the same time, the idea is so crazy, it just might work and I’ve got nothing else. We’re off to play with some zoodles. <o:p></o:p></p>jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-75696123038081617512020-12-31T17:25:00.002-08:002020-12-31T17:25:56.021-08:00Right Now December 31, 2020 <p><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Currently, I am...</span></p><p><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Reading: I downloaded a parenting book on my kindle after I was alarmed about Kate’s bratty behavior. Apparently the answer is for husband and me to model good behavior all the time, so we’re all kind of fucked. I ordered some books on dealing with a picky eater from our local bookstore as my New Year’s resolution is going to be to improve Kate’s eating behaviors in the new year.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Watching: MSNBC news shows, but I’ve been trying to discover some new shows. I subscribed to Netflix this summer so I could watch The Babysitter’s Club (which was awesome) and I forgot to cancel my membership. As I noticed that I wrote about <i>This is Us </i>in my last Right Now post, I feel that I should comment on this season. I really like they way they included the current events of this year, but <b>OMG</b> that pregnant chick is totally scamming Toby and Kate. There is no way someone her age has the Ghostbusters song as a ring tone or would even name her daughter after a <i>Buffy </i>character (I’m dubious that she even has a daughter). Her entire story of being widowed by her high school sweetheart and then getting knocked up after a one night stand seems a little too scripted while her tale of why she doesn’t like the name Chloe sounded fabricated. I see her suddenly needing money in the next episodes and then skipping town. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Listening: I am the last person in the world who has discovered Podcasts. I became addicted during the run up to the election. <i>The Lincoln Project </i>has featured great dialogues and some amazing guests, but I tune into <i>The New Abnormal </i>exclusively for their closing Fuck That Guy segment. I’ve also subscribed to Janet Lansbury’s parenting podcast, I somewhat find that the podcasts are easier to digest than books and as I’m listening to them in smaller chunks while I am driving to the gym or to work, it grants less time to feel guilty about everything I’m doing wrong as a parent. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Drinking: Coke Zero. I’ve been back to my old vice. I bought a twelve pack during the Shelter in Place order as I thought I’d allow us a little indulgence in what I thought was going to be a two week thing. We all know how that went. Once we can go out without masks, I’ll stop buying Coke Zero. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Eating: Paleo turkey bites. I made a double batch to use up some leftover produce I had on hand after our Christmas dinner. I only had to work half a day, but ended up working through lunch so I’m starved.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Loving: Curbside pick up service. I am tying on a new keyboard after my old one finally died. I had Husband help me find the correct one on the Best Buy website, ordered it, drove to their parking lot and someone placed it in the boot of my car. We so can continue this after the pandemic. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Anticipating: An attempted coup and possible civil war. Do you remember the scene in the original <i>Austin Powers</i> when Dr Evil finally catches Austin and Vanessa and announces his plan to have them be eaten by ill tempered mutated sea bass? When Dr Evil’s son Scott asks if his father is going to watch the demise of his nemesis, Dr Evil responds, “No, I’m going to place them in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death and assume everything went according to plan.” That’s what this election has felt like. It would be too democratic to allow the popular vote to prevail, so we went through the process of counting the results for each state, then waiting an extra month to make it official with the Electoral College, which needs to be certified by a Congress that is planning to contest the results. I’ve heard some people say ‘Oh, it’s never going to happen’ but it’s fucking scary how close we’re coming to it and it’s alarming how fragile our safeguards are. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Hoping: There are better days ahead<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Worrying: About hospitals and healthcare providers. I worry about the exhaustion of all the first line workers who are persevering on an unsustainable pace. I worry about shortages of staff, medications, PPE and morgue space. I worry that the vaccine distribution is going too slow and too many people are going to decline the vaccine. I worry that things are going to get much worse. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Preparing: Lectures! Last year my gym bestie moved to Southern California to take a teaching position at a University and it motivated me to look into some teaching opportunities myself. As this year has been rather monotonous, I’ve been craving some extra intellectual stimulation. A local PA program asked me if I would precept a student and I inquired about joining their faculty. I’m going to start giving some guest lectures and hopefully teach the women’s health course next fall. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Feeling: Just fine. I received the (Moderna) Coronavirus vaccine two days ago. My arm was a bit sore the next day (similar to the Tdap shot) but otherwise no ill effects. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Finishing: I just put away our Christmas decorations. Now to complete thank you notes with Kate. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Celebrating: In turns out New Year’s Eve celebration during a pandemic is just like our NYE during a non-pandemic. We’re staying in and ordering take-out. Kate is determined to have a party with just the three of us. She made banners, created a concoction of melted chocolate chips and raspberries and is now microwaving sausage patties and putting frozen waffles into the toaster. A perfect ending to a not-so-perfect year. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNfLuiIdjlZKVi8LfjnM-AXAiOoSVVNIJesQUadkCTf_vPhzsQACUUOvz1ieVfk-a1X-FwHgFl3hfwl0DJgnvFh9DQiiimqiXpqu0GjkJkoT8ItmnRSkUF09bQ-frgcPFE_nj_0CCnwyI/s1600/FCA77E54-EF4E-4940-84F0-D5225E56EE68.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNfLuiIdjlZKVi8LfjnM-AXAiOoSVVNIJesQUadkCTf_vPhzsQACUUOvz1ieVfk-a1X-FwHgFl3hfwl0DJgnvFh9DQiiimqiXpqu0GjkJkoT8ItmnRSkUF09bQ-frgcPFE_nj_0CCnwyI/s320/FCA77E54-EF4E-4940-84F0-D5225E56EE68.jpeg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8BwdjDrYck3LrCfd2RYae2Bbn_9UZYBp4_0Fxlq8m7Tnzp0NXtuujU5mq3ZR_T0mCnbkf6Xq8ok44JHGD4x1LZVYBeoXoOgCISVhTG3S-11cgVGvrKF4TAjpzQKS7U3CFK5bJmstdYxo/s1600/61376DE8-92AD-4DDE-9FBA-AAAB6F7E7A04.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8BwdjDrYck3LrCfd2RYae2Bbn_9UZYBp4_0Fxlq8m7Tnzp0NXtuujU5mq3ZR_T0mCnbkf6Xq8ok44JHGD4x1LZVYBeoXoOgCISVhTG3S-11cgVGvrKF4TAjpzQKS7U3CFK5bJmstdYxo/s320/61376DE8-92AD-4DDE-9FBA-AAAB6F7E7A04.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Happy New Year! </div><br /><o:p><br /></o:p><p></p>jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-68590619274923141612020-10-29T18:12:00.003-07:002020-10-29T18:12:27.255-07:00Kate 5.0 <p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Five years seems like a mini-milestone. Half way to the first decade and double figures. I guess it’s kind of a big deal, even though we had a low-key celebration. We had three birthday parties cancelled in the month of March, so I think it was fairly easy for Kate to accept that we weren’t going to have a party. One time back in May, Husband threatened that if she didn’t behave, we would cancel her party (it was an effective intimidation tactic as last year I nearly sent a mass text to call off her party the night before the event). I gave him a not so subtle kick under the table as I didn’t think it was fair to foreshadow what would likely be inevitable. I had contemplated having a few individual outdoor play dates over the 4<sup>th</sup> of July weekend, but found that some families were getting out of town for the holiday or only felt comfortable doing Face.time, so I decided not to bother. I took advantage of the fact that Hamilton was making it’s debut on Disn.ey Plus and adopted the musical as her theme. She struggled to sit through all of Hamilton, which made me some what relieved we didn’t get to see it live. (I had tickets for us to see it on Mother’s Day) Although I do think she would have done better in a theatre without distractions from home. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">The day before her birthday, while we were shopping at Safe.way she softly asked me “I’m really not having a party am I?” I don’t think she quite has the concept of a surprise party, I just think she was still holding on to some hope that the virus would magically disappear. You know, like the President is doing. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">I gave her a hug and kissed her forehead.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">“I’m so sorry sweetie. We can’t have a party for you this year.” <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">“It’s because of the virus.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">“Yes it is.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">“I hate the fucking Coronavirus .”<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Everyone in Safeway, who was within the six foot social distance bubble heard her. No one looked shocked or surprised as I think they all agreed whole heartedly with her statement. Even without the adult language, she handled the situation with impressive maturity. Until the night of her actual birthday. Admittedly, she was overstimulated as Face.timed with my parents and my aunt and uncle and her school had a small celebration for her. I made her grilled cheese and baked beans as she requested, but then made the mistake of serving them together on the same plate and allowed the baked beans to touch her grilled cheese. This triggered one of the worst meltdowns we’ve seen in a long while. Seriously, I thought we were done with major tantrums at this age. It was the worse anniversary of her birth and that is including the night of her birth when I was post op and was throwing up non-stop. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Height: 44.5 inches<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Weight: 52 pounds<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">So she’s grown 2.5 inches and 4 pounds in the past six months. That is a 1.6 pound per inch ratio. Is that good? Bad? I have no idea. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Sleep: Back in the day when Kate’s nap time was my free time, I was dreading the day we had to give up naps, but I had no idea back then just how hard it would be, and it wasn’t going to be about losing the free time. I hadn’t been going out of my way to make sure she had a nap on the weekends, but if she seemed tired I would have her take one. Then when we were at her Kindergarten interview, the teacher quipped that another prospective student asked if they took naps. I silently gulped as I wished Kate had been astute enough to ask such a question and I realized that I was going to have to come up with a napping exit strategy. She was still napping at school. Enter Shelter in Place. In lieu of naps, we were letting her have a mid day TV show for some quiet time, as Husband usually had calls around noon and I was just getting home, which gave me time to have lunch and transition into homeschooling mode. So when she went back to her school in May, we told her teachers not to have her nap. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">The school eased back into their re-opening, so for the first two weeks she was only attending for six hours a day. When she went back to a full nine hour day, she was absolutely exhausted when I picked her up from school. She would fall asleep almost as soon as we got in the car. I couldn’t resist letting her sleep a bit, as it allowed me some time to do some washing up, start dinner, hit a 10 minute power-abs work out. However, we found it would make it harder to get her to fall asleep at night. Now, if I see that she is nodding off, I’ll blast the music to wake her up. Husband suggested starting her bath at 7:15, which at first I thought was unrealistic, but I soon learned we need to aim to do bath at 7:15 and we’ll actually manage to get her in the tub by 7:30 and I started a hard-stop lights out at 8:00. Even if we are in the middle of a story, the lights go out at 8:00. She has been falling asleep really quickly too, leaving me some time in the evening… but after packing lunches and hitting some other chores, I’m pretty tired too, especially as I’m getting up at 4:45 AM to go the gym. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Eating: Still a disgrace. Nothing makes me feel more like a failure as a parent than meal times. I gave up on trying to feed her breakfast, since she would seldom eat it, unless it were waffles or pancakes. I was worried how we would manage leaving earlier in the morning, but so far it’s been going well. Kate recently got a backpack that also pulls on wheels and she has decided that our house is an airport and she is waiting to take an airplane to School Island. She has a random memory of getting snacks from a vending machine while we were at an airport, so I’ve been placing a granola or cereal bar on a magnetic clip to our refrigerator to represent the vending machine. Then she goes to the living room to wait at her “gate”. Lunch she gets some yoghurt, fruit, Ritz cheese crackers and pepperoni. I pack some seaweed and vegetable Gold.fish crackers and milk for her snacks. I’ve been trying to serve her dinner earlier in the evening, especially as she’s hungry, but as she’s also tired, it’s a bad combination and I’ve found it’s better just to give her a snack or two before we all sit down for dinner. I’m dreading when we have to all homework into our evening routine. I’ve recently become strict again on getting her to eat vegetables with dinner. She eat carrots or peppers for a while, then decide she doesn’t like them anymore. We recently went shopping and I was amazed when she requested carrots and dip. However, when I put them in her lunchbox, they came back untouched. Kate later informed me that they were “play date” foods and not lunch box foods. I am really worried about her poor diet and her weight and I hope we can get in to see her pediatrician soon. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Likes: I have to say she’s become pretty creative while playing at home. She loves to set up obstacle courses for our cat in the garage (his favorite place in the house, where he can usually enjoy some peace and quiet) Her creations are great and they keep her occupied for a while, the only trouble is when we have to take them down. We’ve tried to be lenient and will leave them up for a few days, but one time she trapped Husband and me in the kitchen as she set up a Les Miserables style barricade over both doorways. Last year I picked up a small splash pad on clearance for $5 and as it kept her entertained, it was the best $5 I could have spent. Then it sprung a leak, so I bought a roll of Flex Seal tape (as seen on TV) for $5 and it was still the best $10 ever spent. Then the tape started to fail and I upgraded to a splash pad that turns into a small wading pool. Best $27.99 ever spend. Cost of selling my soul to Amaz.on not included. Also costs of the water bill not included. I’m expecting Husband will have a coronary when he sees our water bill, but I’m fully prepared to defend that it’s a cost of child care. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Activities: When everything stopped during Shelter in Place, I continued to pay Kate’s monthly fees to her gymnastics school, as I wanted to support them so they would remain in business. They offered Zoom classes, but I didn’t want to cajole her into one more Zoom and I didn’t want to set the prescient that it would be okay to do gymnastics in our living room. Five months later I had to re-evaluate when the cases were surging and it didn’t look like in-person classes were going to resume any time soon and Kate never expressed that she missed going to gymnastics. I also appreciate not having to race out of the house on Saturday mornings. Her swim classes resumed and I was able to get her into a earlier class to accommodate our revised schedule. She was happy to be back in the pool and started asking every night when I picked her up from school “is tonight a swimming night?”We just got off the waitlist to add another lesson each week. I figure while swimming is the only extra curricular activity that is happing now, we’ll try to make the most of it. Her school has also resumed their tuff tumblers and soccer classes and they are letting all kids participate to make up for the misses sessions earlier this year. Honestly, I just think the instructors are happy to be teaching again. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Looking forward to: We are excited about starting Kindergarten, even though we will be starting via distance learning. Kate was accepted into the Catholic school. It’s an excellent school with small class sizes and it is very close to our house. It also goes from Kindergarten through Eight Grade, so after this we’ll only have to plan for high school and college. I really struggled in Middle School and I think there is a real flaw in the idea of “let’s bring a whole bunch of new kids together at a time when they are really insecure and unsure of themselves!” <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">We started out on distance learning, which went better than expected. Husband and I had to use PTO to take mornings off from work so we could concentrate on facilitating Kate’s lessons. Her school did a nice mix of live Zoom classes and short Loom videos that introduced a lesson and instructions for work and they started at 8:30 in the morning. I think one of the detrimental factors that made her Zoom lessons in the Spring such a disaster (with her old school) is that they didn’t start until 3:30 in the afternoon. While I understand that no one was prepared for this shut down and plans were thrown together at the last minute, I really wonder what they were thinking with a class so late in the afternoon. We soon discovered that no learning happens after lunch. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">At press time, Kate has started in-person school four hours a day, four days a week. So far it’s been going well. Kate came home on the the first day and declared “I had the best day ever! This is my favorite school in the whole world!” I shared that feedback with her teacher and she was so surprised as she feels that she spends most of the idea admonishing the kids to keep their distance, wash their hands, etc.. She feels that she is being the meanest teacher ever. Obviously not meaner than her Teacher Mom. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">Looking Forward to: If you can’t tell, I started this post over the summer and just finished it almost four months later. In June, Kate went back to her old school and I went back to a regular work schedule. By July, our lives were feeling something like we were back to normal as we started doing outdoor play dates and had some friends over for barbecues in our yard. Restaurants starting offering outdoor dining and we enjoyed being social again. I volunteered to help reach low turnout voters in critical states and sent over 1000 postcards and letters, which occupied much of my free time. I’m wishing we could fast forward time for the next three months as we’re exactly one week out, and I still feel a lot of uncertainty about the election, both the Presidential race and the Senate, the aftermath, the potential for a dangerous lame duck Trump session, more potential for civic unrest. Oh and COVID isn’t going anywhere and is only going to get worse over the next few months. We’re not going to back to anything resembling normal until 2022 at the earliest. Till then, we’ll be trying to make the most of the new abnormal. <o:p></o:p></p>jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-6409447422409539972020-07-10T21:22:00.001-07:002020-07-10T21:22:05.765-07:002020 Goals Update <div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
It’s so hard to believe that we’re already half way through this craptastic year so far. Individual days can feel so long, and yet weeks and months are flying by. Obviously the coronavirus shifted everyone’s plans and priorities, but I thought it was worthwhile to take a look at what my goals for 2020 were.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Weight Management<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Targets for 2020<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Keeping weight around 155<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
PB on Body Fat Test <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Of course, I had to lead with this one. This was probably the first to go out the window. When we first thought shelter in place may last a few weeks, maybe a month at the most, I started snacking and caring less about what I ate. Then once I realized that it was going to be going on much longer, I knew I couldn’t sustain my current habits. While Kate was out of school, we did a lot of baking as it was a good activity and a good way to introduce math and fractions, so there are a lot less temptations now that we’re back in school and work. Although right now we’re working our way through a dozen cupcakes as we nixed plans for a social distant birthday party as cases have been on the rise. After successfully giving up Coke Zero four years ago during a Whole 30, I started buying it again. Especially since Husband is not drinking while on his anticoagulation, I figured we needed at least one vice. Hey, at least it’s not real coke. The last time I weighted myself I was 156 and I don’t think the Body Fat Testing Truck is in operation right now. I could look it up. Or I could just see that my last weight was near my target, call it a win and move on. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
CrossFit<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
So our gym closed in mid March and we all started doing home WODs via Zoom with limited equipment. I’m sure my pushups are the best they’ve ever been, but I don’t know if I still have a strict pull-up. I know I’ve lost strength. I saw I had a 45 kg snatch as my target for 2020 and I did hit that about a month before SIP. Score another win. I actually did more classes before I went back to work full time, but it really wasn’t the same as going to the gym. I struggled to get in a workout when I went back, especially as we were adjusting to a new schedule. I would wake up at 5 am and would go into the garage, but would end up lying on the ground snuggling with Tyler, who has been spending a lot of refuge in the garage. I was awake at this ungodly hour -didn’t that count for something? Our gym is now holding in person classes and I’ve been attending at 5:30 AM. On our first day back, we finished a little early, so a few guys did an extra round and I joined them. It made me realise how much I missed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Swimming<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
I haven’t been in a pool in nearly 4 months. Currently, I’m writing from Kate’s swim lesson and I’m so jealous of her. I did manage to hit a PR in my 50 Free in February, so I’ll notch another victory. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
3. Setting out birthday cards<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
At press time, I still need to send cards for July, but sending them in a batch at the beginning of the month has been a successful strategy <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
4. Sending photos to my in-laws<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Total fail and don’t really care. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
5. Run some 5K races with Kate<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
I had tried to do some training runs with Kate, but we did about a quarter mile and then she got tired. I let her rest a bit and then she saw an ice cream truck. I realized the other challenge with her running training is that I was trying to do it during what was her nap time. Not a good idea. I noticed that I had running a sub 10 minute mile as one of my targets and I recently did one in 9:10. Score another win. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
6. Parenting<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Targets for 2020: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Getting Kate to sleep on her own. And earlier. Yes on earlier, still not on her own. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Limiting her TV time. This was obviously thrown out the window during SIP, but we’re back to being restrictive. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Getting her accepting into Kindergarten and getting her ready for school: She was accepted into a Catholic school that runs from Kindergarten through Eighth Grade. At the time of her interview in February, she was deemed to be ready for Kindergarten and I hope she still is. I think she may be the first kid to fail homeschooling in her own house. It was a battle to get her to do any work in a workbook or participate in any Zoom classes. Even now that she’s back in school, she resists if I try to engage her in the slightest bit of learning. “UGGGHHH NO LEARNING” Yup. That’s her attitude now. Prior to Shelter in Place, this was the girl who decided to write a letter to Eliza Hamilton (we received a response!). <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
7. Maintaining friendships<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
This obviously has been harder with lack of any social events, so I have been trying to text more often. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
8. Miscellaneous <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Well I was planning to have professional photos done during our Hawaii trip, but we all know that’s not going to happen. At least I won’t have the task of framing hanging over my head. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Last year I splurged on a beauty treatment and then needed to replace my transmission, so I ran into a bit of credit card debt. I got out of it quickly, but one of my goals for this year was to rein in my spending. My challenge was only to buy things if I absolutely needed them. If I found I need, I had to exhaust all resources, including what I have on had, what I could get used, what I could borrow etc. I was too often guilty of buying more clothes just because I had Gap Cash or the store was promoting a big sale. I actually had been doing well prior to SIP, but it became even easier once stores closed down. I ended up needing to do some online shopping to get some clothes for Kate and added a few dresses for me. I indulged a bit on workout clothes, which were unnecessary in the sense that I have a lot, but needed as they helped provide motivation when I didn’t feel like working out. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
I had listed as targets to update our front yard, finish the back year and maybe tackle the mess on our hill! Done, done and on track to be finished. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Moving forward… ?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
I kind of feel that I merely existing from from one day to the next. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day (quoting MacBeth via Hamilton). At least I’m actually driving to the gym to work out, then to work, home, Safeway and Farmer’s Market on the weekends. Okay that’s not that different from my old routine, but at least I had options to do other things. I’m just hoping to get through this month and hopefully we’ll know what is going to happen with Kate’s school. If we’re homeschooling again, I’ll likely run out my PTO, then look into working part time to help Kate manage her schoolwork. I’m sure that will bring a whole new set of challenges and opportunities. <o:p></o:p></div>
jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-9773691680444926362020-06-16T09:21:00.002-07:002020-06-16T09:21:57.875-07:00Body Image Challenges I picked Kate up from school one day last week. I had taken the day off from work and I was wearing my work out clothes. A few minutes after we departed, Kate told me “Mommy, your muscles are getting big.” I thanked her for noticing and was surprised when she said this next;<br />
“Don’t work out in the garage any more. I don’t want your muscles getting any bigger”<br />
“Um, why?”<br />
“Because you look like a boy”<br />
“Girls can have muscles too, it’s not a boy/girl thing”<br />
“But you still look like a boy”<br />
“It doesn’t bother me. My muscles let people know I’m strong. In fact, relative to our body weight, mommy is stronger than daddy”<br />
“A girl can be stronger than a boy!?”<br />
“Hell yeah, she can.”<br />
“Mind. Blown.”<br />
<br />
I smiled and left it at that, thinking I had a good conversation about girl power and body image and I shared the exchange with some friends. Or so I thought. A few days later, Husband informed me that we he picked her up from school the next night, she expressed to him how she is concerned about mommy having big muscles and looking like a boy. She also totally grassed me up for saying that I’m stronger than him too.<br />
<br />
Feeling frustrated, I tried to figure out where this is coming from. Obviously, the boys in her class at school aren’t very buff. We do have a few very built guys in our gym, but she hasn’t been to the gym in well over six months, possibly longer. I started thinking about the shows she watches and soon found my most likely culprit. Husband ordered Disney Plus (so he could watch the Star Wars series) and my parents let Kate watch movies from the Princess collection over Christmas, much to my dismay. I object to the repetitive theme of beautiful girl meets handsome prince and gets married and lives happily ever after (BTW, I had never watched Beauty and the Beast before. Hello Stockholm Syndrome!) but I relented think that she probably doesn’t quite understand the message and just enjoys the songs.<br />
<br />
However, her comment about muscular girls looking like boys, prompted me to take a look at some of the leading men in these movies. I would argue that as we’ve focused on the tiny waistlines and over proportioned busts of the female characters and how it sets unrealistic expectations set for girls, we’ve taken our eye off the ball to examine the male characters. I enter into evidence these exhibits below, which show that all these men are particularity buff. I’m surprised no one has suspected steroid use.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBLdZP0bRxvsyX8-gu5SjmDHPL32koLkDBZqxgtjsoQKDqVd8NtU74Mr9848yNu9XnplG2i1JSmQ7Vo3jqxb2o9Y7ns_v-hQg5OgvFjlJkAi62yFVVEgxoEaTfBXfyegOXQtAWCj5Lg_c/s1600/80A65310-6BB8-4CD6-83DF-BD1A706E78C7.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1270" data-original-width="1536" height="264" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBLdZP0bRxvsyX8-gu5SjmDHPL32koLkDBZqxgtjsoQKDqVd8NtU74Mr9848yNu9XnplG2i1JSmQ7Vo3jqxb2o9Y7ns_v-hQg5OgvFjlJkAi62yFVVEgxoEaTfBXfyegOXQtAWCj5Lg_c/s320/80A65310-6BB8-4CD6-83DF-BD1A706E78C7.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
My Prince Charming, what bulging biceps you have! </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAddbLDCKfNTkmDMRMB_qKCNAppAtxXb7p1R77j7GgVqegVClAsGkKxdJKNmUmijCHdnhSH04FyjSzwHoLxT68bSgkptL2GPi51MglKzmnsEapVGwXODSZQDpMk6cni2KvtqK_Wqjhs0E/s1600/C160F975-388D-4341-8178-D41909F0F12C.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="539" data-original-width="361" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAddbLDCKfNTkmDMRMB_qKCNAppAtxXb7p1R77j7GgVqegVClAsGkKxdJKNmUmijCHdnhSH04FyjSzwHoLxT68bSgkptL2GPi51MglKzmnsEapVGwXODSZQDpMk6cni2KvtqK_Wqjhs0E/s320/C160F975-388D-4341-8178-D41909F0F12C.jpeg" width="214" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Um, Aladdin spends way to much time working </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
his chest and abs and neglects his arms</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVzZei8GYTFd4p_9S86eDSN9-TwAR8OF1q3qCH6ZCT08hIFE9XpXIAmC30Of5iJc7EGHZHsoRGmbT1D5lGN3t3RaEuV2jQERnky5syYi3KkXxW8GvKFgz4wD3b2gUeQxJCG3iRkEmA8NI/s1600/6AFFBB18-DED4-48C8-9E5D-FF261DD0EB16.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="557" data-original-width="675" height="264" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVzZei8GYTFd4p_9S86eDSN9-TwAR8OF1q3qCH6ZCT08hIFE9XpXIAmC30Of5iJc7EGHZHsoRGmbT1D5lGN3t3RaEuV2jQERnky5syYi3KkXxW8GvKFgz4wD3b2gUeQxJCG3iRkEmA8NI/s320/6AFFBB18-DED4-48C8-9E5D-FF261DD0EB16.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Whoa. This guy from The Hunchback of Norte Dame </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
is rather hulk-like </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimr1yA-SBnt_-1PEwXxuDuyrp3H-4aGUfK83e_c9QAVd2g_doC4BMuN0bHvGUSiaDy-PvUdvbUrIoslfYbf1PwHuyw_DUgFEeWHEL1nGkN7ahCzGK122LElJLjnn_JxoUc6uL8CVjYg5g/s1600/E23015AB-75B8-4CA4-BAEF-0A492EE65E32.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1475" data-original-width="687" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimr1yA-SBnt_-1PEwXxuDuyrp3H-4aGUfK83e_c9QAVd2g_doC4BMuN0bHvGUSiaDy-PvUdvbUrIoslfYbf1PwHuyw_DUgFEeWHEL1nGkN7ahCzGK122LElJLjnn_JxoUc6uL8CVjYg5g/s320/E23015AB-75B8-4CA4-BAEF-0A492EE65E32.jpeg" width="149" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
John Smith of Pocahontas settled the colonies </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
While engaging in body building as a side gig</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidX05-aIrmk9_mJepgtmgOeIvqmVmNlgR5g2HWMuqExUDiqs2hRXkc9z_LzcazT-ML6u9_YwaND1P48uTeS8y10u7tDdBlch3QSE_M7g9Dar_29GVoftc9aVDf5ay8QHPhmrnLCVnJU1E/s1600/5A187A79-2C70-4B07-8E48-6AFAB4E2BAD6.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="568" data-original-width="494" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidX05-aIrmk9_mJepgtmgOeIvqmVmNlgR5g2HWMuqExUDiqs2hRXkc9z_LzcazT-ML6u9_YwaND1P48uTeS8y10u7tDdBlch3QSE_M7g9Dar_29GVoftc9aVDf5ay8QHPhmrnLCVnJU1E/s320/5A187A79-2C70-4B07-8E48-6AFAB4E2BAD6.jpeg" width="278" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
The Little Mermaid’s Price Eric eats his Wheaties </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
and never misses a training session at the gym. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggjO-h4qrf5TZAGPe3ddi5psUHYkB2PrHxhcwUEwFhWCmdU5Z8YWFKvkDVjQZ7TipwvlqBBtLSJWJo4qfJpYe6KhcJlSkciNxyhA3fLbQDN1VEfMtkK3i-dtFwVRoOoO0c4FVhCvcWzvs/s1600/0B0C435C-36C3-4670-BAA2-6BB94CC28400.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="926" data-original-width="504" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggjO-h4qrf5TZAGPe3ddi5psUHYkB2PrHxhcwUEwFhWCmdU5Z8YWFKvkDVjQZ7TipwvlqBBtLSJWJo4qfJpYe6KhcJlSkciNxyhA3fLbQDN1VEfMtkK3i-dtFwVRoOoO0c4FVhCvcWzvs/s320/0B0C435C-36C3-4670-BAA2-6BB94CC28400.jpeg" width="174" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Me last year.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I’ve probably lost most of that muscle tone. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Yikes. These Princess movies are even more toxic that I already anticipated. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-91001701270865953542020-06-11T23:06:00.000-07:002020-06-12T21:42:52.264-07:00Right Now Spring 2020 Right Now: Spring 2020<br />
<br />
I am currently…<br />
<br />
Back at work full time. I resumed my normal schedule after Memorial Day, but it has been challenging to operate as business as usual as the unrest emerged as the murder of George Floyd proved to be a breaking point in police brutality and the false accusation of Amy Cooper exhibited the epitome of white privilege. It’s been a lot to process. I’ve been thinking about how my parents handled my grandparents’ racism, how I need to address it with my Father-in-law. How to start having these conversations with Kate. How to take tangible and meaningful actions. I’ve been deliberately silent on social media, as I know I’m one to think passive action counts as actual action. I’m also being quiet because I also feel I need to listen more and understand the perspective of others. I’ll state this; Not only do Black Lives Matter, matter is the minimum standard. Black lives should be respected and cherished.<br />
<br />
Since I went back to work, I lost my 4:30 outdoor gym session. I’m finding my motivation to work out is waning at times. I’ve been waking up early to get in a garage work out before work, but some days I spend that time just lying on the floor with Tyler. Our box participated in the Run Across America this past Saturday and on Sunday we did a WOD in the parking lot of the gym. This meant that I had to get into my car and leave my car to go workout without the interruptions of a kid or a cat. It was as close to “normal” as I have felt in a long while.<br />
<br />
<br />
Husband is currently…<br />
<br />
Recovering from his DVT/PE. Thank you all who expressed your concerns. His lab work did not reveal any underlying hypercoagulable conditions and his doctor think he will be off his anticoagulation medication by the end of the year. He has been feeling really discouraged as not only did the surgery produce a life threatening complication, it hasn’t improved his pain. After hours of searching on Google, he found an Australian doctor who recommended a specific exercise plan, and so far it seems to be working.<br />
<br />
Kate is currently...<br />
<br />
Back at school. It ended up being a no brainer decision to send her when she school started to open for kids of essential workers. She was getting restless at home and Husband was not coping well having to manage working full time while being a stay at home dad. It has done a world of good for everyone. We were anticipating needing to switch to an earlier waking time when she enters Kindergarten (which starts at 8 AM) later this year, but as my schedule was shifted to an 8 AM start time while we were under SIP orders, we decided just to make the switch now. It’s been almost three weeks, but we’ve managed to get out of the house on time each day. It will actually be easier once she does start Kindergarten as that school is closer to our house.<br />
<br />
We officially phased out naps during SIP, so when she went back to school, we asked her teachers not to nap her. The difficulty is that she is exhausted when she comes home. She falls asleep in the car ride home. I let her sleep a little bit a few a times, which resulted in her being awake until nearly 10 o’clock. So now I’m blasting the music to keep her awake and we just have to push though her being tired. Some nights it a major meltdown and we end up skipping dinner and maybe a bath and putting her to bed. It’s going to be a long summer.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghZXkDvWjrQ99KOLAWA3nSZRm1I71XboX0t29j0GD1Z-Z7DP1NC6j5YG5DjtEeEZvdL9G2gs9PxuuoxTARxteUftf79DkriwOTtRjF02UzovB9-SpSPBgtFBtHhCTIFxw1SKQzWraYgyk/s1600/40C2CB91-5282-4AB6-8435-4A529677B13B.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghZXkDvWjrQ99KOLAWA3nSZRm1I71XboX0t29j0GD1Z-Z7DP1NC6j5YG5DjtEeEZvdL9G2gs9PxuuoxTARxteUftf79DkriwOTtRjF02UzovB9-SpSPBgtFBtHhCTIFxw1SKQzWraYgyk/s320/40C2CB91-5282-4AB6-8435-4A529677B13B.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Kate’s Quarantine Self Haircut</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I was going to let her bangs grow out, but she had other ideas and </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
decided to take the scissors in her own hands </div>
<br />
Tyler is currently...<br />
<br />
Battling with fleas. We treat him, they retreat for a while, then come back. I’m trying a new oral medication along with his topical treatment to see if this combination brings more success.<br />
<br />
His meowing is fixed! I had been letting him hang out in the garage in the evening and I would bring him in when I went to bed and would give him his kitty CBD oil. He would settle down, but then would start meowing again at 4:20 AM (his is versed in cannabis culture). I would let him into the garage and then get ready to work out. Until one night, he just wouldn’t stop meowing. We don’t want to lock him in the garage all night (as he’ll want to come in and will scratch at the door and meow) and we don’t want to leave the door (leading into our garage) unlocked. However… We build a special enclosure in our garage for his litter box that he accesses through a cat door, and there is a door in the back that opens from the garage side, which lets him go into the garage while keeping the connecting door secure. The meowing at night has stopped. WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THIS YEARS AGO!!!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjtXg5T4Vi1IHpI2OfA_BoTuQi3ujihZesLmBD-s41jk2D8H0v9Q2xkpnFYTsa54r6T011dxLBfCmO9Lgr5m26KyC90vg1d1X3sx_9ONySUjbWgiOv_dF9aW-UufN3t8En-MFkKMhN_10/s1600/EEF143F4-5ED6-48E7-846C-CBFA193A49AF.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjtXg5T4Vi1IHpI2OfA_BoTuQi3ujihZesLmBD-s41jk2D8H0v9Q2xkpnFYTsa54r6T011dxLBfCmO9Lgr5m26KyC90vg1d1X3sx_9ONySUjbWgiOv_dF9aW-UufN3t8En-MFkKMhN_10/s320/EEF143F4-5ED6-48E7-846C-CBFA193A49AF.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
The Decoy Computer</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Tricks your cat while your are working </div>
<br />
The Good<br />
We finally planted in our planter’s box! We’ve also been working on clearing our hill. I think we’ve done about 75 lawn and leaf bags, plus our neighbors let us use their green bin each week. Unfortunately, I never took any before pics, and I can’t find any, but imagine this hill with a lot of dead shit on it.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghdgHfEuWUHMjWXHr_7AvVBub5IvSNVxy50u8PJYdt6KDk0vFdREjO7XX_Ivo6JuUwkdCZ_zWTXDRdyMybSFdMOkI3jQZL2zvlB6VsxwYRFDkxrECVe79W0xj9bzldyq1rEv4gsJLFkkE/s1600/7B06AFE9-53D0-4140-9233-C0EA57A0B7E9.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghdgHfEuWUHMjWXHr_7AvVBub5IvSNVxy50u8PJYdt6KDk0vFdREjO7XX_Ivo6JuUwkdCZ_zWTXDRdyMybSFdMOkI3jQZL2zvlB6VsxwYRFDkxrECVe79W0xj9bzldyq1rEv4gsJLFkkE/s320/7B06AFE9-53D0-4140-9233-C0EA57A0B7E9.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmEHywsytXn6VASY7uTrOO0SXHh4lC0ILTx55-q-LwYoKvrEjaLJXyG1qNtXRTpJifR_vevc2TYvWwyUi4oVMnhI_jhmLx-gMrdjm9Bd0o9h8Eu5GG_G5SJdylt_LmdlnURKm3OnDTVs4/s1600/F6B620C5-7A58-4559-99A5-8A2440F35D39.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmEHywsytXn6VASY7uTrOO0SXHh4lC0ILTx55-q-LwYoKvrEjaLJXyG1qNtXRTpJifR_vevc2TYvWwyUi4oVMnhI_jhmLx-gMrdjm9Bd0o9h8Eu5GG_G5SJdylt_LmdlnURKm3OnDTVs4/s320/F6B620C5-7A58-4559-99A5-8A2440F35D39.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5pM49zLnWhRwFjBRsnzWhyphenhyphenj1t5jprdtN66moDbXrxK9x0rSiXRRrZQiy2Ug56kdpHZo-HBfV-UGyb-nUGEdAJE2HIoaxB4yTOgjahBRnUjdBFqZ2TxRoIhWUQKSPXUURb_EJQ5Q4Qn_A/s1600/9F74E464-962F-491E-869B-5B8B647033D3.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5pM49zLnWhRwFjBRsnzWhyphenhyphenj1t5jprdtN66moDbXrxK9x0rSiXRRrZQiy2Ug56kdpHZo-HBfV-UGyb-nUGEdAJE2HIoaxB4yTOgjahBRnUjdBFqZ2TxRoIhWUQKSPXUURb_EJQ5Q4Qn_A/s320/9F74E464-962F-491E-869B-5B8B647033D3.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7qqm7o-OWxaYSZjrnh0cCT3Gb0Gs_mdHeaKm9JabHjIt5DoGCFv5ViLiYTCWuQ8K_7zZKrjKCIiIYX8y9MAcgZfEDGZBvcR0q_ckHeXSfi-_CrL_fFxemhILBd1md98jEF7p3lQhM-sg/s1600/A20CBAD7-C830-4830-8264-7F54E39DAC8B.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7qqm7o-OWxaYSZjrnh0cCT3Gb0Gs_mdHeaKm9JabHjIt5DoGCFv5ViLiYTCWuQ8K_7zZKrjKCIiIYX8y9MAcgZfEDGZBvcR0q_ckHeXSfi-_CrL_fFxemhILBd1md98jEF7p3lQhM-sg/s320/A20CBAD7-C830-4830-8264-7F54E39DAC8B.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Still have a lot of work to do...</div>
<br />
The Bad<br />
We officially cancelled our trip to Hawaii and my parents decided they don’t feel comfortable flying out in August. I’m doubtful that we’ll visit at Christmas and I don’t know when I’ll see them again. I really don’t know when or if we’ll see my in-laws again.<br />
Kate and I were supposed to see Hamilton last month. (We are looking forward to seeing it on Disney Plus)<br />
<br />
On My Mind.. <br />
The coronavirus. I’m anticipating a huge spike in cases due to the protests. Is this going to represent the second wave?<br />
Kate recently asked “How old will I be when the virus is over?” I couldn’t give her an answer.<br />
She showed me how she placed her LEGOs so that Elsa and Olaf were 6 feet apart. I wonder how kids are going to be affected long term by this.<br />
The economic effects from the virus. Businesses that will need to close and growing unemployment.<br />
Systemic racism. Is this movement going to bring real change that is so long overdue? I hope so.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpVZOfJHWPbhS9_LrVIilHGaIDyvfhKGIo7OgolnVnWjFVC-J60LqoyR2OOQAEqa6MxppUrQBfHEE8r3SThYY6HIZcHY1mki8nQCcvlfLuceWMF6UJUrOr2Fx_dRPvTuhbngNvTqsWa-8/s1600/CD902BCC-7236-41A0-B923-591FF68E7E42.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpVZOfJHWPbhS9_LrVIilHGaIDyvfhKGIo7OgolnVnWjFVC-J60LqoyR2OOQAEqa6MxppUrQBfHEE8r3SThYY6HIZcHY1mki8nQCcvlfLuceWMF6UJUrOr2Fx_dRPvTuhbngNvTqsWa-8/s320/CD902BCC-7236-41A0-B923-591FF68E7E42.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-27258716964469048832020-05-13T22:46:00.001-07:002020-05-13T22:46:45.315-07:00Returning to Normal (ish) Shelter in Place Day 59<br />
<br />
Has it been that long already? How is it that the days can seem so long but weeks and months are passing so quickly. I can’t believe we’re already into the second week of May. I remember walking into work on Monday morning March 16th, knowing it would not be an ordinary day. At the end of the previous week, many local schools had closed and a Face.book friends with ties to the Governor’s office had hinted that a shelter in place order was coming our way. We had an emergency staff meeting to discuss how we would be reducing services and schedules. I was extremely fortunate to be able to work half days, which allowed me to split the homeschooling duties with Husband. I remember the first weekend when all our usual activities were cancelled. Probably for the first time since Kate was a newborn, I went to bed without setting my alarm and enjoyed a particular freedom of being able to wake up whenever Kate allowed us to and the weekend was a blank slate.<br />
<br />
I often find that my weekends tend to be consumed with activities outside of our house. 8 o’clock gym class on Saturday morning, come home, get cleaned up and take Kate to her gymnastics class. Grab lunch, go to Safeway, maybe hit the Library on our way home. Unload groceries, throw some laundry into the machine before going to the local pub for dinner. Sunday is very similar; gym, Farmer’s Market, any other shopping related errands, maybe a play date or a birthday party for one of Kate’s friends. Meal prep, face time with my parents, pack lunches, go to bed. We hardly spend any time at home, so initially it was a nice break from the grind and like many others, I saw it as an opportunity to spend more quality time in our own house. I culled and re-organized all our closets, although I think I need to do Kate’s again as I noticed she’s outgrowing some dresses. We tackled our utility closet, which I don’t think had been done since we moved into this house ten years ago, and I suspect another ten years will pass before it receives such attention again. I finally painted the trim from when we had our windows replaced two years ago. At last we started clearing through our much neglected back garden, a project that was on our radar to start this summer, but now seemed more likely to actually get done.<br />
<br />
We’re into our ninth week of this routine. I ended up needing to use my PTO to continue my half day schedule, so I started working full days on Monday and Friday. I’m not too worried about consuming my PTO, as I feel we won’t be taking our vacation to Hawaii this year and when we (most likely) will have to do this again in the fall, I think my company may require us to reduce our schedules and take unpaid time off. I found that I had to start setting my alarm again to participate in the morning gym classes via Zoom on the weekends. It’s interesting that under my normal schedule, I never struggled to fit in a WOD when I’ve needed to do a home workout. However, without a structured schedule, I would put it off and it wouldn’t get done. I’ve enjoyed our Zoom classes as I feel I’ve gotten to know fellow members much better by seeing their houses and their creativity with makeshift equipment from using power tools as weights to attaching bags of kitty litter to a broom for a barbell. Yet, I’m so over home WODs. I miss the rig. I miss being able to drop a heavy barbell on the floor. I really miss the fact that going to the gym was my me-time. While Kate likes spending time with me while I’m doing the class, sometimes she’s a hinderance. She’ll want to be the coach and will become upset if I don’t follow her WOD. Even the cat likes to interrupt me. Our gym added a Pilates Style Core Crusher class, which Tyler thinks is a great time to let me know he wants to be pet non-stop right during the class.<br />
<br />
Kate really needs to go back to school. I’m so over homeschooling and my expectations have dropped at a rate we wish COVID-19 cases were falling. I’m flattened the curve of my efforts. One of the hardest things about the beginning of SIP was that it was unseasonably cold and raining, it was finally sunny and warm around week three or four and I started letting her play outside. Our homeschool had a three hour recess. She’s also fairly independent outside and will often use her own imagination to entertain herself, which I think is an essential skill for a child. I go through a vicious circle of feeling that as long as she’s into her own play that does not involve a screen she’ll be fine to freaking out that she’s not doing any “schoolwork” and she’s not going to adapt to the classroom when we go back to “normal”. I’ve been trying to get her to do just two pages in a workbook and it is a huge battle. She stalls. She has to go to the bathroom. She needs a different pencil. She can’t focus on the task at hand and I’m starting to worry that she might be ADHD. It’s easy work for her and I emphasize to her that she could knock in out in five minutes rather than it taking a fucking hour. Today I wondered if it was too easy and I pulled out a K-1 workbook, with which she did a little better. We downloaded ABC Mouse, which she does while Husband is on a work call, and I noticed that she was doing first grade lessons. I asked Husband if he upgraded this, as I believe he set it up at a pre-K level and he hadn’t. So it either recognizes ability, which is a cool feature or she figured out how to access first grade work, which is kind of impressive.<br />
<br />
Early on, I read that the SIP was harder on older children who have more of an established social network, while younger children seemed to be enjoying the extra time with Mom and Dad. Yet like so many other aspects, that faded over time. Although she doesn’t come right out and say it, I think Kate really misses her friends. As an only child myself, I can relate to how boring it is to have only grown ups for company, and its these moments that make me wish Kate had a sibling. Albeit, that can be tenuous; my friend in OC reports her boys play nicely 20% of the time and are fighting in the remaining 80%. I have to keep reminding myself of this when her behavior flairs up. Last Saturday, she was especially feisty and I decided that I just had to get her out of the house. She needed a change of scenery beyond our four walls and backyard. I took her with me to Safeway and it did a world of good. Her behavior was much better. Then next day we went to the Farmer Market. I also took her to her school when I paid the May tuition and the director let her play on her school’s playground. While stopping at a Hardware store, we found an open and empty mini-golf course, which she wanted to explore. I paid for a round, but explained that we didn’t want to actually play. Kate got far more enjoyment running around the course, pretending to be a princess who lived in the “castle” (the course had a renaissance theme) than if we had tried to golf. I need to find more little escapes like this.<br />
<br />
Her school is started a phased re-opening next week, only for kids of essential workers to keep the numbers down (although a third have dropped enrollment). It will start by only having kids go for three hours a day, then six, then building up to nine. I’m really tempted to bring her back, but also hesitant. Is it the right time, should we wait a little longer? We’re tentatively planning to send her back in June, but her behavior has been so out of control, I think we need to try to send her next week. Tyler has moved from being ‘why are home and why aren’t you petting me?’ To ‘seriously, why are you home?’ He’s stressed and has started meowing at night. I’ve started letting him hang our in the garage having his ‘garage time’ which seems to allow him to chill.<br />
<br />
I really need a new pair of shoes, which I prefer to buy in a store than try to navigate sizing during an online purchase. My hair needs to be cut badly and we’ve decided to let Kate’s bangs grow out rather than try to trim them at home. I found the perfect sized containers for my cut carrots at Marshalls and I want to go back and get some more. These are all things I can live without, but it’s making me realise how I took for granted the ease of completing such errands. My eating has been up and down. When this first started and I briefly thought it would only be a two week thing, I stopped tracking my calories and macros as I was snacking much more. Baking has been a great way to keep Kate entertained and teach her math, but it’s led to us eating many more cakes and cookies than we normally would. As with many other things, initially I was keen to try new recipes and excited to have more time to cook dinner at night. Now my enthusiasm has waned and we’ve been eating more processed quick to serve foods. We also eat take out twice a week just to support our local restaurants. Just like when I was breastfeeding, I’ve stayed off the scale until I can really focus on getting back on track.<br />
<br />
Then there is such a thing as ‘pandemic pressure’. In the early days, my friend posted a quote that said ‘if you don’t come out of this with a new skill, completed project..etc.. you didn’t lack time, you lacked motivation’. At the time, I nodded in agreement and ‘liked’ the post. Now I feel more like, um, isn’t it enough just to not get the virus and keep your job? Yeah, fuck you. It calls attention to the fact that everyone’s experiences during this pandemic are vastly different. The families of the almost 85,000 dead are morning the loss of a loved one in a very difficult way. First line responders and medical workers are working endless long hard days. Other essential workers who are risking their lives at work each day. Those who are newly unemployed and are worried about paying pills and putting food on the table. This morning I cut open a tube of lotion to use the last little bit that was stuck to the sides. It’s something I’ve been doing for years after hearing my grandfather tell stories about living through the Great Depression. It hit me that those memories are going to become a new reality. Which makes me feel really guilty and privileged to express these next thoughts. Even as we discuss returning to normal, there’s a part of me that starts to feel nostalgic about this time. As challenging as it’s been at times, I feel so blessed to have this bonus time with Kate while she’s at this age. I’ve enjoyed having a reduced work load and being able to come home and spend time outside. I don’t think I’ll have this opportunity again until (should I make it) I’m near retirement.<br />
<br />
There are other things I’ll appreciate about living through the pandemic. The sense of community, the way we’ve identified who is essential. The way we’ve been checking in on one another and the creative ways to connect. I hope Zoom virtual happy hours continue. I hope bars keep selling ‘to go’ cocktails in mason jars. I like shopping with bring it to your trunk service. I’d like to see some of the positive influences that came out of this crisis carry over as we settle into what everyone is hearing as our ‘new normal’. Social distancing is still going to be present. In the Bay Area, we wear masks everywhere. You have to queue to be amount the 40 shoppers allowed in Safeway at a time (which makes for a nicer shopping experience once you get in). Despite the protection from chlorine as a disinfectant, I’m not sure I’ll get back to competitive swimming any time soon.<br />
<br />
Sigh. We all want to get back to some degree of normalcy, even if it is a new normal.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-15192312458003959362020-04-11T22:09:00.002-07:002020-04-11T22:09:34.129-07:00What I learned during Homeschooling Okay, the first thing. When we started Shelter in Place in the Bay Area, I thought I was going to have time to blog. Almost four weeks later, I’m finally typing. Okay… so how is everyone doing? Firstly, I have to acknowledge my privilege that I can reflect (read: complain) about this experience while many are facing a different reality and have much deeper reflections and genuine complaints. Yes, I’m still working as I’m technically considered an essential worker, but I’m a minimally essential -essential worker. Our office is only having us see pregnant patients and those with urgent issues. I made the decision to keep a patient on my schedule as she had twice been treated over the phone for a possible yeast infection in the past two months. Her exam confirmed my suspicion: herpes. That’s the extent of my heroism during this pandemic -I diagnosed a case of herpes. With a reduced patient load, I’ve been working half days. Since my swim meet was cancelled and we’re obviously not going to South Carolina for spring break, I’ve used the PTO that I was planning to take during this time. As Husband primarily works from home, he’s work hasn’t been impacted, except he is doing more conference calls as he isn’t traveling. When Kate’s school closed, we made the arrangement that he would move his morning calls as much as he could and I would come home in the afternoon, so we could split the homeschooling duties.<br />
<br />
When Shelter in Place was first announced, I think many parents saw this Covid-19 Daily Schedule on social media outlets and like me thought.. okay that seems feasible… Only to realize that it was completely unrealistic. Husband’s colleague noted that there was no ‘Mom work time’ listed on the schedule, which doesn’t account that many of us are still needing to work while homeschooling, which really makes it hard to keep to a consistent schedule. It also hasn’t helped that we’ve had usually cold and very rainy weather, so opportunities to get outside have been limited. Sometimes Husband and Kate have to go out when the can. Emails from Kate’s school keep encouraging us to keep kids on a consistent schedule. It reminds me of the horrible book someone gave me when Kate was a newborn that suggested a strict regimen. Wake 7 AM. Eat toast and tea. Let baby kick on mat while you express 2 oz of milk. Yes, she was that precise. I threw the book in our garbage as it induced so much unnecessary anxiety.<br />
<br />
I think the hardest thing about homeschooling is that you’re not separating home and school. Husband finds that to be the case about working from home. I’ve tried using our living room, which is a room we don’t often use to introduce a neutral space and one designated for school, but it isn’t really helping. One of my biggest challenges, it that we generally don’t interrupt Kate when she’s playing by herself. I refer this to her being in the ‘zone’ as often she’s engaging her imitation and sometimes doing something creative. I came home from work one day and tried to engage her in our lessons, but she was in the middle of creating a treasure hunt. She hid objects in her room and my room and then drew a map to find those objects. Can’t that be considered learning?<br />
<br />
I started out with a rough schedule trying to accommodate some core learning concepts. 20 minutes of math, writing a letter to a friend each day and as a reward, we’d so some fun science experiments. It may have worked for a day or two. She really started resisting wanting to write, which killed me as it was only a few weeks ago she came up with the idea on her own to write a letter to Eliza Hamilton (which we did and sent to the Schuyler family estate and they wrote us back!). I decided to back off as I didn’t want to kill her interest in writing and she is still engaging in writing on her own. (Although not as much as I would like).<br />
<br />
I hit Michels the weekend before the anticipated SIP order and picked up a few new crafts and projects, but I was careful not to go overboard, as I wanted to use the existing resources we already had at home. (We also went through two items that were meant to be birthday gifts for parties that were cancelled) I found some books about science projects or crafts to do with kids, which probably would have continued to gather dust on my shelf if not called upon during this pandemic. One book was more basic, but I noticed the ‘experiments’ were less about learning and more an opportunity to make a mess. The other book introduced more scientific principles, and not surprising she had less interest in those projects. One project involved making a hovercraft with a balloon, CD and a pop top water bottle lid. She didn’t give a shit about the hovercraft and instead she wanted to blow up the balloons to host a party for her Vamperina doll. She taped the balloons around the kitchen (In ROY G BIV order), set up a table and served a bowl of Pirate Booty. I had to start asking myself, was I doing these experiments for her or for myself? Thus, my first and most import lesson learned from homeschooling: lower your expectations. The next day, she left our project in progress set up for an outdoor picnic as we had a brief break from the rain. Zero fucks were given. Actually, I think she’s training to be the next Martha Stewart. Perhaps Freud could interpret it an expression of her frustration with the isolation and her desire to gather with her friends again -but she’s been hosting parties and events long before SIP.<br />
<br />
I decided that I had to move forward with the notion that as long as she was engaging in some type of creative play that was not involving any screen time, I needed to be happy with that. Yet, it really worries me about how it will affect her readiness for Kindergarten. I’m not so much worried about the academic aspects as she is ahead of expectation in terms of being able to write her letters and she can do basic addition and subtraction without any problems. We’ve even introduced multiplication and division and fractions. I’m concerned about her attentions span, her ability to focus on her assigned task and her ability to follow directions. I keep trying to remind myself that it will be different when she is in a class with other kids and a teacher who is not me, but it is one of the many ways I tell myself this will all be okay.<br />
<br />
During the second week of SIP, Kate’s school announced that they were going to start 30 minute classes via Zoom. Initially I thought this was a great idea as it would return a bit or “normalcy” to our hodgepodge routine. Not to mention, I was looking forward to having a bit of a break, especially in the early weeks when I was also dealing with an onslaught of work related emails. I was observing that not only did Kate struggle to pay attention to a task, but she absolutely lost her shit if I diverted my attention away from her. It was to the point that she would even act out or feign some emergency just so that I would put down my phone. I had to make a rule with myself to only look at my phone for work purposes when I overheard Kate playing with her dolls and she told them “I have to look at my phone to learn about the coronavirus” Anyway, getting back to Zoom. It was a total fail. Kate had no interest in the classes. It was a battle each day to get her to sit and participate. I reached out on Face.book and was relieved when other parents reported a similar struggle. It was also interesting to hear parents with older kids who thought that Kate’s age group was a little young for the Zoom classes.<br />
<br />
Then her school announced that they were adding a second class and I lost it. For the first time, I was close to tears. I emailed her teacher asking for help trying to get Kate to engage in this classes. Her response; “Maybe Kate is not interested in online learning at this time. Perhaps she could do some coloring or look at books” I thought that was sort of a cop out. I am much more sympathetic than Husband for understanding why were are paying tuition for this month (we want teachers to get paid and the school to remain open) but I do like to feel that I am getting something for the money we are paying. Plus, I didn’t like setting a prescient that she can just skip out of something school related if she just doesn’t feel like it. Yet, I was dreading a second daily battle to force her to sit in front of my iPad.<br />
<br />
When Husband went in to pay our April tuition, he actually received some helpful insight from the school’s Secretary. She reported that some other parents admitted to her that their kids were struggling and she commented that Montessori kids are used to hands-on learning, so the concept of video classes is very foreign to them. I could also appreciate that there is limited appeal in seeing all your classmates on a Brady Bunch screen set when you can’t actually talk with them as you’re all on mute. The receptionist even revealed that the decision to use online tools was controversial among Montessori teachers as Montessori methods are low tech. It also gave me the idea to set up our home to be more like her school. I started putting new pieces of “work” on our coffee table each night. It worked initially, she started selecting work without being prompted. Then she moved all the items so she could set up a “tea party” on the coffee table and she had a total meltdown when she found that I moved her tea party to replace it with new work.<br />
<br />
Alas, I started to be less structured and tried incorporating regular tasks into learning experiences. One SIP project was to re-organize our utility closet. Kate helped me sort out batteries. We discussed the different types and sizes and introduced positive and negative charges. That totally counts as a science lesson. I also crushed all of our La Croix cans since we can’t take them to recycling, which was an opportunity to discuss volume and density. Some days are better than others. There are times when she really resists doing anything that involves learning and she just wants to play. Thus, I’m finding one of the hardest challenges is where is the fine line between being sympathetic to behavior changes due to the disruption in her normal routine, the fear about the situation (we’ve been honest about the seriousness of the virus and she knows that it “dies” people and many people have died -including one of my former colleagues) and when she is being a fucking little shit? Of course, an additional variable is that we’ve completely phased out naps. On the weekends, we would sometimes let her watch a show during what would be her nap time, just to give her some quiet resting time, but I’m really loathe to give her any more screen time during the day. I just try to remember that some of her bratty behaviors could be due to tiredness.<br />
<br />
The best part of the day is when I have my gym classes. Our Cross Fit box has been doing classes via Zoom and it’s really helped me offset some of the “Quarantine Fifteen” (My eating is another issue). Although I work out regularly, I’ve found I need a consistent time otherwise I just procrastinate. (Interestingly Kate loves waving to my coaches while I’m working out). I’ve been parking the cars on our driveway to give her more space in the garage. One day she wanted to play soccer where she was diving on the ground to do dramatic goalie stops. I started to cringe as I was watching her get her clothes dirty (hey props to her for actually wearing her school clothes) but decided to let it go. Then I realized that by the time all this blows over, she’ll have outgrown the clothes anyway.<br />
<br />
That’s what I feel is the hardest aspect about this situation. We don’t have a definite end date. My Cross Fit coach recently commented that it’s like we’re in a 5 RFT (Rounds for Time) WOD. Everyone is really pumped and energetic in the first two rounds. We had lots of ideas of what we would do, projects we would accomplish, but now after a few weeks we’re draining and just waiting for it to be over. I replied that it’s more of an AMRAP (As Many Rounds as Possible) for an unknown and undetermined amount of time, which makes it hard to pace yourself. I often feel as if I’m in a Groundhog Day loop. Work for five half days, go to Safeway on Saturday morning (early bird gets the TP) and Farmer’s Market on Sunday then wash, rinse, repeat. I approach my work routine by counting down to my next day off. Events that I had been anticipating, my swim meet, visiting my parents -cancelled. Are we going to have Memorial Day off and whee… it’s a solo picnic in our backyard… Trying to find a decent tree branch to do pull ups to keep the Murph tradition going... I sound like I’m venturing into complaining so I’m going to stop. Yet the uncertainty of everything is still a challenge. We were slated to go to Hawaii in August, I’m extremely doubtful that’s going to happen, are they going to be able to accommodate everyone in our timeshare at a later date? What to do about Kate’s summer school. Is she going to be able to start Kindergarten at the end of August? That’s only four months away. Don’t get me started about the uncertainty surrounding the election.<br />
<br />
To all my friends out there in Blog World and Facebook Land, I still consider you dear friends and hope you are well during this scary situation. I’ve enjoyed reading all your suggestions for activities, expressions of frustrations and ability to laugh when we all need it. Just like we did with infertility, we’ll get through this together -the original social distancers<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-27215110914911170252020-02-27T21:11:00.001-08:002020-02-27T21:11:09.063-08:00Right Now Winter 2020<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Reading: After plowing through <i>The Babysitter’s Club </i>and <i>Shelia the Great</i>, I hit the jackpot again at the Library book sale and purchased <i>Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret </i>and <i>What If I’m an Atheist? A teen’s guide to life without religion </i>for $1. AYTGIMM was really important to me while I was growing up. As my mother was Catholic and my father was Lutheran, they joined a generic Congregational church and like Margaret, I got to decide if I wanted to go through their confirmation process. I probably agreed just because some of my friends where taking the classes. I think there may have been a guy I fancied and I saw it as more opportunity to spend with him. The only issue is that I couldn’t be confirmed as I hadn’t been baptized. I got to select my god parents and was baptized (drops of water on the forehead and everything) in a private ceremony days before the big confirmation on Easter Sunday. Also like Margaret, I got my period during this time. I would go on to chose Atheism in my adult life, hence I bought the other book too. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Watching: Lots of MSNBC. <i>Meet the Press. Real Time with Bill Maher. Last Week Tonight with Jon Oliver</i>.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
I’m starting to get annoyed at <i>This is Us</i> again. I find it a bit inconsistent that Rebecca is suffering with memory loss in the Thanksgiving episode, then she’s totally lucid while she’s on a retreat with Kate. I still find Kate to be rather pathetic and while I’ll agree that CrossFit people are totally obnoxious and annoying, I didn’t like how she resented him for losing weight without her. Uh, wait are your waiting for Kate? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Drinking: I left the house without making my coffee this morning, so I stoped at Starbucks. I was going to get a high calorie fru-fru drink since I rarely ever go to Starbucks, but I opted for a Coconut milk latte. I was kicking myself for paying nearly $5 for the same drink I make a home, but it was only 130 calories. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Eating: I just discovered that I can balance my little Baby Bullet container of Humus in the console of my car and I snacked on celery and humus while driving to pick up Kate from school. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Loving: Warmer weather! It was 70 degrees today and is forecasted to hit 76 later this week. Jackets no longer needed! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Anticipating: Our letter of acceptance or wait list placement from Kate’s kindergarten application. We find out the week of March 11. Time seems to be passing quickly, but as my stomach has been in knots while we’ve been waiting, it feels like forever. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Hoping: Joe Biden does not win the South Carolina primary. Actually I hope he does poorly enough to convince him to drop out, but I don’t think that will happen. Don’t get me wrong, I have respect for the former VP and I was rooting for him to be Obama’s pick in 2008, but he is the candidate I feel is least likely to defeat Trump. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Worrying: Everything about this election. I’m worried if Bernie is the nominee. I’m worried if someone other than Bernie (especially Biden) is the nominee. I’m worried about losing the majority in the House if Bernie is the nominee. I really hope we can flip some Senate seats. I’m worried about Russian interference. I’m worried that we won’t have a fair and free election. I’m worried that even if the Democrat wins, Trump won’t leave office. I’m worried that we’re fucked majority.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Browsing: Searching for flight. Kate and I are going to visit my parents in South Carolina for her spring break. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Celebrating: Husband’s recovery. He had minimally invasive surgery on his Achilles three weeks ago and was on crutches with his ankle in an immobilizing boot. Just after he was able to start putting some weight and walking on only one crutch he complained of having some back aches one night. I was recovering from the cold from hell, so we figured he was coming down with it too and he went to bed right after dinner Presidents’ Day. He woke me up around 11:30 sitting on the side of the bed winching in pain complaining that his ribs hurt. He had already taken Motrin and had been sleeping with a heating pad and neither had touched the pain. He looked in agony and I actually thought he might throw up due to the pain. Then he started apologizing for waking me up and disturbing my sleep. This was a bit unusual. Husband is a whiner. Big time. He’ll come back from the gym and moan and groan for days about how everything hurts as he seeks attention and sympathy. Then I saw that Tyler (who is at best indifferent to Husband) had a concerned look on his face. Animals know when something is wrong. I decided we would go to the Emergency Room. I thought he might have a spontaneous pneumothorax. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Fortunately when we arrive at the ED, it was a slow night and he was able to be seen right away. Kate and I decided to go home as she had her Kindergarten interview the next day. Husband planned to get and Uber home. My alarm went off at 5 to wake me for swimming. I looked over and noticed that Husband hadn’t come home. I had forgotten to unsilence my phone and started reading the multiple missed text message. He had been admitted after they diagnosed a blood clot in leg that had traveled to his lungs. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
So, not what I was expecting to hear… Despite the life threatening nature of a pulmonary embolism, he remained stable and was discharged in less than two days. Physically he’s doing well, but mentally a bit shook up. He’s also was really disappointed as he will won’t be able to umpire at all this year, but he started to embrace the silver lining and see this as an opportunity rather than a setback. He wants to lose some weight (which will happen just by the fact that he can’t drink on his anticoagulants!) and focus on regaining strength once he’s cleared to go back to the gym. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Preparing: My Costco shopping list. I’ve been trying to stretch it so I hit Costco every other month and I think the only reason why I’ll make it to March is because February is a short month. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Finishing: This post which I started two days ago -ha! Actually I just paid off my credit card bills. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Subscribing: Nothing at the moment. I didn’t renew Kate’s subscription to High Five as we have a lot of untouched issues. I think I’ll start her with Highlights once she learns to read on her own. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Going: To run a half marathon! My first in nearly five and a half years. I started doing some training runs on Sunday mornings and I actually pulled off my best 10 K time since Kate was born even while I was recovering from a cold. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Listening: to a Nutrition podcast.It’s been pretty interesting although I don’t think I’m learning too much new information, just a better explanation. However, I’m discovering I don’t as much need information about what I should be eating; I need help not eating those things I shouldn’t be eating! <o:p></o:p></div>
jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-29589104893577726152020-01-27T20:27:00.002-08:002020-01-27T20:27:47.524-08:00Kate 4.5 <div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
We made it to four-and-a-half! Kate is very particular about telling people that she is four and a half and not just four. Behavior wise, we are at a <i>much better </i>place then when I was writing her four year old update. Some of the suggestions from <i>The Difficult Child </i>were helpful. The portable digital clock was effective, the goodie plate not so much. Mostly I think she just needed time to work out what ever issues that instigated the regression, but I feel that is one of the greatest challenges of parenting -when to know what is ‘just a phase’ and when to know when to intervene? Sometimes the explanations are apparent. My parents came to visit for two and a half weeks over the Christmas holiday, we had a few parties and hosts guests at our house. Then my parents left. A few days later Husband went away for the better part of two weeks and Kate was left with me and Tyler. She became especially clingy during our morning routine; wanting me to dress her…needing me to keep her company when she goes potty… following me around like a shadow. I know there will come a time when she’ll want nothing to do with me and I’ll be longing for these days, but really, is it too much to ask just to go to the bathroom alone?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Height 42 inches<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Weight 48 pounds<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Eating: While my parents were visiting for Christmas break, Husband, Kate and I went out to a holiday party for his work. When we returned we found my parents sitting in front of the fire drinking wine and eating out of a box of Che.x Snack Mix. Kate asked if she could have some, and my mother responded that it was late and “she probably ate enough at the holiday party”. She then followed up by asking “What’s your weight goal Kate?” TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE QUESTION TO ASK HER! I informed my mom as I ushered Kate to her room as it was way passed her bedtime. The next morning, I noticed that my parents ate half of the box. I was tempted to throw the ‘weight goal’ comment back at my mom, but I didn’t as that would be a dick thing to say. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
A few days later, we hosted my aunt and uncle for dinner on Christmas Day. I served a Frozen II themed cake for dessert (because that was all that was left at the Safe.way bakery when you wait until the last minute and pick up a cake after work on Christmas Eve). Kate ate the frosting off her piece and asked her another slice of cake. I quietly replied that she was only going to get one peace of cake. Once again, my mom asked Kate about her weight goal. I fucking lost it and blew up at my mom. I called her out on the fact she can’t give Kate multiple temptations (she put candy canes on our tree, gave Kate Pee.ps in her stocking and they made seven different types of cookies) and then shame her. As I excused myself to do the dishes, I heard my dad mumble something about my mom bugging him about his weight goal.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
My mom joined me in the kitchen to let me know that she thought my response was inappropriate and ‘hurtful’ to her. I stood my ground and said it was absolutely justified given that this was the SECOND time I had to tell her that her words were inappropriate and furthermore, most anorexics cite one specific comment that triggered their illness. I had to stop her before she utters something when Kate is older and more impressionable. I also informed her that asking someone about their weight goal is a dick thing to say to <i>anyone, </i>especially when it comes from someone who has never struggled with weight issues. “Well, what are you going to do about her eating?” She turned the tables to me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Here is where I have to admit even before her words, I have been concerned about Kate’s eating and her size. While I don’t bring many snack foods into our house (Fruit Snacks, Z-bars and Gold.fish crackers are our staples) I feel I’m too lenient when we go out. Kettle corn at the Farmer’s market. A cake pop from Starbucks while we’re shopping. During the CrossFit Open last autumn, I had to bring Kate to the gym and I know she gorged on cookies and cupcakes from the pot luck table, while I was warming up and competing. I checked her stats and she’s gained 4 lbs and grown half an inch since her forth birthday. She’s developing a bit of a belly and some of her (size 5) clothes don’t fit. She often gets a Plummer’s crack with her pants and her shirts ride up like Will Farrell in the infamous “Cowbell” sketch on Saturday Night Live. I purged our panty after my parents visiting (giving up the Z-bars and Gold.fish, but keeping the fruit snacks) and I’m vowing to be more vigilant over her eating and her weight. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Sleep: So my plan was to have Kate falling asleep on her own without me hanging out in her room. I gave her the privilege (as I really talked it up) of ‘reading’ on her own. Kate does like to look at books on her own and as she’s memorized several books she can ‘read’ to herself. It was a fail. She kept getting out of bed to ask me questions, wanting a drink of water, for one more hug…etc..I ended up going back into her room just to keep her in the bed. Sigh. She has been better about sleeping through the night and staying in her room. The trouble is (and this is related to her late bedtime) it’s sometimes hard to wake her up in the morning. We’re all going to be in for a rude awakening when she starts Kindergarten (which starts at 8 AM) and we’re going to have to push our departure time up by 45 minutes. I’m secretly hoping that kindergarten will wear her down so much that she’ll naturally fall asleep much earlier (and on her own)! We’ve pretty much phased naps out on the weekend (she still naps at school) but she’ll occasionally doze in the car depending on the day’s activities. If she sleeps, great; but I no longer drive around or stay in the car just to her to nap. For the most part she’s been coping pretty well, but we still have some major meltdowns due to her being overtired. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Clothes: As mentioned previously, she’s now is size 5, as it has been her pattern to be one year ahead. I purged her size four clothes just after Halloween, keeping a few dresses from companies that tend to run a little larger on their sizes. By Thanksgiving, I had to purge those dresses as well. She’s become <i>better </i>about getting dressed by herself in the morning, as I think she enjoys being able to pick our her own clothes. I am anticipating quite a challenge, if she gets into her new Kindergarten, which requires uniforms. Previously, I’ve been very pro-uniforms. It takes away a lot of pressure to buy designer clothes for kids, makes decision easier… I’m now seeing that those benefits may apply more to older children.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
My friends’ son attends this school and she noted that it is easier for boys. She just had to buy a few school sweatshirts and then stocked up on navy shorts and white polos at Target, which were much cheaper that the uniform school. Girls have to wear a plaid skirt (which is a nearly identical plaid to my old high school field hockey kit) or a jumper, which I’m sure is much more expensive than the Old Navy and Gap dresses I tend to buy from the sale and clearance racks. Kate refused to wear her current school’s sweatshirt for their field trip (literally the only day they are required to wear it) so yeah, I’ve got some battles ahead of me. Kids can earn “free dress passes” for doing good deeds, or having zero tardy slips and during their birthday month, so I’m going to have to use the possibility of a free dress pass as an incentive to get her out of the house on time in the morning. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
She’s also totally warm blooded. I gave up on nagging her about wearing a jacket in the morning, as I figure experience is more effective -let her discover that it is cold out and a jacket is in order. Nope. She’s not cold and we end up carrying her jacket back and forth to school. Her father wears shorts in the dead of [California] winter, so maybe she inherited it from him. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Night time Potty training: We had a slight setback in October when she would climb into my bed in the morning.. and then pee in my bed. I started taking her to the potty when she was trying to get into our bed and then after a few weeks, I found she was sleeping through the night (and sometimes in her bed) while staying dry.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Likes: She has become quite the hostess. I was cutting vegetable for my lunches one week and she decided to host a party. She found some old paper plates from her birthday parties, set them up around the house and serves my carrots and cut peppers (after I had weighed and bagged them -sigh) She even grabbed some plastic cups and filled them with ice and water. I decided to let her run with it as it was keeping her occupied for more than an hour. However, I discovered I had let the game go too far, when she was <i>devastated </i>that her friends weren’t able to come over to her spur of the moment party and she was even more mad when I re-purposed the water glasses to the cat’s water bowl. Recently, she wanted to make a fruit plate for dessert and insisted on arranging the strawberries and raspberries in a circle and wanted yoghurt for a dipping sauce.. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
She also loves her bath time and will happily play with her toys for almost an hour. Bath time has replaced nap time for Mommy’s time to get stuff done. She is pretty good at entertaining herself and playing independently <i>at times. </i>We refer to this as Kate being in ‘the zone’. You do not disturb Kate when she is in the zone. You do not talk to her, you sneak by her so she is not distracted. You never know how long she will last in the zone, so you make the most of it when she is there. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Activities: She’s enrolled in soccer through her school and after skipping a session, I’ll sign her up for Spanish classes again. Although she resists when I try to speak Spanish with her, according to her teacher, she loves it and asks her for Spanish words outside of the class. After our major setback with swimming this summer, she’s really progressed in the past few weeks and is taking some strokes independently. Most of all, there is no resistance. She asks, “is tonight swimming?” Almost every night when I pick her up from school and when she gets out of the pool she tells me “Swimming is Awesome! I love Swimming!” Gymnastic has been more of a challenge. Her previous teacher, who was the head of the toddler program and was absolutely amazing moved out of the area, so she had a string of subs while they were trying to find a replacement. Most of the instructors were good, just not as good as her previous teacher. Toward the end of last year, she got moved up to the 4 year old class and the teacher is a great instructor. He is a also a transgender male, which has led us to engage in some conversations about gender identity. This coach also started the gym’s first gender fluid classes where the participants can learn any apparatus they want. Girls won’t be told they can’t do rings because it’s a boy’s event. Boys can do the balance beam. I’ve started gearing her to some specific goals; traversing the ‘rainbow bars’ (for some reason she doesn’t like to call them monkey bars) I also started an online course for handstand push ups and one of the features is that if you post videos on their private Facebook page, the coaches with critique you. I’ve been trying to get Kate to do handstand walks while I do my work and I once posted a video of her and asked someone in the group to indulge her with a comment. When I showed her how many people “liked” her work, she was determined to get better. Welcome to parenting in 2020! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Looking forward to: It’s going to be a busy year. Once it gets a bit warmer, I want to take Kate for some training runs with a goal to actually have her run/walk a 5K in April. We’ll visit my parents during her spring break and we’re going back to Hawaii in August just before school starts. I should start thinking about her fifth birthday party, which she wants a Frozen theme. It’s going to hit me pretty hard, she’s no longer my baby and she won’t be a toddler anymore. As much as I sometimes resent her clinginess, I’m also preparing myself that she’ll want more independence. She won’t want as many hugs or cuddles. She’ll sleep in her bed all night, and I miss waking up next to her in the morning. I’m looking forward to the next chapters, but dreading them at the same time. <o:p></o:p></div>
jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-34244588368601434082019-12-06T22:05:00.001-08:002019-12-06T22:05:38.437-08:002019 Goals and 2020 Targets <div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
I’m posting this a little early, as honestly, I’m probably not going to accomplish too much in the remaining weeks. Secondly, I actually have some time on my hands. I’m in Arizona for a conference. I feel incredibly cheeky as it was only a one day event, but I flew in the day before and I’m leaving tomorrow morning, when technically I could have flown out tonight. However the price of the later flight was actually more than the cost of my room (in case I need to justify it when I hand in my expense report). I also hired a car (which cost less than a round trip shuttle to the airport) and I’ve enjoyed zipping around in my rental Camry (driving oh-so carefully as I didn’t pay for the extra insurance) and I dropped in on two Cross Fit gyms and met up with an old college friend. I also got my Holiday cards done! Oh and the conference was really good too! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Weight Management<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
This year was interesting. I started by working with a “nutrition coach” who helped me gain 6 pounds of muscle. I also gained 1.5 pounds of fat with that muscle so my body fat percentage was the same in April as it was in October and my scale was reflecting the fact that I was pushing close to 160 pounds, which was personally distressing to me. I reached out to my old nutrition coach (who moved and isn’t around our gym as much) and we revised some macros, which I stuck to for a few months. (The one advantage of husband traveling for long periods of time is that I can be more strict on my diet plan when I am only cooking for myself). I almost wasn’t going to to the body fat test in October as I figured it hadn’t changed, or had even gotten worse and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to depress myself. I signed up, but almost cancelled at the last minute. When I realized I missed the deadline for my refund, I decided to go. To my surprise, I had lost some fat and my body fat percentage was only 0.1% off my best! It felt like a huge win and has been a motivating factor going into the holidays. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
I feel the improvement I have made this year include increasing my vegetable consumption and being consistent with meal prepping. I gave myself a week off during my visit to my parents, but other than that duration, every week I’ve chopped up vegetables and have even travelled with my baggies of veggies (I also switched to some re-usable bags to be better for the environment). I’m as active as I’ve ever been and have been very consistent with exercise, but my resounding lesson has been that my weight is much more tied to what I eat that how much I work out. It still bothers me that I am at my heaviest I’ve been in recent years, but I’m trying to focus more on how I feel, how I look and what I can do with my body than a number on a scale. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Targets for 2020<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Keeping weight around 155<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
PB on Body Fate Test <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
CrossFit<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
I had a few specific targets:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Sub hour Murph Time – Yes! I complete 1 mile run, 100 pull ups, 200 push ups, 300 air-squats and 1 mile run in 54 minutes and 24 seconds<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Handstand push-ups -Almost! I violated the ‘strict before kipping’ rule and got my first kipping HSPU (with one ab mat) and recently began connecting a string of 3 (with two ab mats). I started an 8 week course to improve HSPU so when the next Cross Fit Open rolls around, I will be waiting to crush HSPUs.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Double Unders -Better! I got into week 3 of an 8 week course and became really frustrated, so I decided to take a short break and come back to this skill<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Completed BOTH Cross Fit Opens, did one competition and my first Olympic Lifting Comp!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
I took a 6 week Olympic Lifting 101 course and definitely improved my Oly lifting technique (although I still have so more room for improvement) I even purchased a proper bar and some used plates to do some work at home<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
I’ve decided to stay at my current gym for now, despite my frustration with the coaching. I’ve learned that the reality of CrossFit is that you won’t improve with the scheduled programming alone, you have to devote specific time to work on skills outside of the WODs. My game plan is use some on-line coaching programs to advance my skills and I’ll see if any of the coaches take notice. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Targets for 2020<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Murph -sub 50 minutes (really need to work on running to achieve this)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
HSPU -lose the ab mat<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Double Unders -50 Unbroken<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Toes to Bar – 10 Unbroken consistency. T2B are such a fleeting movement for me. Some days I can hit 10 unbroken, then I’ll fail after 2<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Strict Chest to Bar<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Bar Muscle up -it’s a lofty goal, but it won’t happen if I don’t try!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Snatch 45 kg<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Clean and Jerk 60 kg<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Swimming<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
I hit one of my goals, which was to avoid any long breaks (other than due to Husband’s travel) but they were a few days when I opted to go to CrossFit (especially if it was a really good WOD or a specific re-test) rather than swim, which has made me wonder if I should stop swimming to focus more on CrossFit? Then our meets come around, and I remember how much I enjoy the competition aspect of swimming (and getting ribbons!) and I don’t want to give it up. At least not yet. We’ll see what happens next year when Kate starts kindergarten at 8 AM and I’ll lose some of my morning workout time. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
I did manage two PRs at our SCM Championships in October -in my longest and shortest events! I dropped over 20 seconds off my 1500 Free and validated my 50 Free PR. Four years ago, when I was three months postpartum, I finished nursing Kate, handed her off to a teammate and wiped baby spit up off my shoulder as I climbed onto the blocks to swim my 50 Free. I don’t recall anything feeling special about this race, so I was in absolute shock when I saw my time 36.92. How the hell did I manage a PB when I was only three months postpartum and could barely manage a flipturn. I was. In total disbelief until I saw it recorded in the USMS database -yes, that was my time. In the next three years of swimming SCM, I never came close to that time. The doubt continued to linger. Maybe that wasn’t my real time, there was just a glitch in the timing pad (yet I’m not sure how). Then I swam lead off in the 200 Free relay (which granted me an official time) and I did it in 36.90! By 0.02 I had set a new personal best! Then I swam the 50 Free again as an individual event and bettered my best time with an 36.6. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
3. Setting out birthday cards<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Awesome! If your birthday is early in the year! Not so much as the year goes on and my card sending drops off. I use Birthday Alarm, but I sometimes find it annoying that I’ll send one card and then get another reminder. I stock up on cards and stamps, so there is no excuse other than laziness.. My charge for 2020 is that I’m going to try to send them in monthly batches. People have let me know that they appreciate the cards and I think it still represents a bit of human touch in our digitalized world, so I want to keep it up. I’m sure people will be fine getting a card early than not at all. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
4. Sending photos to my in-laws<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
I actually sent a few around Kate’s birthday and on her first day of school and didn’t receive any response; only because (as I noted previously) I don’t think my in-laws know how to use the WhatsApp. Although I find it annoying, I’ll go back to sending things by email, as I know my FIL can use email and he has told me that he appreciates them. Maybe I’ll coordinate with sending out my bday cards. Can you guys help me with this? For those who are friends on Facebook, if you notice that I’m liking cat videos or posting some political rant, remind me that I could be using that time to email my in-laws. Husband recently shared that he has the feeling that this year could be his dad’s last, so I want to try to fill it with as much of their granddaughter as I can. Husband is good about FaceTiming with them on Sunday morning while I am at the gym. I skipped going to the gym on Sunday morning, and suddenly remembered why I go every Sunday. You know, because fitness and stuff… <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
5. Run some 5K races with Kate<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
It was not a good year for running. I did a 10 K with some gym friends in February and then nothing until our traditional Thanksgiving weekend runs. This year, Kate did her first 5K by herself! As we approached the starting line, I noticed the jogging stroller had a flat and I made a last minute decision to ditch it. Kate ran the first mile by herself last year, so I figured it would be easier to manage just her rather than her and a busted stroller on a hilly trail. There were a few flaws with my plan. One: Kate’s willingness to run is predicated on whether or not she has the <i>option </i>to go in the stroller. Second: Since we had to be up early (and Kate had gone to bed a bit later the night before as it wasn’t a school night) I let her sleep a bit later and figured she could eat her breakfast while she was in the stroller (also if she stayed in the stroller for the whole race, I could run the course and get a better workout in). When I ditched the stroller, I forgot to grab the snack bag, so I had a hungry kid, who soon became a whiny one. As I knew our only option was to get to the aid station as quick as possible, I was urging her to walk faster and I know to everyone who was passing by, I must have looked like the meanest parent ever. I wanted to issue a disclaimer, ‘look, I know my kid, SHE IS JUST BEING DRAMATIC!’ She proved my point, by informing me that she only runs from monsters. So I pretended to be a monster and we ran 1.5 miles to the aid/snack station. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
A friend recently asked me to do a half marathon with her in May, and as I’ve recently struggled with some running in our WODs, I’m realizing that I am going to have to do some training.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Targets for 2020<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Get a sub 10 minute mile<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Complete a half marathon <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
6. Parenting<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
I think one of my goals at the beginning of the year was to get Kate night time potty trained and I can happily report we reached that goal. When I last checked in we were trying some suggestions from <i>The Difficult Child. </i>The travel clock helped a lot, but the snack plate.. not so much. Kate wouldn’t want anything from her snack box and would head to the pantry, but I replaced the panty snacks with healthier options, so maybe we’re making some progress. I tried getting her to go to bed by herself by letting her read books on her own, but she kept getting out of bed to ask me questions, so it really didn’t work out too well.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Targets for 2020: Getting Kate to sleep on her own. And earlier.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Limiting her TV time. When I deliberately put on a Barbie movie to give myself a good block of time to get my Thanksgiving cooking done, I realized how much I rely on her being pacified. I’ve been starting by trying to direct her to other activities, or just saying ‘no’. She’ll throw a tantrum, but will eventually find something else to do. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Other goals: Getting her accepting into Kindergarten and getting her ready for school. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
7. Maintaining friendships<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
I didn’t list this as a goal when I wrote this list, but it is something I have put an effort toward. I arranged a few play dates for Kate, which has allowed me to spend some time with her friends’ moms. I had two girls weekend trips and I’ve kept in touch with two friends who moved out of the area. I read somewhere that when you reach your adulthood, if you’re not making new friends, you’re losing friends. So included in my targets for 2020 is to maintain my connection with my blogging friends. I know since many of us are posting as frequently (or at all) and blogger has some glitch that doesn’t allow me to comment, I’ll reach out to message more regularly. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
8. Miscellaneous <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
I finally got our pictures hung! As we started planning our next Hawaii trip, I realized I had to get these pictures up before we get another batch. We made somewhat of a last minute decision to get professional photos done, as when else do we have the time and gorgeous scenery? Unfortunately, the only time we could book the session was early in the morning after doing a luau the night before. So I’m hungover in all of photos (which are now hung around our house) and I look pregnant with a food baby. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
So my targets for 2020 -getting professional photos in Hawaii again (maybe at Sunset -before dinner and drinking!) and this time I’m using Framebridge. Myrtle introduced me to Framebridge when she requested a gift certificate for Christmas last year. I was tempted, but I needed to match an existing frame we had in our living room and I had hand painted frames to match our bathroom cabinets (when I painted the cabinets) and I wanted to reuse them. I forgot what a pain in the ass it can be to frame photos. I had to get new mats. Change the orientation. Yeah. I’m so going with Framebridge next time although my former DIY self is cringing that I can’t even manage to frame photos. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
We also managed to finish the landscaping in our front yard. We planted and then got hit with an early frost and I think most everything died. So, we’ll likely be planting again next spring.. but hey we got it done. Targets for 2020 include updating the front yard, finally finishing the back yard and maybe tackling the mess on our hill. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
I wish you all the best of everything in 2020! <o:p></o:p></div>
jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-65574535998225622692019-11-15T21:11:00.000-08:002019-11-15T22:10:38.097-08:00Right Now Autumn 2019 <div style="text-align: center;">
Right Now</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Autumn 2019</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Reading: <i>The Baby Sitter’s Club: Kristy’s Great Idea </i>and <i>Otherwise known and Shiela The Great. </i>Not kidding. I found these books for sale at our local library and I couldn’t resist purchasing two classics for $1. I really suck at reading. I heard that children of readers are more likely to be readers themselves, so I’ve been trying to make sure Kate is seeing me read. I was bringing a book to her gymnastics and swim classes, but then I started sewing non-slip elastics in my gym shorts, so her class time became my sewing time and it’s been getting too dark at the pool to do anything. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
Listening: <i>Hamilton: An American Musical </i><i>Original Broadway Edition. </i>I saw the play with my parents this summer and like many others before me; I’ve become obsessed with it. I carved a Hamilton Star for our Halloween pumpkin, and like Martha Washington, I’m considering naming my next Tomcat after him. (Kidding) Kate and I listen to it <i>Non-Stop. </i>Kate has focused in on the more colorful lyrics. “Mamma, can we listen to the song ‘I’m keeping her bed warm while her husband is away” “Mamma. He just said ‘fuck’” Yes dear he did. For the record it took me 4 of 5 times listening before I caught that f-bomb and you picked it up straight away.<br />
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Watching: I just watched the finale of <i>The Affair. </i>The fifth and final season has been really scattered and rather annoying, but the last episode ended on a good note -and even included a dance number. I’ve been keeping up with <i>This is Us</i> and have been relatively pleased with this season so far, especially as I felt it became really irritating last year. Kate is generally my least favorite character, but I like the story line about her developing friendship with her neighbor as he recovers from a stroke and shout out to the casting as the actor himself is recovering from a stroke in real life. Sadly, my other television pleasure is the children’s show <i>Bluey. </i>It’s a Australian cartoon and I like it because unlike other kids shows, it’s really relatable to kids. It addresses sibling disputes, being too bossy when playing with friends, to meeting a friend on holiday and then being disappointed when they leave to go home. It’s also really relatable to moms, as the dad somethings struggles with the kids at times. (Such as the kids are acting up when picking up Chinese food because Dad is waiting for spring rolls while Mum tells him it’s not worth it while the kids are hungry and tired or Dad takes the kids to the pool and forgets everything) I’m guilty of enjoying watching Dad struggle. As it said, it’s really relatable.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Eating: 110 g Carbs/48 g Fat/125 g Protein for a total of 1372 calories per day </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Drinking: A protein shake as my dinner. I started a holiday weight challenge at my gym.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Wearing: My favorite gym shorts and shirt from the 2018 SCM Championships. I read my last Right Now Post, which was October 2018 and I was wearing the same thing. HA! </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Anticipating: I’m participating in my first Olympic Lifting competition this weekend! Feeling a mix of excited and nervous </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Hoping: Kate gets into our first choice of kindergarten. We have our first open house next week and start the application process in December. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Loving: As of today, Husband is DONE umpiring collegiate field hockey games. He has been away for a total of 40 days and nights this season. Even better, he’s planning to take off the 2020 Winter Men’s league, so I won’t lose my weekend gym time. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Following: The Impeachment Hearings</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Worrying: That the Senate will not vote to remove Trump from Office. I really fear what he could do next and I worry that he will not leave office, even if he loses in 2020 or even if he gets re-elected and serves another 4 years. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Planning: My vacation time for next year. My work situation is not necessarily better but definitely not worse than it was last year. Basically I get through each day by counting down and focusing on my next day off. I try not to have more than 5 consecutive weeks without a day off. We’ll likely visit my parents in SC over Kate’s Spring Break and we’ll go to Hawaii in the summer. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Contemplating: Seriously naming my next cat Hamilton. Also, I’ve been considering switching to a different CrossFit gym. For a long time, I’ve felt that I’m not in the coach’s clique, but lately I feel practically invisible. It’s to the point that I’ve been questioning why I am paying money to a gym where most of the coaching staff don’t given a shit about me. The answer has been that it’s cheap (since Husband is also a member we get a family discount) and they have class times that are convenient to me (with Kate starting Kindergarten next year, I may need to go to a 5 AM class and our box is the only one in the area with a 5 AM and Sunday classes) I’ve also been questioning if the grass is really greener on the other side, or if the devil who know better than the devil you don’t know. I’ve decided to stick with them for now.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Wondering: Why my 81 year old aunt is having to host Thanksgiving at her house this year after we did it at my cousin’s house last year. I wonder what I’ll need to bring. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-32241370325843870322019-09-25T23:57:00.001-07:002019-09-25T23:57:22.915-07:00A Day in the Life Autumn 2019 <div style="text-align: center;">
3 September 2019</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Husband 44</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Jane 43</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Kate 4</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Tyler 6</div>
<br />
0227 Tyler is meowing<br />
0228 Seriously, he has been MUCH better<br />
0229 Tyler jumps on my bed for snuggles<br />
0347 Kate enters our room, I make sure she is dry and let her onto our bed<br />
0350 We both quickly fall back to sleep<br />
0500 Husband has to get up to catch a flight to San Diego<br />
0511 Enjoy the fact that I am sleeping through my usual wake up time<br />
0555 Husband comes in to say good bye; Kate wakes up and says goodbye as well<br />
0556 She wants her milk. Husband agrees to get it for her<br />
0700 My alarm goes off. Quickly check news stories before waking up Kate<br />
0705 Agree to snuggle with Kate for “five minutes” before getting in the shower<br />
0715 Consider my plans for the day. I was going to go into work after dropping Kate off at school as I have a lot of catch up work to do, but I’m loathe go spend extra hours in the office as I have an all day training on Saturday<br />
0720 Decide I’ll go to the gym before going into the office and pack my work clothes into my gym bag and change into my gym clothes<br />
0730 Direct Kate to the kitchen, she says she doesn’t want breakfast and goes to her room to play<br />
0735 Finish packing our lunches, make my protein shake<br />
0740 Sit down to eat my breakfast<br />
0749 Throw my breakfast dishes in the sink. Since Husband isn’t home I can leave them to wash later<br />
0750 Start to get Kate ready a bit earlier so we’ll have time for photos.<br />
0753 Kate is playing in her room and is completely ignoring me as I am standing next to her telling her to get dressed<br />
0754 Repeat the warning. Still ignored<br />
0755 We’re supposed to give kids options. I inform Kate she can choose to put down her toys or Mommy will snatch it out of her hands<br />
0756 Still no response. I warn her that no response means she wants me to take it out of her hands<br />
0757 Still nothing.<br />
0758 I grab the Mr Potato Head out of her hands and apparently I hurt her thumb. She is now hysterically crying, which is just slightly out of proportion to the amount of contact.<br />
0759 She is now running away from me as I am trying to get her dressed. Fuck. We don’t have time for a meltdown today<br />
0803 Somehow I manage to calm her down and I apologize for hurting her thumb. Of course, I can’t resist bringing up that if she put the toy away when I asked, she wouldn’t have hurt her thumb..<br />
0804 and we’re back to crying again! Fuck.Me.<br />
0806 I ignore her for a few minutes to make my coffee and I decided to bring the lunch boxes and school bags to the car.<br />
0808 Kate was freaked out thinking I was leaving without her and is now getting her shoes on to go outside for her picture<br />
0815 Manage at least one decent FDOS photo in front of her front door.<br />
0817 Buckle Kate into her car seat, she starts screaming “it’s too tight” “IT’S TOO TIGHT!!”<br />
0818 Drive off as she is screaming. Figure she either needs something else to be an issue or it really cutting off her circulation<br />
0823 I start playing ‘What Makes you Beautiful’ by One Direction on repeat. Kate starts singing along, so I guess it’s not cutting off her circulation<br />
0835 Ugh. It’s the day after a long weekend traffic…<br />
0845 Arrive at Kate’s school and fortunately find a parking spot. I also discover that her new Peppa water bottle is leaking<br />
0847 I sign Kate in and notice that while she still has the same teacher and classmates, she’s in a different classroom<br />
0848 I also discover that someone Kate’s friends won’t start until later this week. Whoops I was talking about seeing a few of them during the drive<br />
0850 Kate is starting to get clingy and teary at drop off, but her teacher distracts her by showing her new books in the library.<br />
0851 I run out while I can!<br />
0907 The traffic on the way back is even worse<br />
0920 Since I’m already late to the gym, I post our first day of school photos to IG while sitting in the parking lot<br />
0930 Walk into the gym. Gutted that I arrived so late as it’s one of my favorite instructors. He offers that I can jump in. It’s a Tabata style WOD that I can actually do from home, so I’ll save if for a time when I can’t go to the box and I’ll do tomorrow’s WOD instead<br />
0940 After warming up, the first part of the WOD is a three rep max of a back squat.<br />
0955 I warm up at 45, then add 10 kilo plates to go up to 65, then add 5 kilo plates to hit 75 kg and finally 2.5 kg small plates to reach 80 kilo.<br />
1010 A guy who just finished the class comes to chat with me. He’s 71 and is fitter and stronger than some guys who are half his age. He competes in triathlons and I’ve been trying to get him to join our swim team. He asks me if I want to do a competition with him in a few weeks. Unfortunately, I can’t as I have an event at Kate’s school, but I’m really flattered that he asked me. Plus, as my parents are friends with their neighbour’s kids who are younger than me, I like to report that I have a friend who is their age.<br />
1020 Hit 3 reps of 85 kg which was my goal.<br />
1021 Decide to push for more and attempt 88 kg, definitely not as low in my squat as my earlier rounds, but still breaking parallel<br />
1023 Since I didn’t die at 88, I decide to try 90, even if it’s just one rep.<br />
1027 Complete my third rep at 90! I think my last one just barely went slightly below parallel, but I’ll count it.<br />
1030 As I’m putting my weights away, I decide I’ll call it a day and not to do the other part of the WOD which is “Karen” 150 wall balls<br />
1033 I can hear my swim coach’s voice in my head “IT’S ONLY 150 WALL BALLS OF YOUR LIFE!”<br />
1035 I decided to do it. Plan to break it up 25/12/25/13/25/13/25/12 with 10-20 seconds rest. We’ll see how this goes<br />
1042:43 Failed at 19 during my last round of 25, so finished with 18 in a time of 7:32<br />
1045 Log my workout. Surprised at my time as the national average was 9:00<br />
1047 Head to the gym’s shower. Fuck. I discover that I took out my travel shower stuff when I went to Chicago earlier this year. I am going to have to be that person who uses someone else’s soap and shampoo<br />
1052 Unfortunately there is only one woman’s shower gel as everything else is Irish Spring or Axe or some other manly scent. I take a scant amount and try to put it back exactly where I found it as I fear there will be a facebook post in our members group page about not using other’s shower stuff.<br />
1105 Leave the gym and head to work<br />
1125 Sit down at my desk and sign into my computer<br />
1127 My inbox isn’t too bad for coming off a long weekend<br />
1315 Stop for lunch before my afternoon starts<br />
1335 Receive a message from an IVF patient who had some spotting over the weekend. Agree to see her at the end of the day<br />
1415 Co-worker comes over to my desk to remind me about an upcoming training we are attending this Friday and Saturday. I thought it finished at 4, but she informs me that it goes until 5. Fuck. I was hoping to have some free time before I need to pick up Kate<br />
1600 ohh my legs are starting to feel stiff. I’m going to be sore tomorrow<br />
1705 The IVF patient is still viable. I suspect the spotting was from stopping her luteal phase meds<br />
I have a connection with this patient. She did her first IVF cycle at the same time I did my forth transfer. Mine was a BNF. She became pregnant, but miscarried at eight weeks. Then she spontaneously conceived and she was about a week behind me when she miscarried again. Now she’s finally pregnant and just passed the fateful gestational age.<br />
1735 Finish a few emails and leave the office a few minutes late<br />
1745 Fuck! Evening traffic is heavy too. Not good to be late with pick up on the first day<br />
1803 The sign out book is in a different spot. I pretend that is the reason why I am late<br />
1810 Buckle Kate into the car seat. She’s asking for a snack, which of course, I forgot to pack.<br />
1811 Give her a granola bar that I saved from her birthday party to give to the homeless<br />
1820 Remind Kate that she has swimming tonight<br />
1825 Kate asks if she can skip swimming. I had been considering giving swimming a pass tonight as it was the first day of school. [My swim coach later informed me that most youth swim teams don’t hold evening practice for the first two weeks of the new school year to let the kids adjust to their new school schedules]<br />
1826 Agree that we can skip swimming, but realise I probably shouldn’t have let her have the granola bar<br />
1835 Arrive at home and bring lunch bags into the kitchen<br />
1840 Decide to let Kate watch TV in my room, so I can watch the US Open in the kitchen. Feel more selfish about letting her miss swimming<br />
1855 Finish washing containers from my lunch and Kate’s<br />
1900 Make “energy balls” for Kate’s lunch tomorrow. My new school year’s resolution is to try to make things from the Little Bento book that Myrtle gave me for Christmas<br />
1915 As I put these together, I wonder if they will be rejected by the lunch police at Kate’s school since they are made with cocoa powered and a few chocolate chips [they were]<br />
1935 Finish the proteins balls. 10 minute prep time, my ass!<br />
1940 Realize I should start thinking about dinner. We usually do Annie’s Mac and Cheese on Tuesday’s as it’s quick to put together after swimming. Feel guilty giving her such a high carb dinner when she didn’t go to swimming.<br />
1950 Wow. The Federer match is going to a fifth set<br />
2005 Oh shit. I got distracted watching the match and forgot that Kate needs a bath, we usually do a quick shower at the pool after her swim lesson<br />
2015 Put her in the bath and try to go back to the kitchen; she is insisting that I wash her now<br />
2022 Finish with Kate’s bath and send her to her room to get dressed for bed. Agree to let her play so I can finish up in the kitchen<br />
2040 Pick up I my IPad and head to her room, put away some of her clothes and tell her to wrap up her play<br />
2045 She selects her books and sits on my lap in the glider. Tyler walks in and jumps on Kate’s bed. He hasn’t been joining us for stories as much since we upgraded to Kate’s big girl bed.<br />
2103 The last story runs late; quickly usher Kate to the bathroom to brush teeth and go potty.<br />
2108 Finally get her into bed<br />
2110 She wants one more hug<br />
2115 She’s been quiet for a few minutes, maybe she is falling asleep!<br />
2117 Husband comes through the garage door and she wakes up<br />
2120 While Husband says good night to Kate, I sneak out to catch the match. Federer is down a break.<br />
2123 Put Kate back to bed. Feel guilty about my 4 year old staying up so late<br />
2130 Brief chat with Husband about our days. He turns the light out as he’s knackered and wants to go to sleep<br />
2135 Realize that I forgot to pack me swim gear. Grab a suit and throw it in the guest bathroom. Discover that I left my towel in the dryer from Monday morning. It’s still damp, run the dryer again<br />
2140 Tyler jumps on my chest for a cuddle<br />
2200 start to drift off to sleep, interrupted by the dryer<br />
2201 Place the towel over the garage door handle as I fear I’ll forget it. Feel that I spend most of my time prepping and packing<br />
2210 Find I can’t fall back to sleep. Husband is snoring next to me. Attempt to watch the latest episode of the Affair as I feel asleep on it this past Sunday.<br />
~2230 Fall asleep on it again…<br />
September 25, 2019 2352 Finally finish this DITL post…<br />
<br />jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-5974015377954460642019-08-13T21:57:00.002-07:002019-08-13T21:57:31.107-07:00Life’s hard lessons Life’s Hard Lessons<br />
<br />
Astute readers may have taken note that while I wrote a lot about my old cat Angus, especially his rather sudden illness and death five years ago, and I write a lot about Tyler, I don’t mention our other cat Kayla too much, except to occasional acknowledge her in a DITL segment. There is a bit of a reason behind that. Kayla was meant to be a cat for Husband, as he was very jealous of my relationship with Angus. While Angus was welcoming toward Husband when he moved in after we married, he always made it clear that I was his human. We added Kayla to our family when she was a four month old kitten, she bonded with Husband and would sit out his lap while he worked.<br />
<br />
When we moved to our new house two years later, I noticed she was less friendly toward me. She would tend to run away if I approached her, but if Husband were away, she would come to me looking for affection. She was never a lap cat in the way that Angus and Tyler were, but she would enjoys some pets and cuddles and then move on when she was done. As I look back now, I think she became more standoffish near the time when Angus became sick, but eventually she would start to run away from everyone all the time and never seek any attention. I once joked with my vet that I thought she might be on the Kitty Autism Spectrum as she refused to make eye contact and my vet replied “Oh, I’m sure animals have all those disorders; we just don’t know how to identify and diagnosed them”<br />
<br />
Perhaps, she was trying to signal to us that Angus was getting sick. I have no doubt that she knew long before we recognized his drastic weight loss. She started peeing on stuff. It could be the bath mat. Or out bed. She would pull towels off the drying rack so she could pee on them. Husband and I both made the mistake of leaving a jacket on a chair only to have her drag it to the floor and urinate on it. It was an effective tool as I often remarked how sometimes Husband could get as close as to hang his jacket on the knob of the closet door, but not go the distance to hang the jacket inside the door… I set up a special litter box of cheap towels for her in our guest bathroom. It was both awkward to shop for towels for your cat to pee on and then to explain to guests not to use those towels. However, it worked. For a while…<br />
<br />
Then she started peeing on our couches. At first it wasn’t too often. We’d wash the couch pieces and spray with Feli.way spray, which is supposed to help cats feel more calm and less stressed. I brought dipsticks home to test her urine. Always negative. The vet ran bloodwork. Totally normal. We tried more Feli.way diffusers. Kitty anti-depressants and CBD oils. We’d be pee free for a few months at a time. During my parents visit this past Christmas there were some peeing episodes which prompted an urgent cleaning session as we were hosting my aunt and uncle on Christmas Day and our friends on New Years Day. Despite the team effort to clean every piece entirely, the horrible stench of cat urine still lingered. I lit multiple “Evergreen” scented candles to try to hide the scent, which I explained was to compensate for our artificial Christmas tree. A clever rouse, but I’m not sure if anyone bought it.<br />
<br />
My mother suggested that we try to rehouse Kayla and Husband was on board with that idea and suggested we pursue it after we returned from England and Ireland at the end of January. I knew it would be very difficult to place an older, unsocial cat with a behavior problem and knew we had to consider a different solution. We came back from our trip and continued to wash certain couch cushions and covers on a monthly basis. Like every prior occasion, we just hoped that she would magically stop. Then one week in June, while Husband was away, I thoroughly cleaned each piece of the couch. One week. Only one week later, Kate and I came home from the Farmer’s Market on a Sunday afternoon. When we pulled into the driveway, I discovered that Husband had taken apart the sofa cushions yet again. The smell of cat urine filled the garage. We couldn’t live this way any longer.<br />
We never used our living room. The couch was draped with blankets and plastic scat mats to discourage the cats, but they only worked for so long. I was reluctant to have anyone over to our house because I was afraid our house might smell like cat pee. We asked ourselves if we were sure that it was only Kayla doing the peeing. I was and it was more than just my instincts to protect my Tyler kitty. There was never any pee in the other places of the house where Tyler spend his time. Not on our bed, not in the guest room or on the glider in Kate’s room. In fact, I took note that Kayla never spent any of her time outside of the living room. I began to question what quality she had to her life.<br />
<br />
My vet had the same thought when I contacted her about putting Kayla down. If she was urinating outside her box that much, then she must be really stressed. I reckoned that she never really got over Angus’s death and was never quite the same after he passed. I began to think about them being together again as a way to make peace with our decision. “Are we doing the right thing” Husband must have asked at least a dozen times. As hard as it was going to be. My answer was always yes.<br />
<br />
Not as hard as having to explain it to Kate. We briefly introduced the concept of death when explaining about the dangers of cars and why she must hold a hand in a parking lot and not slip her arms out of her car seat straps and my little Houdini is so good at doing. “If you get hit by a car or if we get in a car accident you might die, which means you wouldn’t ever see Mommy or Daddy again” Husband explained, perhaps with a bit of fear factor thrown in to get her to comply. Since the date we scheduled for the cat’s appointment was the day after Kate’s birthday party and I didn’t want it to be a sudden announcement or for her to look back and remember it was right after her birthday party. We started explaining that Kayla was very sick, and sometimes when you’re sick the doctors can’t make you better and you might die, which means you leave this earth.<br />
<br />
“Just tell her that Kayla is going to live on a farm with other cats” Co-worker suggested while admitting that is what she told her soon to be six year old twins earlier this year when she put her ailing cat down. “The boys said goodbye to [their cat] but this way Kate won’t worry about you and Husband dying.” I just couldn’t do that. I feel we’ve whiffed a bit at explaining some big issues. Husband did the ‘Santa couldn’t fit this toy on his sleigh and gave it to us to give to you’ when she found an unwrapped present in my closet. When Kate asked about the few spots of blood she saw on my underwear? “Mommy has an owie.” “Yes, on my hoo-ha” For the record, she does know the proper word for vagina. It just is really cute when she says hoo-ha.<br />
<br />
This time I knew we needed to step up to the plate and deliver. I went to the library and searched the card catalogue for books about losing a pet. I flipped through the first one and started bawling in the children‘ section of the library. The second one I found was by Fred Rodgers. I didn’t even open it in the Library. It just seemed so full circle. I grew up with Mister Rodgers and long after his death, his lessons and his love would help my child through one of the most difficult times of life.<br />
<br />
So we plowed through the difficult conversations. Reassuring Kate that Tyler, Mommy and Daddy, Grami and Papi, Nan and even though my FIL was recently admitted to the hospital as he barely had a blood pressure, none of us are dying anytime soon. Talking to Kate about what happens after you die “No one knows, so we make up what we want to believe about it” was the answer from an atheist. Saying goodbye to Kayla that morning and explaining to her on the way to school that no, she could not come to the vet with us. “Kate, I don’t want to be there!” I expressed in a hopeful attempt to get her abandon her request.<br />
<br />
As we were busy unpacking and cleaning up after Kate’s birthday party, it provided a bit of a distraction, but I couldn’t help feel waves of guilt every time I looked at Kayla. She doesn’t know this is her last night. Her last time eating… I had taken the afternoon off from work. Husband closed all the doors to the bedrooms to make it easier to capture her. As soon as I walked into the living room I saw her looking out the sliding glass door window. That’s her last time looking outside… Tears welled up in my eyes at that moment and as I’m typing , once again, they are rolling down my cheek.<br />
<br />
It wasn’t too much of a chase before I was able to grab her and put her in her cat carrier. I held her on my lap while Husband drove. She meowed a bit and I stuck my hand in the carrier to pet her. It’s probably the most affection we’ve shared in years. Our vet had been really supportive of our decision, she acknowledged that we had tried so many things to stop this behavior and she she twice revealed that she probably would have done the same time. She is also nine months pregnant and the other factor that added urgency to our situation as I wanted her to be the one to do it, rather than an other vet in the office. She’s a fellow swimmer (taking a break during her pregnancy) and she was the one who gave us Angus diagnosis and grave prognosis.<br />
<br />
I’m believing what I want to believe, but Kayla actually seemed at peace when we arrived at the vet, and that was before the vet administered the sedative (I was relieved she didn’t have to place an IV). We all pet her during her final moments and I told her that we loved her and let her know she was going to see Angus soon and I asked her to tell him about Kate. Husband and I both broke down in tears. When we went to pay and make arrangements for her cremation, the receptionist asked if I wanted her name etched on the box and if so to write it down on the form. It wrote “name etched on the box” on the line where it asked ‘Name:’ “No, the woman explained “You have to write the name as you want it to appear on the box” We finally had some laughter to cut a bit of the tension on a terrible sucky day.<br />
<br />
Husband and I went furniture shopping after we left the vet. While it did feel that we were dancing on Kayla’s grave (even though she’s being cremated) it’s a rare event that we have some time to ourselves without Kate to do boring adult things like furniture shopping. Also, as Husband hates spending money, I kind of had a fear that it we didn’t get a new sofa now, we might be stuck with our pee stained ones, which might encourage Tyler to get through his grief by peeing on the sofa and we’d be in a whole new cycle.<br />
<br />
Overall Kate handled the situation rather well. We let her Pre-school teachers know what was going on and the school director actually printed some pictures of cats for her to make a special art project on the day we put her down. I’m somewhat viewing it as a ‘dry run’ for the next time such a situation presents. Kate’s actually been dealing with another tough lesson in life; her best friend at her current school is moving on to a different school. I can relate to this as my friend from the gym just moved to SoCal this week. She’s accepted a 1-2 year teaching position and is hoping to be back (they haven’t sold their house, so I’m somewhat hopeful that they will return, especially as her husband really wants to come back, but my last friend in academia who left for a 3 year position in Scotland 8 years ago hasn’t returned…). I’ve been in denial about it for quite a while, but she moved this weekend so it’s finally real. It’s hard to be a mom in your 40s and find friends, who are your age, your kids are about the same age and play well together, and you have something in common outside of your kids. I just really wish I hadn’t taken so long to see her as a potential friend. That’s the lesson I’m really trying to share with Kate. You never know when people and pets will be in or out of your life, so appreciate all the time you have with them.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-58308184821191831552019-07-24T21:18:00.000-07:002019-07-24T21:19:03.541-07:002019 Goals: mid year update <br />
1.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Weight Management<br />
<br />
I’m scoring this as Mixed. After I was disappointed with my weight gain over the holiday hold ‘em competition at my gym, I decided to try an on-line coaching program recommended by one of the coaches. I like the approach, you follow foods in categories, vegetables don’t “count” (think zero weight watchers points) you eat fewer carbs on your rest days, and you don’t track any calories, which I though was odd, but the coach was very strict about this. I had to weigh in twice a week and they coach would make adjustments to my template. The first issue that I had was that I would do all my meal prep on Sunday and he would tell me to make changes after my weigh in on Monday. Not only do I not have time to re-do my prep, I can’t afford to waste foods. While I did get some helpful tips, and I feel I pay more attention to pre work out fuel and post workout recovery, I didn’t find the coach was that helpful (Definitely not worth the cost, which was really disappointing) I also started gaining weight, which was really frustrating and after my compliance was being questioned, I kept ‘accidentally’ forgetting to weigh myself because I just didn’t want to see the number.<br />
<br />
Frustrated, I did a body fat analysis in April and learned that in six months I had gained six pounds of muscle and one and a half pounds of fat. Well, I was pleased with the muscle gains, especially as the previous fat test guy told me that it’s hard for women to gain muscle in general, especially he whispered in a hushed tone <i>when you’re of a certain age.</i> I so wanted to tell him “Dude, I know I’m old. There’s no need to whisper about it” Anyway, I had hit a PR for my lean mass, but what about the fat gain? “Oh,” the guy said casually “You won’t gain that much muscle without gaining some amount of fat.” SAY WHAT. You won’t gain that much much without gaining some fat. It’s almost impossible he repeated for me. SO WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT? I screamed inside my head, but came close to saying it out loud.<br />
<br />
I recently met up with my original nutrition coach from my gym who confirmed the same thing the body fat test guy said, although he used a bunch of big words and technical terms such as amino acids, so he sounded totally legit. He thought it was an impressive gain of muscle with a relatively minimal gain of fat, which was comforting to hear coming from someone with his experience, but my body fat percentage is the same it was in October. I’ve spent over six plus months, going nowhere… He slowed my some old photos to show that my physique looks the same despite being heavier. My clothes fit the same. Yet, I hate the optics. I hate the fact that if I go to my doctor for a physical, I’ll be ten pounds heavier and she’ll think “Oh, wow. Jane has really let herself go.” When actually I’m working out more and eating better. Ugh, I still haven’t figured it out. Let see where we are at the end of the year.<br />
<br />
*update: If you can permit me to be really catty for a minute. While I was disappointed in myself for not being where I wanted to be when I had my Girls Weekend with Myrtle and our mutual friend, I did feel a bit better about where I am after seeing Myrtle, who is rather frumpy. Additionally, Myrtle wore a denim jacket with every single out outfit during our trip (there were a total of five different outfits that involved three different denim jackets) Insert joke about the 80s calling and wanting their look back. I know, meow!<br />
<br />
2.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Cross-Fit<br />
I’ve modernized from my sticker card. Our gym participates in an app that tracks all your workouts and activity. So far I’ve had 147 work out days and only 47 rest days this year. I’ve been squeezing in some Friday morning classes and I dropped in a four different CrossFit gyms to keep active while I’ve been away from home. Overall, I was pleased with how I did in this year’s CrossFit Open. I did better than expected in some areas, and my glaring weaknesses were once again revealed. I did place 9th overall for females in our gym (out of 39) and I was 3,834th (of 17,762) in the world for my age group<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Targets for 2019<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Hand stand push-ups *This was bumped for improving my Double Unders<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Rope Climbs*I finally learned the technique and can do them, but don’t do often as they tear up your shins<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>CrossFit Open plus 1-2 more Competitions *done and scheduled to compete next week<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Working more on lifting technique *I’m overcoming my insecurities and I have been videoing myself to improve technique<br />
<br />
3.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Sending cards for birthdays<br />
Mixed. I forgot some this week. Including Isabelle<br />
<br />
4.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Work<br />
Mixed Success. There was a difficult situation involving my colleagues at the end of last year and things got really ugly. We’ve made some resolutions to move forward, but I’ve come to accept that things will never be back to the way there were. I can’t remove some of the things that were said from my mind and I can’t get past they way some people were treated by certain people. Many true colors were exposed and you can’t just cover it up. Some friends and family members were asking if I were considering looking for a new job. It didn’t yet come to that. I want to stand my ground as I’ve spent the past ten years establishing myself where I am. Logistically, it’s an easy commute and close to Kate’s school. Realistically, if I went anywhere else, I’d have a brief honeymoon period, the discover it’s the same shit; different venue.<br />
<br />
I also came to terms with the fact that as I am of a certain age (43) I don’t need to be friends with any of my colleagues. I don’t have anything else in common outside of work. Having a job with an easy commute allows me to pursue my other passions (swimming, CrossFit) where I see people I actually enjoy. I go in, do my work and go home leaving my work at work. There’s my success: the subtle art of not giving a fuck.<br />
<br />
<br />
5.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Send my In-laws photos on a monthly basis<br />
Total Fail. Husband set up a chat with his parents on WhatsApp. I sent them videos from Kate’s school concert. My FIL replied a month later “Hello Jane. Sorry I am a bit late thanking you for the pictures of Kate scool consrrt. [new message] there I have made a mess of sending you this message. Sod it part2” I’m thinking WhatsApp might be a little too much for them to handle<br />
<br />
6.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Run some 5K races with Kate<br />
Kate “ran” a 5K with my parents on New Year’s Day while Husband and I ran the 10K. My Dad was a little miffed about placing last in his age group and he any my mom were delayed by Kate’s potty stop. I informed him that the guy who won his (70-75) age group would beat my 5K time. I did a 10K in February, but we’ve been away or busy during other runs. I’ll do one in August, but then probably not until Thanksgiving<br />
<br />
7.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>More FaceTime with Husband<br />
Getting better, but still need to work on this. We made our Valentine’s Day baby sitter night a double date with some friends, which was super fun, but defeated the purpose of us connecting more. My parents let us have a date night while we were in Myrtle Beach, but we were distracted playing BINGO. We’ve been doing more projects on our back (and front) yards, which has forced us to sit down together to discuss plans and even make trips to look at plants.<br />
<br />
8.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Swim Times<br />
One of my goals was to avoid any long and unnecessary breaks, but our pool was closed until Mid February and then when it was re-opened, there were still issues with the water’s chemical balance, so we had to practice in the 2.5 feet shallow kiddie pool with 6-7 people per lane. So my training took a hit and I didn’t get any PRs, but I did swim a full program on 7 individual events and 5 relays in the SCY Championships. Oh, and I’ve only swam once in the past two weeks, so yeah, need to work on that avoiding long and unnecessary breaks.<br />
<br />
9.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Parenting<br />
As I detailed in Kate’s Four Year Old update, we are realizing that we are in trouble. One of my biggest criticisms of my cousins is that they tuned a blind eye to the warning signs that their children were struggling. My second criticism is that the ignored the advice and suggestions they received from my aunt (a pediatric nurse) and older cousin (a speech and language pathologist). So we have been resolute that we will not be the proverbial ostrich with its head buried in the sand and we will listen to any helpful suggestions. I was a little offended when our friend of the gym gave us a copy of <i>The Difficult Child</i> as Kate was behaving well at the time and I had considered her to be a relatively easy child, but as I try to teach her; you should always appreciate it when someone goes out of their way to do something nice for you. Secondly, I recognized that just because I didn’t need the book now, it didn’t mean I wouldn’t need it in the future.<br />
<br />
Some of the suggestions I’m going to try to put into place include having calm, planned discussions about the expectations for her behavior prior to the actual event. We’re going to get a battery operated digital clock especially for her to help with transition times, such as time to leave for school and bath and bed times. We’ll introduce some rewards for exemplary actions, such as getting dressed for school without being prompted to do so. I’m also going to set up her own snack box in the fridge so she can feel herself and hopefully will have less hunger related meltdowns. We’ll see how all this goes. Hopefully by the end of the year, I won’t fear that my child is heading down the path toward becoming a juvenile delinquent.<br />
<br />
10.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Miscellaneous<br />
Last Christmas, I asked for some gift cards to a local framing shops so I can finally display our pictures from Hawaii and update photos in out bathroom that we have been looking at for the last ten years. I went as far as ordering the photos, now I have to get in gear to get the mats and frames and then the next challenge is actually hanging them on the wall. I hoping that by writing this task as one of my goals, it will actually get done.<br />
<br />
Finish the bluestone and plant one planter box in our back yard. We did a bit of a renovation in our backyard last year. After getting new siding and windows for the house, we ripped out of old deck, installed a newer smaller one, created a patio area with pavers and put in fake grass. We started putting blue stone around the house, but discovered that we (read:Husband) did the math wrong and miscalculated how much stone will needed and we ended up being short and ran out of time to finish last year. Husband also discovered there were roots within our new planter box that needed to be dug up and has spent many weekends digging roots and then complaining about how sore he is after he digs. The back garden is still on a bit of a delay as we’ve received three letters from our HOA about the unsightly front garden, but we’re ordered the stone (although not set a date for delivery) and we’ve started looking a plants for the planter box. Again, I’m hoping that by writing this goal in here; it will get done.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-75773057364750256982019-07-15T23:13:00.000-07:002019-07-15T23:13:01.603-07:00Kate 4.0 As I always read over my last update before composing my current one, I am laughing out loud as I read that we were passed the horrible Threeranasauras stage. Oh no. It’s like herpes, the gift that keeps on giving. Even though she just turned four, she’s exhibiting all the horrible behaviors of her terrible threes. It started just after Memorial Day weekend, husband and been away, but Kate and I were doing fine flying solo. She spent an afternoon playing with her cousin and was very well behaved when my friend’s husband graciously offered to watch her and another kid while we did a benchmark work-out. The next week Husband went away for two days and she started her school’s summer program, which meant a different classroom, new teachers and a few new classmates as the school likes to mix-up the classes for the summer modules. Then I went away for a few days. Kate was so much for Husband that he called me begging me to come home earlier. We tried to go out to our usual Saturday night dinner at the pub, but she was so poorly behaved that we had to turn the car around and never made it to the restaurant. Then Husband went away for a week. For the second time, Kate was refusing to get in the pool at her swim lesson (she had a new instructor as her regular one was away) I explained that there have been a lot of transitions recently and she doesn’t handle change well. I was hoping that was all this was just a slight setback in her behavior, she’d be back to normal and all would be right with our world again. [insert laughter]<br />
<br />
Nope. A month later, things have become much worse. She completely.regressed. I went back to read that post, we are exactly right back where we were a year ago. Wanting to play pretend (baby, kitty, puppy..etc) at inappropriate times. Throwing horrible tantrums where she thrashes all over the ground. Being super clingy and throwing one of those tantrums because I had the audacity to leave her side long enough to take a shower. Not cooperating with getting dressed. Being as difficult as possible as much as possible. One morning she was sitting on our bed when I informed her it was time to turn off the TV and go to the kitchen (our usual routine). When she didn’t comply, I gave her the option “Do you want me to turn off the TV or do you want to do it?” Her Pre-school promotes this approach as kids feel they are more empowered rather that being told what to do. I asked again. I told her that if she is not answering ‘yes, that she wants to do it’ she must mean that she wants me to do it. She said she would do ‘eenie-meanie-miney-moe’. After two endless rounds of eenie-meanie, I turned off the TV, walked out of the room and shut the door to muffle the sounds of her crying and screaming.<br />
<br />
I threatened to cancel her birthday party if she didn’t improve her behavior, which worked for a while and fortunately, she was very good at her party. She hasn’t opened half of her presents as we’re saving them for positive reinforcement for good behavior, but there hasn’t been too much to reward. We’ve taken away watching TV in the evenings. I’ve given her specific examples of what she needs to do to earn back her TV privileges (cooperate with getting dressed at swimming, no playing pretend at school pick-up) and she fails to do these and then wants “more chances” to earn her TV time back. After six weeks of a steadfast decline, Husband and I accepted that this isn’t just a phase that will pass on it’s own. I reached out to our pediatrician and I’m trying to set up a conference with her teacher. I’m reading The Difficult Child as we speak and I ordered *Positive Disclipine* from Amazon last night. Has anyone else dealt with a major behavior regression? I vented to a fellow mom at my gym that my kid has turned into a fucking asshole. She just laughed. “All kids are assholes, Jane. Not too many moms admit it out loud as you just did. Recognizing it is the first step, You’ve got this Mom,” Do I? I hope so…<br />
<br />
Height:<br />
Weight:<br />
<br />
Eating: We’ve made slight progress here. After offering the broccoli tater tots as a desperate attempt to sneak a green vegetable into her, she is actually eating two vegetables on her own. At a CrossFit BBQ, she fixed herself a plate of carrot sticks and ranch dip and she’ll eat yellow or orange peppers if they are served at home. For some reason, she does not eat them when I put them in her lunch box, but since she’s eating them at home, I’ll take it and score it as a win.<br />
<br />
Potty Training: I can report a major victory in this category! We have achieved night time dryness! When we got back from South Carolina, I gave us all a week to get over the jet-lag and then started putting her to bed commando and I would set my alarm every two hours to get up and to try to do a dream pee. We had some initial success, but she wouldn’t always pee during the dream pee, but at most was only wetting the bed once a night, which was much better than when we last left off and it was multiple times a night. Then I read some source that suggested that the dream pee doesn’t really teach kids anything, it just means you have less laundry to do. If she wasn’t learning anything, and since he works from home, I can actually get Husband to do the laundry, why was I sacrificing my sleep? I decided to ditch the dream pee and see what would happen. She wet the bed the next few nights. I was completely frustrated and despondent. I was convinced she would be using pull-ups until she went to kindergarten.<br />
<br />
We asked Husband’s colleague and friend who has a son a year older than Kate and was finally dry at night just before he was four and a half what worked for them. “I bribed him” was the response she sent via text, but she didn’t quite explain how. Desperate, I just googled “how to night time potty train your toddler” and the magic little person who runs the internet hooked me up with this mom’s suggestion “do a double pee before bedtime”. I put both suggestions into place. Kate usually pees before or during her bath, then we do stories before bedtime. I offered that if she puts pee-pee in the potty after we read our three night times stories.. she will get a BONUS story! Next, if she wants to get into our bed during the middle of the night, she must put pee-pee in the potty or else she goes back to her bed.<br />
<br />
BINGO this was the magic formula that finally worked. Kate would be dry when she came into our bed, she would pee and stay dry for the rest of the night. There have been a few accidents, including one in our bed; but for the most part she is dry almost every night. She is now even using the potty in her room on her own before she comes into our bed. Some times she’ll wet her pants a little bit, which I think wakes her up to go to the potty and she’ll even change her Jammie bottoms on her own. I’m somewhat wondering if her behavior regression is to offset this major developmental leap she’s made, but what I know for sure is that I recently realized that I had to wash her sheets as they hadn’t been changed in over a week. Thank you random woman on the Internet who made the double pee suggestion. I don’t know who you are, but I wish I could send you $17 as that tip was much more helpful that Jamie Glow.acki’s nighttime training supplement.<br />
<br />
Sleep: We’re still in the same dilemma; when she naps during the day she’s not tired at bedtime and doesn’t fall asleep until nearly 9:30 every night, which is too late for both Kate and Mommy, who is still sitting in her room until she falls asleep. I tried on a weekend to see what would happen if she didn’t nap and she was absolutely grizzly come 7PM. I could tell she was too tired to eat dinner and rather than risk an even bigger meltdown, I let her have some milk, gave her a quick bath and put her to bed. She was asleep before 8:30. Can I tell you how much I was ready to party when I walked out of her room?<br />
<br />
I have a few strategies moving forward. Firstly we’re finally going to get her into a twin bed as she has been sleeping on her crib mattress for the better part of a year and she barely fits on it. I had been stressing out over so many bed designs and types and dealing with the limited options for configurations in her room given the location of the window, heating vent, closet and most importantly that her dresser is secured to the wall and the mirror is perfectly centered over the dresser and I really don’t want to move either one. Then I decided that the easiest thing to do would be to just get a day bed with a trundle that is essentially a larger version of what she has now with her toddler bed converted from her old crib. I think it will work for the kid who does not do well with change and for her mom, who is also some what reluctant to change the room from the nursery that I designed for my baby. I’m also going to get a storage unit that is somewhat of a similar style to her old changing table, and for now I’m keeping the glider in the room, mostly because Tyler spends a lot of time sleeping there and I think it’s one of his favorite spots.<br />
<br />
My other night time strategies will involve getting her to go to sleep on her own, and I’m keeping the chair in part because I think we may need to ‘wean’ the time Mommy spends in the chair each night, which is actually going to be hard for me because it can be a productive use of time to clean my email, make shopping lists and download my Safe.way coupons. I also want to bring back the OK to wake clock to get her to sleep in her own room all night. As much as I do love snuggling with her at night, it’s becoming harder as she is getting bigger. Despite the fact that we have a Cal King and there really is enough room for the three of us, she crowds my side and I end up sleeping on a sliver of the bed. I thought I had pinched something in my shoulder at swimming or at the gym, but when I went to Monterey for a few nights, I realized it was from the way I was sleeping with Kate at my side. Some nights, I’ll get up and sleep in the guest room, which feel so decadent to have a bed to myself (well sharing only with Tyler) but it’s really not ideal. So that’s our goal by the end of the year; new bed, going to sleep on her own, staying dry overnight and staying in her own room all night. I’ll let you know how it goes.<br />
<br />
Looking forward to: Having my normal kid back! I hope! I’m en route to Chicago for my Girls Weekend with Myrtle as I type, which is my last trip of the year. My parents are coming for a two week visit in August and I so desperately hope Kate’s behavior is improved by then, because all my feelings of inadequacy and failure as a parent will only be magnified in front of my mother. Then we start a new school year and Husband will be traveling for hockey (yay! More transition and change!) but we also will be approaching Halloween, Thanksgiving, and (gulp) Christmas. Seriously, how can it be almost Christmas already?<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-26600713312233168502019-06-13T22:28:00.001-07:002019-06-13T22:28:26.209-07:00Birthday Party Etiquette <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">I’ve found that after college, it’s hard to make friends as an adult. People become comfortable with the groups they have and don’t really look to add new members. I had somewhat been promised that once we had a baby, I could gain some Mom Friends. Shortly after Kate was born, I started attending a weekly Moms group and the group would go out for lunch after then session. I would enjoy chatting with these other women, but we never exchanged numbers or made plans on our own. I didn’t see myself having much in common with these women other than our babies. So that didn’t really work out. I would recognize some moms during the Day Care drop off, but I never had the time to start a conversation as I had to rush off to work. Then Kate started to get invited to birthday parties for her classmates. At last, I was chatting with other moms and making play dates with her school friends</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">I started buying gifts for these parties. I felt like it was the price of admission to the Moms Club. Once I bought a gift even though I had no idea who the kid was. I went gender neutral as I wasn’t sure by the name if the child was a boy or girl. As Kate became older, I started involving her to select a gift and explained how we give gifts as birthday presents. Then just days before Kate’s second birthday party we received an invite for a party and the Mom wrote “No gifts, please” at the bottom of the announcement. I some what questioned she can’t really mean no gifts? What if I was the only one who didn’t bring a gift? I figured it was better to error on the side of commission than omission and selected a gift to bring. When we arrived, there was a small pile of presents, so I added ours. *</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">A few days later, it was time for Kate’s party. I didn’t make any mention about gift on the invite, but directed those who brought a gift to set them at a designated table. We decided not to have Kate open her presents at her party and we would stretch it out by having her open one or two a night. As I was keeping track of who gave which gifts to write thank you notes, I noticed that the mom who requested no gifts at her daughter’s party did not give a gift to Kate (even though we had brought one for her daughter’s party and for the record, we never received any kind of a thank you). Suddenly, it hit me. She really did mean no gifts! (Kate was later invited to the party for their older child and this time she capitalized NO GIFTS on the invite, just to make it really clear.)</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">It started to make sense to me. I could understand why a mom might not want birthday gifts. More stuff in the house, maybe the grandparents and other family members go overboard and they don’t need any extra gifts. Maybe they consider the party experience is enough of a birthday gift. Whatever their reason, if the mom writes ‘no gifts, please’ she means no gifts and to bring a gift would be violating the Mom Code. However, I noticed we received some other invites that were a little less clear… ‘in lieu of gifts, please bring a book’… um that is a gift, you’re just specifying what you want. Or ‘your presence is the only present we need’. That is not exactly the same thing as ‘no gifts, please’. Thinking it was; I didn’t bring a gift to a party and was one of the few who didn’t bring a gift, and I felt a bit awkward. Although I did note that others who attended were much longer term friends and I has only started hanging out with this mom and her kids (friends from the gym) so maybe her message was just to make sure no one felt obligated to bring a gift. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Then this really got me thinking; should I be requesting ‘no gifts, please’ for Kate’s party? Is this the thing that is done now? Am I going to be shunned for accepting gifts? While it has not been the intention or purpose of Kate’s birthday parties, I’ve appreciated the gifts we’ve received. Firstly, Kate doesn’t get gifts from her grandparents or any other family members, other than my aunt and uncle and cousins, who we invite to the party. Secondly, as her birthday and Christmas are about six months apart, I can get her to have a good clear out of toys she no longer plays with, so she can make room for incoming new things. I’ve also started having her participate in writing thank you notes. (My mom used to withhold my gifts until I had completed my thank you notes, and I’ll probably start doing this with Kate in a year or two). I also like getting new ideas for toys and games from other parents sharing what their kids enjoy. Additionally, when we’ve need to buy a gift for someone’s party, I’ll have Kate help with the shopping and wrapping, as I explain how we give gifts when it’s someone’s birthday. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Then there is the issue of reciprocity. There is a brilliant episode of The Big Bang Theory where Penny informs Sheldon that she has a Christmas present for him. He is resentful, as now he has to get something for her. “You’ve not given me a gift, you’ve given me an obligation!” His plan was to get a bunch of Bath and Bodyworks gift baskets of differing values, determine how much her gift cost, give her the basket that corresponds to that amount and return the rest. When Penny’s gift turns out to be a napkin used by Leonard Nimoy; Sheldon brings out all his gift baskets to give to Penny, although he admits “It’s not enough!” If Kate is invited to a kid’s party, are we obligated to return an invitation? Does the same thing follow with gifts? For Kate’s party last year, I really wanted to write on the invitation ‘no gifts if you’re a no gifts mom’. Instead I came up with ‘gifts appreciated, but not expected’. I found that we received gifts from most, but not all guests. I also notices that some of the simplest gifts (sidewalk chalk, WaterWOW books) were some of the biggest hits. (Interestingly, one of the moms who did not bring a gift to Kate’s party, used my phrasing on the invite for her child’s party) </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">My good friend Amy, is a no gifts mom, so I might ask her why she is a no gifts mom and get some of her thoughts, but I’d also love to hear from you. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">*I started (but never finished) a post about the mess at this person’s house. The grass in the front yard wasn’t cut, but there was a weed whacked lying on the ground. I don’t know if their model is as easy as ours for a kid to use. They had a small playhouse that had slats and shingles falling off. It was hazardous. Kate and I ventured inside to go to the bathroom and we encountered a very dusty treadmill in the front hall, that obviously hadn’t been used in sometime, but there was a turquoise bra on the floor, which I imagine was left during the last use. The kitchen looked like it had been renovated recently, not that you could tell as every inch of the counter was covered in some kind of junk. I took a peek on their outside deck and saw their charcoal grill was right next to the kids water table and there were ash flakes in the water table, because who doesn’t want their kids to play with carcinogenic materials? I was trying to describe this mess to Myrtle by referencing the episode of Friends where Ross dates a messy woman, but after seeing that episode recently, I have to say this place was worse. Anyway, the gist of my post was going to be -is a messy house a dealbreaker for a play date? </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-76041761583464160912019-04-27T05:38:00.000-07:002019-04-27T05:38:14.369-07:00Kate 3.75<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">OMG, I just read my post when Kate was 3.25 and wow, have things changed. She is so MUCH better behaved now. I feel she is out of the ‘Threeranosauraus Rex’ stage but is still and ‘threenager’ Sometimes little things will set her off, like when he have lights on in the kitchen. It is a bit easier to get her out of her meltdowns and we’ve had fewer time-outs. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Most of the time, she is a sweet little girl and I wish I could keep her at this age, where she has to give me a hug and kiss every time I leave the house and wants to snuggle with me at night. Then she wants me to help her wipe her butt and I’m ready to let her grow up a little.</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Height: 41 inches </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Weight: 41.5 lbs</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Likes: She still put her hand down my shirt and feels me up when she drinks her milk, although now she explains that she is ‘checking for tigers’ because for some reason, there might be some tigers under my shirt (it’s always tigers too, no other animals). Occasionally she find one and she’ll emerge with a closed fist and announce that she has to throw the tiger in the garbage, as apparently that is what one does with shirt tigers. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Also likes announcing when she’s farted (even when it’s obvious). Especially in awkward places, such as a full elevator or the car.</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Eating: Still has the worst table behavior ever. Won’t sit still, stalls and stalls. Refuses to eat any veggies. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Potty Training: If there ever, ever was any thought of us having another kid, the thought of going through potty training again stops any thought dead in it’s tracks. I know what you’re thinking; Jane didn’t you start potty training two years ago? I KNOW. Kate grasped the concept quite easily and could make it to the potty most of the time, with the occasional accident (fortunately, no poop accidents. I do consider myself lucky in that regard). The trouble is that she often leaves it to the last minute and with wet her pants a little bit en route to the potty. The end result is the same as if she had a total accident. There is a little baggie of wet clothes tied to her lunch box when I pick her up. Then we came to President’s Day. As we both had the day off, I was probably too overzealous and booked us two playground play dates and she had two total accidents at each playground for a total of 4 soaking wet pants in one day. Both playgrounds have nice, accessible bathroom facilities, so there is no excuse. In fact one time, I could see her squirming and knew she needed to pee, but she refused to go. We abruptly left the play date after I saw a wet patch on her pants minute later and on the way home we had a conversation on how her apathy over her incontinence was unacceptable and I threatened that there would be no play dates until she started staying dry. I decided that it was time to introduce some consequences. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">The no play dates rule was tough as we had already RSVP’d to some birthday parties and well as a post race brunch where I had volunteered to help. I also have to confess that the play dates are also important for me as well in order to build social contacts with other moms. So far we managed to stay dry through three events just by threatening to leave if she wets her pants. We also took away watching her two shows in the evening if she wets during the day, which initially was harder for us, as I was reliant on the TV to keep her occupied while I made dinner or put the garbage and recycling bins out. I figured it would either get her to stay dry or wean her off TV and it’s done more of the latter than the former. While she likes watching her shows, she’s also equally content to play on her own, so I think I have to find something else to withhold. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">And then there is the issue of night time training… After we seemed to be on the right track in October, she had a complete regression in early November to the point of wetting three to four times per night. I was doing laundry daily and was exhausted. We took what was supposed to be a two week break with plans to get back at it during the long Thanksgiving break, but I soon discovered how wonderful it is to have uninterrupted sleep, and decided to delay until after my the Christmas holidays. Then after the trip to England/Ireland. Then after we visit my parents for Spring break. Now there’s no more excuses. I purchased Jamie Glow.acki’s night time training supplement for $17 and feel that I received more value of her experience when I was waiting in the ER and read her entitle blog from first post to last. Of course at thing time, we had just started training, things were going well and as Kate was not yet 2 she was considered to be ahead of the curve and now that’s she’s nearly 4, I’m feeling a bit shamed. She described that bladder capability varies wides, some 16 months old can old their pee all night long while three year olds can struggle. She loudly encourages her reader not to compare their child to anyone else’s. She goes on to describe that if you child is under 3, you have some wiggle room, but if by 36 months they are not showing any signs of being about to hold it at night and the diapers are still soaked, you need to get on night training ASAP, because as the bladder walls thicken it can head to a higher chance of bedwetting down the road. So if I’m not already feeling like a fraud and a failure, I basically read this as I fucked up for taking such a long break. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">I was hoping her supplement could come up with some new suggestions or strategy to try, it was not helpful at all. So we’ll be back trying the same things. Limit fluids before bed. Insist on going potty before bed. Waking up for the dream pees every two hours. We tried a few times before we left for South Carolina and she only wet once, which I’m considering is not bad for a start. I feel as if every time I buy a box of pull-ups from Costco, I say this is going to be the last one. I just bought a box and not only do I hope it is the last one, I hope I am going to be able to give away unused pull-ups! </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Sleep: While we were in England and she was dealing with jet lag , we found that if we let her sleep a bit later, we could get her through the day and put her to bed at her usual time. Yet, as she adjusted to the time difference, we found that she still gets really grizzly during the middle of the day and needs her nap. As we’ve gone back to giving her a bath at night, I’ve noticed that we’ve been stretching our her bedtime at night. I admit it’s mostly my fault as I find I can get a lot of things done while she is in the tub. I’ve tried to be more rigid, but I find that we’re usually wrapping up stories after <a dir="ltr" href="x-apple-data-detectors://1" x-apple-data-detectors-result="1" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors="true">9 PM</a>, which I know is too late. One of Jamie Glow.acki’s other tips for nighttime dryness is to make sure kids get regular and consistent sleeping intervals and she notes that toddlers should be in bed by 7 and no kid under six should go to bed before 8, unless there are special circumstances. Um, I pick Kate up from school <a dir="ltr" href="x-apple-data-detectors://2" x-apple-data-detectors-result="2" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors="true">at 5:50</a> and we’re home between <a dir="ltr" href="x-apple-data-detectors://3" x-apple-data-detectors-result="3" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors="true">6:15-6:30</a> depending on the traffic, so sure we can cram in dinner, bath, stories and bed in thirty minutes. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">I was speaking with another Mom at Kate’s school and her comment about those bed times is that they are not realistic in the Bay Area, which was really reassuring to hear. She also noted that her son (who just turned 4 last month) doesn’t nap at home, but the school requires him to nap, which means he doesn’t fall asleep until nearly <a dir="ltr" href="x-apple-data-detectors://4" x-apple-data-detectors-result="4" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors="true">10:30</a>. It did give me pause to question that she might go to bed earlier when she stops her naps, and there may be a silver lining to losing her nap time. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Life Skills: I had been trying to curb the Gimmies to prepping her that we would not be buying any things from Tar.get or informing her that she could only get on treat at the Farmer’s Market, but after she was watching a recent episode of UmiZoomi! I decided to take a different approach. We started having her do some chores around the house and she can earn UmiDollars (felt money that I picked up at Tar.get). Then when we go out, we discuss how she wants to spend her money. Does she want to get a balloon animal at the Farmer’s Market or wait to get something at Tar.get? (I tried to emphasize that the balloon will only last so long, while something at Tar.get will last longer, until she bought a small recorder which quickly became ‘lost’) We’ve also been discussing if she wants to spend her money on little things, or save it up for something big. Overall, it’s been going well, except she can’t figure out the concept that a single note can have a higher value. While she accepts that 5 plus 1 is 6, she can’t accept that a 5 dollar bill is the same as 5 singles. Hence, I have to carry a big stack of single UmiDollars in my purse. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Yet, speaking of giving into the Gimmies. I recently wrote how Kate wanted a make-up case from Tar.get and I relented and it ended entertaining her all afternoon as she pretended it was a suitcase and she packed it to take an overnight trip from her bedroom to the kitchen. When we were getting ready to visit my parents and we got our suitcases down from the attic, she found her ‘suitcase’ and put it right next to ours. I was just going to slip it back into her closet, but as we were loading the car, I discovered that she actually packed a pair of pajamas, her toothbrush and a toy. We decided to bring it as her carry-on.</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">She has also started picking our her own clothes and dressing herself in the morning.</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Manners: I noticed that while Husband and I often have to prompt her to say please and thank-you, she displays her best etiquette around others. She had dinner with my aunt and uncle while Husband was away and I had a work meeting and they commented on her manners. She scored a free kids snack pack on the plane as the steward was impressed with how polite she was. She even says “Excuse me Tyler” if she crosses the cat while running to the potty. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Health Issues: Back in February, we hired a baby sitter and went out to a show with another couple on a <a dir="ltr" href="x-apple-data-detectors://6" x-apple-data-detectors-result="6" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors="true">Sunday night</a>. When we returned, the baby sitter reported that Kate went to bed no problem. Really? I asked. She didn’t push for more stores or any of her usual stall tactics or other semantics to stay up later? I placed the thermoscan thermometer on her forehead and it immediately lit up red. On the second day with a fever, I took her the doctors and received the diagnosis of influenza B. Cue guilt for not taking her in to get a flu shot. The odd thing was, is that she was almost immediately better after we left the appointment. It was as if the nasal swab removed the virus. We kept her home one more day as it seemed prudent to do after receiving a diagnosis for the flu, but she was afebrile and back to normal and absolutely bouncing off the walls. Our pediatrician later told me that this year’s flu shot was ineffective against influenza B. Absolve guilt over not getting the flu shot.</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">She is still having a tough time with eczema, which I was kind of hoping she would grow out of it at this point in time. Eczema is like playing Whack-a-mole at a carnival. You get one patch under control and another one pop us. I’m going to try to switch her over to almond milk to see if that makes a difference. Especially as she won’t let me put any ointment on and I keep forgetting to sneak into her room and apply it while she’s sleeping. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Activities: We have her enrolled in Spanish classes and soccer through her school. I was doubtful if she was getting anything out of the Spanish classes, but I received a note from her teacher that said she actually is doing well and loves to practice her Spanish during the day. I guess it’s like manners, she just doesn’t want to practice with me. We’ve been much more consistent about going to gymnastics on Saturdays. I was starting to feel bummed about the fact that she’ll be moving on to the four year old class soon and leaving our favorite instructor, but we just learned that he’s leaving the gym at the same time. She’s also doing well with her swimming lessons and is on track to move on to the next level soon. It’s the one thing that I really miss about her old pre-school is that she was able to take swim lessons twice a week (and I didn’t have to budget any extra time). I feel she’d be ahead with her swimming if she was still on the twice weekly schedule. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Looking forward to: I had been looking forward to going to Myrtle Beach to visit my parents and we’re four days in and the trip has lived up to the hype! Although we just had a major vacation three months ago, I was ready for a break from our usual routine and I love seeing my parents with Kate. I feel that she is fulfilling and possible exceeding every thing they wished for in their desire to be grandparents. We’ve had a great time meeting their friends and enjoying the amenities of their retirement community (we even played BINGO!) We’ve been to the beach and many playgrounds. Husband and I even found a CrossFit box where we could drop-in. He initially wasn’t too keen on this trip and vowed it would be his only visit, but after a few days, he admitted that the area was growing on him and he even started talking about staying longer when we come back next year! </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">I’m also looking forward to two girls weekend trips. In June, Co-worker and I are going to a medical education event, that happens to be hosted at a Spa in Monterey. In July, Myrtle and I are meeting up with a mutual friend who lives in Chicago, as we figured it was easiest to meet up in the middle of the country. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">I’ve got to get my act together with Kate’s Forhth Birthday party. I’m really slacking as for the past three years, I had my theme decided, items picked out and the venue booked. I decided to do another picnic in a park, but selected a park that is in the same city as her school as we’ll be invited more friends from her new school. Kate’s request for a theme changes from week to week. Sometimes it’s Unicorns, then Paw Patrol, maybe PJ Masks and most recently Hello Kitty. Maybe there is a benefit to my procrastination. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span>jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-91346645624381491972019-03-14T21:37:00.000-07:002019-03-14T21:37:00.656-07:00A Day in the Life Winter 2019<div style="text-align: center;">
A Day in the Life</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
March 5, 2019</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Husband 44</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Jane 42</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Tyler 5</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Kate 3.5</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0142 Tyler is incessantly meowing</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0143 You’re probably thinking ‘you’re still dealing with that cat meowing at night?’</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0147 Meow! Me-OW! MEOW! Yes. I am</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0148 You’re likely thinking ‘why does she put up with that ?’</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0150 I scoop Tyler up in my arms and he snuggles his head against my shoulder and purrs</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0151 That’s why</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0153 I bring Tyler into the kitchen and give him a few drops of Kitty Medical Marijuana </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0157 He follows me back to my room and jumps on my bed</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0159 I think we both fall asleep</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0343 Tyler is meowing</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0345 Again</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0350 Get out of bed and go to the kitchen. His food bowl is empty. Kitty Munchies are a real thing.</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0455 Husband’s alarm goes off. He needs to catch a flight to San Diego</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0500 Although he’s usually very conservative with electricity; for some reason when Husband gets up before me, he has to turn every single light on our room and the bathroom on</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0545 Apparently I feel back to sleep quickly as Husband wakes me to say good bye</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0605 Kate wakes up and climbs into my bed</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0607 She asks for some milk</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0609 I grab a cup from the fridge as I want her to go back to sleep quickly</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0645 My alarm goes off. I was planning to get up to foam roll</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0646 I don’t feel like getting out of bed</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0649 Tyler jumps on the bed and snuggles next to me. Now I can’t get up</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0700 My alarm goes off again. I check my phone before waking up Kate</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0705 Kate wakes up. I agree to let her watch one show before we get in the shower</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0720 I ask Kate to turn off the TV and she obliges. We head to she shower and she undresses as I am adjusting the water. I am a bit surprised with how cooperative she is being </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0723 While in the shower she starts working on the knots in her hair. Her hair has tangled into a small rat’s nest. I coat it with some deep conditioner </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0730 We get out of the shower and head to the kitchen. Kate has decided to play ‘cafeteria’ and has started moving chairs around in the kitchen </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0735 I finish washing dishes left in the sink from last night and clear the drying rack</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0737 Kate is still playing her cafeteria game. I open a Danimals yogurt and tell her that Dazzle from Butterbean’s café made her a Smoothie </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0740 I make my breakfast and sit down to eat. To my surprise, Kate has finished her yoghurt while she’s pushed all the chairs into an aisle</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0743 Continuing with Butterbean’s Café theme, I ask her to deliver a Cat Food Salad to the customer Mr Tyler and she does it. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0745 Dump my breakfast dishes in the sink and pop a Zicam. I’m on day 10 of a cold. I bragged that I didn’t get the flu after Kate was diagnosed, but a week long cough is not much better</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0750 Give Kate the ten minute warning before it’s time to get dressed</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0805 I got distracted by a Whats App Group chat with my Cross Fit team</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0807 Start to do “spinny thing” to work out the knots it Kate’s hair, it’s not enough, we’re going to need a brush</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0808 I try to sneak a brush, but she sees it and runs</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0809 I chase her and attempt to brush her hair as she screams. Feel horrible</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0817 Dressed and ready to go. Nearly on time. Kate has a stuffed dog under her dress and is telling me that she has a baby in her tummy. She also informs me that I am to congratulate her. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0818 Kate wants to wear a pair of shoes that are too small; convince her to wear a different pair </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0819 Buckle Kate in her car seat. We have to deliver her ‘baby’. I wrap the dog in a blanket that we keep in the car and hand him to her. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0820 Fuck. I can’t find my keys.</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0821 As I search the back seat, Kate tells me that my keys on the floor</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0822 I find them where we keep shoes. Pissed that we’ve lost a few minutes when we were on time</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0835 It’s raining and other drivers are acting like it’s K-Y. Traffic is backing up as I am getting closer to Kate’s school.</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0836 Decide to be an asshole and get off the next exit just so I can get back on the highway. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0843 Traffic is still moving slowly as we make it to school</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0855 Finished an easy drop off, but I’m going to be late to the gym due to this traffic </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0912 Arrive at the gym and sign in for Independent Program, which suits me as I want to do yesterday’s work-out rather than today’s</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0947 Complete my work-out. It was 21-15-9 of bar facing burpees and over head squats (30 kg) I was hoping to do more sets of the OHS unbroken, but went <a dir="ltr" href="x-apple-data-detectors://2" x-apple-data-detectors-result="2" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors="true">12/9</a> and <a dir="ltr" href="x-apple-data-detectors://3" x-apple-data-detectors-result="3" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors="true">10/5</a> but did 9 unbroken </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">0955 Finish stretching and using the foam roller </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1024 Hit Safe.way on my way home as I forgot to pick up fruit to take for Kate’s school snack while I was shopping this weekend</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1028 Pick up sliced apples as I can’t be bothered to cut up fruit. #lazymom</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1029 I spend almost three hours each weekend doing meal prep for me and Kate #bittermom</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1033 Stop to get gas as it’s a nightmare to fill up with Kate as she wants to get out of the car</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1040 Arrive at home. It’s the first time in a long while since I’ve been alone in my house. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1043 Bring in the laundry from the garage. It’s raining and the garage is damp</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1045 Dump the clothes on my bed. Really tempted just to leave them there and deal with it later, but decide to put them away now </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1050 Return to the kitchen to clean the breakfast dishes I left in the sink</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1055 Make a cup of coffee</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1057 Cook chicken to take for lunch</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1100 While chicken is cooking; prep green beans for tonight’s dinner </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1115 Finish a few emails, pack up the chicken and the rest of my lunch. Make my protein shake and T.ang for my “work out carbs” I haven’t had T.ang since I was a kid</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1130 Change into my swimsuit and pack my work clothes into my swim bag</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1135 Pour my untouched coffee into a travel mug and leave for the pool</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1201 Arrive for the noon swim class. The coach lets me swim in a lane with a beginner swimmer, so my out of shape swimming self gets to feel like a rock star</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1210 Take a sip of my T.ang. Much different that I remember as a kid as I used the correct ratio of powder to water </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1245 Time to get out so I can get cleaned up for work</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1250 During the winter break, someone changed the outdoor shower so you have to hold the button down to produce water, which means you have to shower with one hand. It’s essentially taking a dry shower so you can use both your hands and then when you turn the water on -it’s fucking cold! I used to love this shower -it was the best shower in the world! Now it fucking sucks! </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1257 The water is finally warm. I soak it in</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1300 Drying off. There is a strange guy doing jumping jacks on the deck</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1301 I’m pretty good at doing a deck change, but don’t quite feel comfortable changing near jumping jacks guy, so I change in the storage shed. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1310 Throw my swim bag in the boot of my car. Fuck. I just realized that I forgot Kate’s swim stuff </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1333 Walk into work. I’m a few minutes late. Hit the bathroom to comb my hair into a bun. Probably not too professional to have wet hair, but I need to get my yards in</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1334-1640 Two of my patients who are seeing me for a two week follow up ask me if I am feeling better. I realize that I must have seemed really sick last time and this cold is lasting a fucking long time.</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1728 Leave the office to go pick up Kate</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1735 It’s time for Chris Jackson’s Mystery Riff on my radio station. It’s “Paint it Black” by The Rolling Stones. These are really obvious or impossible </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1745 It was right about the Mystery Riff</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1747 Sign Kate out. I made it before the 1750 deadline </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1750 Gather Kate’s stuff and get her ready to go</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1755 Buckle Kate in the car. She immediately wants to listen to “number 2” referring to the second song on the Adele 25 CD</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1759 I make her listen to “Hello” before we listen to “number 2” (“Send my love to your new lover”) because I should also get to listen to the song I want to her as well. I’m trying to emphasize that it’s not all about her</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1808 She’s asking for “number 2” again. I put it on repeat because now I don’t give a shit</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1820 Arrive at home to pick up Kate’s swim stuff. Try to bribe her with a snack so I can run into the house quickly </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1821 It doesn’t work, she’s insisting to go in with me. I send her to get her swim bag, while I grab my book.Ironically, it’s The Difficult Child. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1830 Arrive at the pool just as the swim classes are getting started, quickly change Kate into her swim gear and discover that I forgot to pack her crocks. Mom Fail #1</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1835 Reading the introduction to The Difficult Child. They have a do you have a difficult child? Quiz. I think I’ll do it with Husband so I can get his input</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1840 Read the descriptions at the end of the quiz, I’m thinking Kate may be ‘Easy with Difficult Features’ or maybe I’m thinking wishfully </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1850 This book also has a chapter of tales of parents with really difficult kids. I’m feeling a little better after reading this section, which maybe is the purpose of the book </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1900 Class has finished. Kate runs out of the pool and I discover that I forgot to pack a towel Mom Fail#2</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1901 Just take off her wet swim stuff and dress her in her sweats. Fortunately, we have a quick drive home.</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1903. Kate never wants to wear a jacket in her car seat and now is no exception. She takes her jacket off and buckles herself in shirtless. I unswaddle her doggie from this morning and put the blanket over her</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1910 Arrive at home. Get my wet swim stuff out of the boot and strip Kate down. Quickly run her under a warm shower and after toweling her off, I send her to her room to get dressed in jammies</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1915 Ugh. Husband didn’t empty the dryer when he did the laundry on Sunday.</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1916 Throw all the dry clothes on my bed. This time I really will deal with them later</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1920 Kate successfully dressed herself</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1922 Put Bubble Guppies on her Kate as I prepare dinner and try to wash up her lunch stuff. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1925 I make her a grilled cheese and slip a piece of ham inside. Then we use a flower shaped cookie cutter because she’ll eat things that have interesting shapes.</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1927 I make another sandwich for <a dir="ltr" href="x-apple-data-detectors://7" x-apple-data-detectors-result="7" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors="true">tomorrow</a>’s lunch</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1930 Make my dinner. It’s cooked ground turkey with the green beans I cut up earlier today and a black bean sauce </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1940 Sit down to eat with Kate. Surprisingly she doesn’t protest when I turn off the TV. She wants to eat the other grilled cheese sandwich, so now I need to think of a new idea for her lunch</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1955 Work on cleaning up dinner dishes while trying to pack Kate’s lunch for <a dir="ltr" href="x-apple-data-detectors://9" x-apple-data-detectors-result="9" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors="true">tomorrow</a></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2005 She tells me that she wants to go to bed. I still have more work to do, but I’m not going to miss the cue that she’s ready for bed</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2007 Except Tyler reminds me that I haven’t fed him yet </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2010 Meet Kate in the bathroom. I recently bought her a new Paw Patrol toothbrush, but she doesn’t want to give up her old Shimmer and Shine toothbrush, so we’re having issues over which toothbrush to use. I am regretting getting this new toothbrush </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2015 As I’m getting out her night time pull up, Kate informs me that she needs to take her jammies to the wash as there is pee on them</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2016 I check. There is a wet spot</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2017 We have a conversation about why she peed her pants. Kate tell me that her brain forgot to tell her that it was time to go potty. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2019 Discuss how she needs to pay more attention to her brain</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2020 She picks out books to read. Naturally she goes to the ones with sound, which are usually too overstimulating. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2025 As we sit down on the mattress next to her bed to read stories, I feel a small wet patch on her bed</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2026 It’s time to play Why? Is? This? WET? </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2027 I decided to pretend it’s from her water bottle and ignore that she just wet her pants</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2045 Inform Kate that it is time for lights out. She has developed a routine where she turns out her lights, turns on the night light and runs into bed</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2050 Kate is asking for milk</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2051 I inform her that she can’t have milk because she peed her pants. We are enforcing that there are consequences for wetting her pants</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2055 She starts to whine and cry</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2056 I put in my headphones and listen to some WODprep videos </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2103 Tyler opens the door and enter her room. She’s distracted long enough to stop crying and ask me to close the door</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2110 Now she wants to give me another hug and kiss</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2115 She asks “What are we going to do <a dir="ltr" href="x-apple-data-detectors://10" x-apple-data-detectors-result="10" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors="true">tomorrow</a>?”</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2116 I go back to listening to my videos</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2125 I think she’s drifted off</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2135 Wanted to give her a little more time and got caught up reading an article</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2140 Head back to the kitchen to finish washing the dinner dishes, packing my lunch and Kate’s. Prepare my protein powder and Tang for <a dir="ltr" href="x-apple-data-detectors://11" x-apple-data-detectors-result="11" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors="true">tomorrow</a>. Top up Tyler’s water bowl and dry food. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2159 Eat a few mini-chocolate chips before brushing my teeth and washing my face</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2205 Take my swim stuff out of the dryer and leave Kate’s stuff on top of the dryer. Go out to the garage to pack my swim stuff into my bag and load my car for <a dir="ltr" href="x-apple-data-detectors://12" x-apple-data-detectors-result="12" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors="true">tomorrow</a>.</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2207 Clean cat box</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2210 Finally make it into bed</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2211 Fuck! I forgot about the stuff I threw on the bed earlier</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2212 Put away my clothes and husbands and place Kate’s stuff and the towels back on top of the dryer for Husband to deal with *</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2214 Think about foam rolling</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2215 Decide that I can’t be bothered</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2217 Now Tyler is sitting on my lap. I obviously can’t get up now.</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2216 Watch ‘This is Us’ as I’m still an episode behind and start writing notes for this post</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2235 Husband arrives home and starts telling me about his day</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2240 I feel that I’m being rude if I pause the TV, but he is talking during a good part</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2245 Fortunately, it has captured his attention and he’s watching too</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2247 Now he’s asking me to catch him up on the while episode</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">~2300 Fall asleep on the end of ‘This Is Us’ (will look up online the next morning to see what I missed)</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Husband dealing with the laundry on the dryer was him shoving the towels into the linen closet and dumping Kate’s clothes on to the chair in her room. Real helpful. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Sent from</span></div>
jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-15358515514459434372019-02-12T21:13:00.000-08:002019-02-12T21:13:43.444-08:00Maybe our parents had it right <span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">It had been a trying weekend. Husband and I often found ourselves admonishing Kate, and then cringing inside as we realized “OMG, I sound just like my mother!” So when I was scrolling through my face.book feed later that night, my eye was drawn to an <a href="https://www.mother.ly/child/20-phrases-to-use-when-your-child-isnt-listening" target="_blank">article</a> 20 Useful phrases to Use When your Child isn’t Listening. The author begins:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">I replaced my judgmental, negative, threatening tone with a neutral, problem solving, empathetic, encouraging one, and my little girl's behavior improved dramatically. The lesson was clear for me. Talk to mini-humans the way you'd like to be talked to and things will go a lot smoother. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">I was immediately intrigued. I’d love to see Kate’s behavior improve dramatically and have a much smoother process. Added bonus if I don’t sound like my mother! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">As I started to read, I found that most of her suggestions made sense and I could see myself adopting them. For example:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">1.What do you need to remember?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Take a break from: "Be careful."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">I had heard this suggestion somewhere else. “Be careful” is just too vague. Be specific about their actions or explain the consequences of doing something that they shouldn’t. Got it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">2. Please talk softly."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Take a break from: "Stop yelling!" or "Be Quiet!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">A more positive tone. Makes sense. Also follows saying “Please do ___________” rather than “Don’t do this!” So far I’m following with you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Then I started to deviate a bit..</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Let's add that toy you want to your birthday list."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Take a break from: "We can't afford that" or "No, I said NO TOYS!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Example: "I am not willing to buy that, would you like me to put it on your birthday wish list?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Her explanation; If we're being honest, we often CAN afford the $5 lego at checkout, we're just not willing to purchase it. But then we buy a $5 almond milk latte from Starbucks. Instead of blaming our finances and creating feelings of scarcity, own your limit, then offer ideas to help them learn how to get it (birthday, earning money, etc.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">I feel that we should teach our kids there are limits and they should know that they are not going to get every item they want. Saying you’ll add it to the birthday list, isn’t saying ‘no’. You’re really hoping your kid is going to forget about it, but you could be setting up unrealistic expectations for a very long birthday list. Another parenting blog had a suggestion to have the discussion before you get to Tar.get and explain that you will not be buying any toys from Bullseye’s playground, so you avoid the tantrum in the store. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">This is going to counter my point; but I have to admit you never know when you give into buying an item and it turns out to be really useful. After having our talk ahead of time, Kate didn’t protest when we went past Bullseye’s playground, but then she spotted a small plastic case in the make up aisle that she just had to have. It decided to buy it as it was on clearance. That afternoon, she pretended it was her suitcase. She packed it herself with a pair of jammies and a tooth brush. Took a plane ride from her room to the kitchen, then changed into her jammies as she was an overnight guest. An afternoon of self entertainment for only $4.99, but I am digressing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Here is where she lost me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Do you want to leave now or in ten minutes?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Take a break from: "Time to go…now!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Example: "Do you guys wanna leave now or play for ten more minutes, then leave?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Her rationale: “ Kids love to be in charge of their own destiny, especially power kids! This takes a tad bit of proactivity, but it works like a charm! Give them a choice & they'll respond much better when you say "Okay, 10 minutes is up, time to go."”</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Pausing for a moment to get to my main objection to this suggestion. I feel the notion of giving kids choices works only in theory. Yes, it works on Husbands. You’re choosing tile to update the backslash in your kitchen. You find two designs that you like and present him with the choice between the two. Ultimately, you get a design you like and he feels like he was involved in the decision process. Win-win. Yet for kids, the decision process is an opportunity to make things more complicated. I used to give Kate options for picking her clothes (sometimes presenting it as a choice between ‘freakin A or frecking B’) and she would reject both choices and try to pick something for herself. We had to stop using the expensive ‘dinner winner’ maze plates as it was an ordeal just to have her select a plate before we even entered the disaster zone known as meal time. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Firstly, what kid is not going to go for the option of playing for ten more minutes and we know what follows from there. Ten minutes turns into twenty… More so, what if you need to leave now and you don’t have ten minutes to spare? It feels like you’re venturing into letting the kids make their own rules. Call me old fashion, but I think the parents should make the rules and the kids should know that the parents make the rules and that they need to follow those rules. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">She had one more suggestion about getting ready to leave the house.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">We are on cheetah time today and need to move fast!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Take a break from: "Hurry Up!" or "We are going to be late!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Example: "We're on racehorse time today! Let's see how fast we can move!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">So I tried this with Kate one morning, explaining that cheetahs are among the fastest animals, so we needed to move fast like cheetahs. Kate responded “I’m a baby cheetah, so baby cheetahs move slow.” I had to concede that yes, baby cheetahs probably do not move as fast as adult cheetahs. It was a fail. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">I think when I was 6 or 7, I was stalling getting ready for school one morning and my Dad yelled, “Get your ass in the car now!” There was no ambiguity. No choices. No discussion about animal speed. I knew I was in trouble because my Dad used the word ass, and I knew that if I didn’t get my ass in gear, there would be big trouble. The next morning I made sure I was on time. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">So maybe our parents had it right after all. Obviously, we all turned out okay. Now when I hear myself sounding like my mother, instead of cringing, I’ll take it as a sign that I’m doing something right. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span>jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-63029599334718641192019-02-06T21:31:00.003-08:002019-02-06T21:31:26.463-08:002018 Goals <br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">1. Following Flexible Eating and continued weight loss</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Mixed. I did lose three pounds, but 1.5 was fat and 1.5 was muscle and I was told that I am probably not eating enough calories, so I am still trying to figure out what is the right balance. Our gym held a competition where members paid $10 to do a weigh in before Thanksgiving, those who maintained or lost weight get their money back and split the rest from those who gained. I was just a pound over my starting weight, so I lost (by not losing). It’s frustrating as I felt that I did eat sensibly and squeezed in extra work-outs during the holidays, but I’m going to set as a new goal for 2019: not to be so obsessed with the scale. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2. Cross-Fit </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Success! In 2017 I kept a sticker chart to track how often I go to the gym or to swim practice. Last year I made it to the gym 78 times. This year, I did 126 work-outs. What helped achieve that total is that I adopted a “no excuses” approach. From analyzing my 2017 sticker chart, I saw how easy it is for life to keep you from the gym (work events, sick kid, Husband’s away for work or hockey) so I only gave myself 5 passes when I missed because I just didn’t feel like it going. I managed to keep it only to 5 and it included my illness, returning from a trip, the two time changes and an England match in the World Cup quarter finals. I also purchased a 20 inch box, a kettlebell and a pair of 35 lbs dumbbells so I can do work-outs at home while Chris is away. No excuses.</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Skills: I got Chest to Bar (Kipping) and I’ve been hitting a lot of PRs with my lifts. I competed in the Cross Fit Open and did one more competition </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"> Targets for 2019</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"> Hand stand push-ups</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"> Rope Climbs</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"> CrossFit Open and 1-2 more competitions</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"> Working more on lifting technique </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">3. Sending cards for birthdays</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Success! I may have missed one or two, but I received a lot of follow up that friends really appreciate snail mail cards. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">4. Keep up with Kate’s Share Days</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">I did well in the beginning of the year, then completely fell off. However, we’re required to being in snack once a month at her new school and I’ve been good about keeping up with it. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">5. Adjust to my new role in a leadership position </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Mixed to fail. I don’t want to go into any specific details, but there was a difficult situation at the end of the year and my weakness as a leader was truly exposed. My position ended up being eliminated due to another leadership reorganization and I was relieved as I probably would have resigned. I don’t want to give myself a total fail as I feel I did some things well and I came up with a few good ideas. I’ve been thinking back to when I was a Junior in High School and I was denied admission to the National Honor Society due to lack of leadership activities. My school administrators knew it back then. I’m not a natural leader. I was devastated as a 17 year old who was convinced that no good college would accept her and I wouldn’t get to wear the gold cords at graduation. As a 42 year old I accept that I have other skills and good qualities. Being in a leadership position is not one. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">6. Send my In-laws photos on a monthly basis</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Success until April; then total fail. I have no excuses, just apathy. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">7. Run some 5K races with Kate</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Success! We did (6) 5 Ks and I ran (2) 10Ks on my own. Kate ran the first mile of our Thanksgiving day race on her own and Husband ran the New Year Day’s race and placed third in his age group! </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">8. More FaceTime with Husband</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Getting better. We lost our monthly date night when we switched Kate to her new Pre-School, but we managed to go out twice while my parents were in town for Christmas and we’ve already lined up a babysitter for Valentine’s Day. Husband has been getting back to the gym and his recent third place finish is encouraging him to do some more runs, so we’re spending more family time together. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">9. Swim Times</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">I had a surprise PR in the 50 Free early in the season, but was really disappointed with how I did at our Spring meet. I was happier with how I did in our Autumn meet, which included competing in the 200 Fly. My biggest challenge with swimming has been consistency. I took a few days off after our Spring meet, then Husband had a work trip, Kate started waking up multiple times a night, we went to Hawaii and suddenly I missed 6 weeks of swimming. Then we lost days in November due to the poor air quality from the Camp Fires. We only had a few days back before the pool’s heaters broken down in December and at press time, still have not been repaired. I’m not going to put too much pressure on myself to PR at our April meet given I’ll only have had a few months of training leading in</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"> Targets for 2019</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"> Avoiding any long and unnecessary breaks</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"> Completing 7 events in the SCY and SCM Championships (No scratches and no DQs)</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"> Doing 200 Fly in both meets</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"> Brute Squad challenge (missed this year due to pool closure)</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"> PR 400 Kick for Time (also missed due to pool closure)</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">10. Parenting</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Mix of Successes and Fails. I was really hoping to be completely potty trained by the end of the year. I bought a box of Night-time pull-ups in May, hoping it would be the last box we ever purchased. It wasn’t. By October, I was so fed up with doing laundry every morning that I decided we needed to take a two week break. I picked up a small bag of pull-ups from Safe.way and then decided that it was really nice to sleep at night and not have to get up to do Kate’s dream pee. So the next time I was at Costco, I picked up again what I hope is out last box of pull-ups ever. I decided it would be a good idea to keep her in pull-ups during our visit to her UK grandparents and our stay at a hotel in Ireland as no one would want to deal with wet sheets. We’ll get ready to give it another go when we get back. This will hopefully lead to two other unfulfilled goals of 2018: getting a proper big girl bed for Kate and getting her to fall asleep on her own. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">I had also wanted to be better with discipling Kate and just after her third birthday, I was feeling that it was a major fail. Just in the past few months, she has made such a change for the better and I give a lot of credit to her new Montessori Pre-School. Making the decision to switch her to the new school was one of our major successes for the this year and hopefully beyond. Even during my parents visit, where she previously fell apart due to the extra stimulation, she was much better behaved and even my mother noticed and commented. We still have our battles with getting her to stay seated and eat at the kitchen table. I discovered that I’m not afraid to be a hard-ass. It drives me crazy when she lays across the seat so after she didn’t listen to my warning, I pulled the chair out from under her. She was startled and I’ve threatened to do it again, and she’s been better about sitting. Eating in a reasonable amount of time is still a challenge. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Targets for 2019.</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Continue to limit screen time. Currently, she watches 2 twenty minute shows in the morning and 2 in the evening. Especially if one of us is solo parenting, it keeps her occupied so we can get ready. There are times when we get home from school when she wants me to play with her, but I need to start getting dinner ready. If I can’t get her to play by herself, I’ll offer letting her watch some shows, which I really hate doing, but sometimes you need to get stuff done. As she puts in a 10 hour day at school with the commute, I figured she’s earned some down time with the TV. I still refuse to let her watch anything on my phone when we are out. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">I also want to work on her letters. We have a dry erase board for practicing letter and she does surprisingly well (when she feels like working on them). I know it’s ambitious, but I’d like to gear her toward reading. She has an amazing recall and can practically recite a book after hearing it only one or two times, so I have the feeling that she is keen, although she resists sometimes when I try to show and explain words while we’re doing story time. Mostly my goal is to make sure she’ll be kindergarten ready by the end of the year as (gulp) I can’t believe she’ll be starting Kindergarten next year.</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">2019 is going to be a busy year and I hope it’s a good one! </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-72539376979633588232019-01-16T14:56:00.001-08:002019-01-16T14:56:16.611-08:00Kate 3.5<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Greetings! I’m writing from a Play Café in England. We made it across the Atlantic to visit Husband’s parents. Although I prided myself on getting through our domestic flights without screen time, electing to go old school with coloring books and sticker sets; I tossed that out the window for a long haul 11 hour flight. I have to admit, that even though I used to read Emily Griffin novels on the plane, it was also a good opportunity to get caught up in movies that I usually wouldn’t have a chance to see. Husband used to argue that if you were to factor the cost of going to the cinema, you’re earning $30-40 if you watch a few movies on your flight. I watched Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again! Which was not bad for a sequel, if you can overlook the obvious flaw that all the main actors were about 20 years older than their characters should have been and Cher is essentially the same age as Meryl Streep and she looks much younger than most of the cast, but she was the only one who can sing, so we forgive her.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Anyway, as the last time we flew, I thought some of the kids programs shown on the plane were a bit too old for her, I picked up some Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood and Bubble Guppies! DVDs from our local library and I brought along our old school personal DVD player, which can be used during take-off and landing. The only trouble with that plan is that it was accidentally switched on in Husband’s carry-on bag and the batteries died during the flight. Nonetheless, we arrived at my in-laws and found they had stored the toys we bought during our last trip. They did throw out the toiletries that I had left behind as my MIL thought they had “gone off”. Um, I’m not sure if shampoo has an expiration date, so it does feel like there was an urge to purge anything of mine; but it gave me an excuse to pop out to the shops. Kate fortunately warmed up to her grandparents quickly and gave no protest when I left. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Long term readers may recall my annoyance with my in-laws when they asked about Christmas gifts for Kate and I suggested ordering some distinctively English toys on-line so they would be there for her last visit, but my ILs didn’t want to agree to that and instead we had to make a quick trip to Toys R’Us and ended up with some of the same toys she has at home while my FIL slipped husband some cash in the kitchen as if it were a drug deal. (This year, I refused to purchase and wrap a gift for them so that they could watch her open “their” gift on Face Time, so we asked for money for her swim and soccer lessons) It didn’t make any sense to get any new toys for such a short visit, so I went to a charity consignment shop and picked up a bag of gently used toys for under $20. I also asked my MIL to update her library card so we could get a whole stack of books to read and I would only have to bring a few along. Kate had a weird reaction to the library. She was very disappointed when it wasn’t our home library and she claimed that she didn’t like any of the books. I thought it was just an overtired jet-lag thing (as yes, she threw a tantrum in the library) but every night she would fuss about not liking the new books, until I threatened that there would be no books, turned out the light and left the room and then she ended up enjoying the new books. Anyway, I still thought it was a great idea. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">I was nervous about how Kate would be with my ILs, after recently spending time with my parents who are younger, more active and in much better health. Fortunately she warmed up to them quickly and just seemed to enjoy the new attention on her and she played with them for the first few days of our stay. Husband commented that while my parents are better apt physically to deal with Kate, he thought his parents had more patience on the mental side to deal with her. Yet, even in a few days, I could tell that she was wearing them out and most of the time when the watched her, they spent watching TV. I could also tell that Kate was getting cabin fever and was literally jumping off the sofa in an attempt to bounce off the walls, hence we’re at the play place letting her have a good run around. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Just as there has been a dramatic change in Kate in two years, I see a major decline in my FIL. Last time, he was fixing the shower at the age of 81. Now at 83 he has very limited mobility due to spinal stenosis and Class A or B (I’m guessing) Congestive Heart Failure. I always thought that despite his many health issues, he has enough piss and vinegar to sustain him into his 90s, but now I’m not so sure. I’m projecting 3-5 more years, but who knows? We met with a friend whose father has advanced vascular dementia and he made his peace with losing his father along time ago, but years keep passing and he’s still here. My MIL seems to be doing okay health-wise, but I always felt that despite having more health issues, my FIL would live longer without my MIL than the other way around. As I think about my MIL sitting alone in a dark house drinking tea and watching Australian soaps all day, I suspect she’d die of broken heart syndrome soon after losing him. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">As I’m contemplating if we need to do yearly visits (even it if is for a week, we’ll just suck up the jet-lag and deal with it) it’s reminding me of the final years with my own grandparents, wondering if each visit is going to be the last and wishing I could leave on a good visit, knowing how hard it is to see your loved one in total decline. Which would bring the question, if it would be worth having Kate visit if my FIL is really poorly? My friend whose father has dementia said he hasn’t taken his kids around in years. His father doesn’t recognize them and it’s scary for his kids to see the ‘old man who screams at them’. I feel that while my ILs are still holding their own for now, we really haven’t figured out how we’re going to care for them half way around the world. As I write all of this, I realize I am going to be entering the sandwich generation phase of my life really soon. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">I discovered that I am also entering another phase of my mid-life. Last time we visited, we met up with our friend Leonard and learned of the details of his divorce from Penny. [Penny has since re-married a younger man who is a perfect doppelgänger of Leonard, so it’s not just men who upgrade to a younger model. Although she denies any involvement while she was married to Leonard, as she works in HR, there is much speculation that she wouldn’t quit one job without having another lined up. Leonard also has a new girlfriend that we’ll meet at a wedding this weekend.] Obviously, you never know what is going on in someone’s home, but Leonard and Penny always seemed to be a solid couple, so the news of their split was quite a shock. Prior to leaving for this trip, I learned that our friends Dharma and Greg are now divorced. It was also surprising as they seemed to be a very compatible couple and during our last visit here, they had a 4 month old baby and were celebrating their 9th anniversary by having a date day (they took the day off and did lunch and a matinee movie while the kids were in childcare so they didn’t have to pay a babysitter). I know if Husband and I split, it’s over for me. I’m not putting myself on the dating market. I was wondering how Dharma would manage as a 38 year old divorcee with two kids, but apparently she’s already dating someone. As Husband pointed out “Dharma is really hot”. So I’m at that phase in my life. Friends are now getting divorced and dating again. Okay, let’s move on to talking about Kate. This post is supposed to be about her after all.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Eating: Her table manners are marginally improved since my last post. The other major challenge is that she is such a picky eater. Oh how I miss those days of introducing solids and table food when they seemed so interested that you could spoon just about anything into their mouths. Her dinner diet is mostly meatballs, chicken nuggets, fish sticks or Annie’s Mac and Cheese. It has to be Annie’s. Despite her affection for Paw Patrol, she won’t eat Kra.ft Mac and cheese with their characters. She definitely won’t eat any properly made Mac and Cheese. Very discerning taste; it must be microwaved in a plastic cup with powered cheese only. Sigh. I received a few books on kids lunches for Christmas, so I’m excited to try a few new recipes and hopefully expand her palate. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Potty Training: We had a slight regression during the Christmas break where she would wait too long and pee a little bit into her undies en route to the toilet, which results in needing to change her clothes anyway. I was really fearful about what would happen during our visit in England, but she’s actually been doing really well. I guess it the benefit of an under stimulating environment. Ha-ha. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Sleep: Now longer waking up during the night, but routinely comes into our bed in the morning, which I secretly really love. She’ll usually bring her blanket and a stuffed toy along with her. One morning, she brought her Unicorn (from her Halloween costume) and it was quite amusing to wake up and see Husband sleeping face to face with Unicorn (he woke up before I could snap a picture). She hasn’t adjusted to the time change at all, which I’m hoping is going to mean it’s an easy transition going back. My in-laws did a nice job fixing up a bed for her with a Unicorn duvet cover and they even decorated the walls for her. However, when she tried to come into bed with us in the morning, it was a tight fit for three, so Husband went into her bed. This time I did capture a photo of him sleeping under the Unicorn duvet, which I will keep for some type of vengeful purpose. [insert evil laugh…] </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Likes: She had been really interested in playing store, so that was her theme for her Christmas presents. Myrtle gave her a toy cash register, my parents got her the stand, and ‘Husband’ and I got her a shopping cart, shopping basket and some more play food. She seems to be having fun with it so far. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;">Looking forward to: Getting back to our normal routine. As my parents arrived on the 19th of December and we’ll be getting back on MLK day, I realize it’s been just over a month without being “normal”. So bring back the frantic race to make it out the door to get to school on time, long Tuesdays with swim lessons, going to the gym on the weekends and waffles at the Farmer’s Market. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" />
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstyletallbody"; font-size: 17px;"></span>jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-65976161983366275152019-01-12T02:17:00.003-08:002019-01-12T02:17:47.576-08:00The Santa Dilemma This post was started mid December. I was locked out of my blog for a while!<br />
<br /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">I’m going to sound like the biggest Grinch. I have held conflicted feelings about doing the whole Santa thing with Kate. The first two Christmases were easy. She was five months and then 17 months and was blissfully oblivious. Last year, I just continued to ignore the white bearded man in the red suit. There were a few people who mentioned the ‘S’ word to her, but I don’t think she paid much attention. I sort-of (over) reacted to a few strangers, snapping at them for “presuming we celebrate Christmas” They must have thought I belong to a non-Christian based religion, which does make me question my hypocrisy for exchanging presents in observation of Christmas as an atheist, but my issue really is that they are assuming I let my child believe in Santa when I’m not sure I want her to. [Of course there is the other issue that we don’t quite believe the whole virgin birth baby in the manger thing. My favorite take on it is from <i>Saved</i>! As teenaged Mary becomes pregnant after having sex with her gay boyfriend in order to “cure” him and she wonders if The Mary made it all up. “I mean you have to admit, it’s a good one. No one claimed virgin birth before” She does add “I don’t think she made it up, but I can understand if she did.”</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Here are my issues. It’s lying to her. In general I’m not against lying to your kids when you need to, I’ve probably told at least five white lies to Kate this morning just to get her out of the house. This is something big. What do you do when your kids ask you point blank if Santa is real? My thought is that if they are suspicious enough to ask, you owe it to your kid to be honest with them. I know we all went through finding out when Santa/The Tooth Fairy/Easter Bunny aren’t real and lived to tell about it. Yet, I know some moms who went through a rocky period with their kids when the kids learned that that had been lied to by someone they trusted. It also can be noted that there are some kids who are seemingly a little too old to still believe in Santa. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">I also don’t like that it places too much of the emphasis on the gift receiving aspect of the holiday. Sending letters and asking for things. It also highlights the economic disparity and is painful for a lot of families when the kids are requesting items a family cannot afford. I’ve heard there have been school administrators who have sent letters home to parents asking them to limit the presents distributed by “Santa” so kids aren’t wondering why Santa was more generous to some classmates than others. I also have absolutely no desire to spend hours queuing at the mall for my daughter to sit on some stranger’s lab while I hope he’s not molesting her (I’m not saying all mall Santas are pedophiles, but just saying if you are one, being mall Santa is a good gig) </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">My friend Amy made a few very valid points. First, threatening to call Santa to report bad behaviors is an effective deterrent. It’s a useful parenting tool. Secondly, you don’t want your kid to be the asshole who ruins it for everyone else. I spoke with a few like minded friends who were trying to promote that Santa is more of a concept. It’s the idea of selflessly giving to others. Anyone can be a Santa. I was ready to get on board with that, but the key distinction is that their kids aren’t in Pre-school where not only is Santa discussed, but he even visited Kate’s school. (Of note, the only thing I could find as a Montessori approved gender neutral gift under $10 for “Santa” to distribute was a Play Doh set and I silently apologized to the Mom of the kid who got this gift. Karma must be laughing, as Kate came home with the gift I brought in. Two other moms whose kids go to different schools also received their own gifts. Is this a thing schools do just in case someone buys Play Doh?)</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Last year on a Target clearance sale, I bought an activity advent calendar to use for this Christmas season, which was really to appease my mom who I knew would ask it I were doing an advent calendar. To my surprise, she really got into it and did the activities (coloring, a maze, matching etc..) every day, which all featured Santa. I decided I would take a “I will neither confirm nor deny approach” which I know is the proverbial ostrich burying her head in the sand. Then she found her Peppa Camper van that I didn’t get around to wrapping in my closet. It was a a total #momfail. As I had to rush out to get to the gym, Husband pulled the “Santa couldn’t fit this on his sleigh, so he gave it to us early…” line. So maybe that was some confirmation; but she heard it from him not me. My parents were the ones who helped Kate set out the cookies and milk and carrot for reindeer and then staged the empty glass and cookie crumbs. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Overall, we had a great Christmas. I felt we hit just the right number of presents. As she is really into playing “store” her gifts included a cash register, shopping cart and basket, more food, a small shelf and an Antsy Pantsy stand that works as a till. We didn’t designate any presents as being from Santa, but she seemed to appreciate the concept of Santa. I’ll have to figure out what to do next year. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;"></span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleTallBody; font-size: 17px;">Sent from</span>jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-29576009413829343442018-11-11T22:00:00.001-08:002018-11-11T22:00:15.186-08:00Kate 3.333...I had a plan to wean off writing updates. After doing the monthly updates in her first year, I dropped to q 6 weeks for her second year, then quarterly last year and I was just going to do a semi-annual update this year. However, I need to write these updates even if no one reads them. We’re only <strike>three</strike> four months in and the threes are seriously kicking my ass. There are days where I feel that Rosemary had a better baby than me. I appreciate that she’s been through a lot of transitions. We took her out of her old Pre-School. She spent two weeks transitioned into a new school only to have three weeks off without any routine. Her grandparents stayed with us for almost four weeks. That was chaos. Then she started her new school full time. One week later, her father left for almost three weeks. During that time, my friend and her son stayed with us.<br />
<br />
My friend is in the process of divorcing her abusive, alcoholic husband and plans to leave the state as soon as she can. She’s currently living in a house with three male roommates. One has to work early and has been less than polite about making sure her kid is quiet after 9 PM. As she was feeling really uncomfortable in that house, I offered that they could stay with us while Husband was away. They would come over in the evening after dinner, the kids would have a bath together and read stories, but I was finding it was hard to get her to go to sleep as she was a bit overstimulated. Mornings were even harder as we have to leave at a set time, while my friend and her son would be reading or playing, thus giving Kate a raging case of FOMO. I observed that while Kate is good at sharing toys at Pre-school; it’s a different story when it’s her toys in her house. There were so many arguments, so many screaming fits. We were averaging at least three to four meltdowns per day. It was getting to be really embarrassing. Finally, my friend started staying at her old house more often. It really shows how unruly your kid is if someone would rather take their chances with a confrontational ex-military guy.<br />
<br />
I probably need to read Harvey Karp’s <i>The Happiest Toddler on the Block</i> again. I also picked up the book, <i>Is This a Phase?</i> I was disappointed that the section on 3-4 year olds was only a few pages, but some of the things they were describing were spot-on. Insisting that a particular person performs a task. Kate started doing that, “I want Mommy to get me water!” until I told her “you are lucky to have any one do any thing for you at all and you will say ‘thank you’” As soon as those words came out of my mouth, all I could think <i>OMG I sound just like my grandfather!</i> Hey, it worked! She hasn’t done it again. Some days there are small victories. I just would like to return to a life where ignoring massive tantrums is not part of my daily routine.<br />
<br />
While in general, I don’t pay much attention to my cousin’s advise on parenting, as I don’t think she’s a very good parent, she did have some useful insight to dealing with the meltdowns. “Just because they are so verbal, don’t assume they always will articulate what is going on with them” she explained “think of them as still being in the newborn phase and go through the check list. Are they hungry? Thirsty? Tired? Need to use the bathroom?” This was helpful as sometimes I would withhold giving Kate a snack or a drink because I felt it was rewarding her bad behavior, when it was actually the antidote! (Which has been really making me re-think using food as a reward) Ultimately, I just want to stop needing to make excuses for my kid.<br />
<br />
Height (almost) 40 inches<br />
Weight 40 lbs<br />
<br />
Health Issues: We made it 3 years and 3 months before needing a trip to the ER (for the record I made it 38 years and 7 weeks). I was finishing up at work when I saw the number for her Pre-School flash up on my phone and my stomach immediately turned in knots. Her teacher calmly explained that Kate fell off a play structure and cut her chin and she would likely need stitches. The mom instinct reacted, I grabbed my purse and keys and started running out of the office. Then the clinician in me caught up. Maybe it’s not that bad… I went back and grabbed some steri-strips and dermabond glue. When I arrived at school, she had a band-aid on her chin and was happily playing, until she saw me and had to engage in a dramatic cry. As she seemed fine, I really had it in mind that it wasn’t that bad, but I decided to swing back to the office to see if any of the pediatricians could take a look to confirm if she would need strictest versus gluing and taping. Our pedi was at his desk and quickly confirmed she needed stitches and he offered to do them, but his staff was leaving in one minute. I knew the most important part of the process would be restraining Kate… so we headed over to the ER. I grabbed some juice boxes and cheese cracker packets from our endocrinology department (as I hadn’t packed snacks for this occasion -note to self: make emergency snack pack for the car) and prepared for our wait. It wasn’t too bad. Kate befriended a sweet older lady who has a grandson about her age and she had a Hello Kitty nail polish game on her IPad. One of the techs who helped restrain Kate goes to our gym, so Kate had a friendly face to comfort her and the PA who sutured her went above and beyond the call of duty singing while she stitched. We made in out in just over three hours.<br />
<br />
Eating: Still a fucking nightmare. Do you remember in the newborn days how they described ‘the witching hour’ in the middle of the night? That’s our dinner time. I absolutely dread meals because her table manners are so atrocious. It’s the same shit. I bought those ‘Dinner Winner’ maze plates, but it’s too much of a project for her to pick a plate, so I stopped using them. She won’t sit in her chair; she slouches, she twists and turns and then she lays across the chair on her stomach. I brought out her booster chair and I kept threatening to strap her in it. I have to make good on that threat. She stalls and wastes time, and then protests if you try to take her food away. As she’s in the 90th percentile for her weight, there have been times when I have taken her food away if she doesn’t finish in a reasonable amount of time. Myrtle gave us the great idea of using hourglass timers. It’s brilliant as she doesn’t yet really have the concept of ‘ten minutes’ versus ‘twenty minutes’. Although I’ve been trying to avoid Ama.zon due to their poor treatment of employees, I abandoned my principles and ordered a set of 4 (5, 10, 15 and 30 minute) hourglass timers. At first they worked perfectly. Kate accepted the challenge and would try to finish before the sand ran out. It was so successful, that I was almost grateful to Myrtle and her super fertile ness that she procreated so many years before me that she could share all her sage advice. Then Kate hid the timers in a cloth shopping bag and I couldn’t find them for nearly two weeks. Next she started to insist on only using the pink timer (the 5 minute one) and resetting it over and over again didn’t have the same effect. We went from total success to total fail.<br />
<br />
I also bought some books about table manners. One is perhaps a bit too long and includes two pages about not bringing a phone or electronic device to the table. Sigh. Such is a sign of our times, although I think those pages were aimed more toward parents. I had to let Husband break the no phone rule recently as it was “possibly the last game of the World Series” to which he was giving me a play by play update, until I informed him that I don’t give a shit and I got in trouble by Kate for swearing. Especially at the dinner table! I also found an <i>Olivia Eats Dinner</i> book, figuring she would listen to one of her favorite pigs. The story follows that Olivia has dinner at her stuffy friend Francine’s house, where her mother rejects Olivia’s offering of flowers (as flower pedals drop and make a mess) Francine’s father scolds her for telling a joke at the table and when Olivia spills some water, she and Francine get banished to the kiddie table. Olivia fears Francine won’t want to be friend anymore, while Francine fears the same thing. Francine then gets invited to Olivia’s house where she learns to slurp spaghetti. Not really the message I wanted to send…<br />
<br />
Potty Training: Back on track during the day, although sometimes she doesn’t push her pants down in time while she is getting on the toilet and sometimes soils her underwear. I’ve had to stock her cubby with lots of spare undies, but so far we haven’t been charged the non-potty training fee. Night time has been a disaster. We started after Memorial Day by putting her to bed commando. I would check on her every few hours and she actually got to the point where she would only pee once a night, which was an improvement from her super soaked pull-ups. I introduced the dream pees and we were having dry nights! We began tracking her progress with a sticker chart. We seemed to be going in the right direction. Then my parents came to visit and not only did the dry nights become fewer, she would wet her bed up to three times a night and I would have to wash three sets of sheets the next morning. My Dad tried to politely tell me that she might not be ready as we only had a success rate of approximately 10%. I looked at the sticker chart. I had hard data. She was staying dry about every third night. We had a 30% success rate.<br />
<br />
Not surprising, she seemed to do better once my parents left. Then Husband left, and she regressed again. I was beginning to see a pattern. I almost put her back in pull-ups, but I decided to push through and just before his return, she turned out a new PR of three consecutive dry nights. Then the dry nights stopped. No stickers went up on the calendar. She was wetting multiple times a night. I was doing laundry on a daily basis. The tipping point came when she came into our bed in the morning on a weekend. And peed in our bed. Both days. I relented that we needed to take a break and bought another pack of pull-ups. It has really hard to get her on board as I had to eat my words “You told me I don’t need pull-ups because I’m a big girl!” I had planned on only taking a break for a few weeks…but it’s been really nice not dealing with wet sheets and jammies every night (she has leaked through her pull-ups twice…) I’m contemplating waiting until after the holidays, the grandparents’ visit and after our overseas trip before starting again…<br />
<br />
Sleep: She was sleeping pretty well while we were night time training. Even if she woke up wet, she went to back to sleep rather quickly, but it was getting tough on me to be waking up every 2-3 hours each night (brought back memories of my pumping days). Annoyingly, even while using pull-ups, she still wakes up a few times a night and it takes longer to get back to sleep. <i>Grrrr</i> If she wakes up after 5 AM, we just let her come into our bed, which is actually pretty nice. I love snuggling up next to her. Sometimes Tyler is also curled up beside me and it feels like life can’t get any better. Oh yeah, Husband is in the bed too, but he isn’t snuggly as Kate or as soft and fluffy as Tyler.<br />
<br />
Likes: Playing pretend. Over the past few months, her imagination has really ramped up. Of course it’s great when she’s playing with her dolls or toys and she’s just totally content to be in her own little world…it’s harder when she can’t discern between her pretend world and the real world. Especially during her gymnastics class, she would decide that “I’m a baby!” Or “I’m a kitty” Her instructor was less than tolerant this. The worst episode occurred when we were in Safeway and she decide that the Star.bucks kiosk was a horse stable and she had to go save the horses and OMG I could not break her from this! She was refusing to go with me and threw such a fit when I picked her up that I was certain someone was going to suspect child abduction. I was ready to abandon my trolley half full of groceries in the aisle and head for home, but then she announced that she needed to go potty. After not making it in time and needing to change her clothes, she forgot about the ‘horses’ and we finished our shopping.<br />
<br />
I decided we needed to install a rule that we only play pretend at home and in turn, I would be better about playing pretend with her. The only trouble is that when Kate wants to play, she is very particular with how she wants things to play out and will dictate “now you say ___________” and then “you say ___________” I can only put up with it for so long before I lose my shit and explain to Kate that it’s not fun to play with her. Apparently I used to do this when I was her age. I’m sorry everyone.<br />
<br />
She’s also really into music. I listen to a classic rock station and she will demand “louder” “LOUDER” which makes me wonder if there is a problem with her hearing, or my speaker system or if she just wants to turn it up! Specifically she likes Adele. More specifically she likes the song “Water under the Bridge” and asked for it over and over again. I now have it on repeat and as soon as the song hits the last note, she’s requesting “Same song Mommy!”Actually it’s no different than any other radio station overplaying Adele.<br />
<br />
Activities: After the disastrous gymnastics class with my mom, we tried to go with my Dad. I thought she might do better as my Dad is, well how shall we say it, less uptight and intense than my mom. Nope, she was worse. She absolutely refused to participate, interfered with others and I had to drag her out of the class kicking and screaming. As she fell asleep as my dad and I were driving home, it dawned on me that the class was too close to nap time. So I went to switch her to the 11 AM class and ended up getting moved up on the wait list for the 3 year old class with the head instructor! Even better, it was only a few weeks of waiting before we got the call that we were in and she LOVES the head instructor and has been doing much better! We also started swimming lessons on Tuesday nights. She is doing rather well and can swim a few strokes on her own, but she also has a habit of not going potty before we get in the pool and needs to get out multiple times during the lesson. I also have her signed up for soccer and Spanish classes through her school. <br />
<br />
Looking forward to: I’m getting excited for the Holidays! We’re do our transitional 5K run on Thanksgiving (and I’ll do a 10K on Saturday to earn the coveted Mega-medal) and then we’ll go to my aunt’s house for dinner. I have Wednesday off, as Kate’s school is closed so I volunteered to make a few side side dishes. My parents are coming for Christmas (I think they are only coming for about ten days) and in early January we’re going to Ireland and England! Well admittedly I’m not looking forward to the long flights, the jet lag and being feeling like I’m under house arrest at my in-laws, but I’ve never been to Ireland before and we’re going for a wedding. Our friend Ryan, who everyone thought would be a lifetime bachelor (he was hooking up with tinder dates when we last saw him just over a year and a half ago) is getting hitched to some Irish woman. Remember the Baby Shower episode of <i>Sex and the City</i>, when Carrie explains to her friends “You see a sign that says ‘two-headed snake’ your pull over. Wild Lainey is having a baby shower. You pull over.” Even to this day, I’m not exactly sure what that is supposed to mean. Are we to pull over because of the danger of a two-headed snake, or is a two headed snake some sort of attractions? Either way, Sex Pest (his IRL nickname) is getting marred, we need to pull over to Ireland.<br />
<br />
<br />jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-74889595327517455072018-10-31T21:57:00.000-07:002018-10-31T21:57:00.808-07:00Halloween Fun When I was in the trenches of infertility treatments, I considered myself to be a “serious blogger”who only wrote about “serious” issues related to infertility and I vowed that I would never write such fluff pieces, such as ‘Halloween fun’. Yet, as we’ve been leading into Halloween, I’ve been composing a post in my mind, so I decided to go through with it. Then, as I sat down and started typing, I realized I do actually have a Halloween connection to infertility. Back in 2011, I had a negative pregnancy test (the first of many) after the Plan B incident on Halloween. Two years later, I was administering my trigger shot for my first failed IVF cycle in the bathroom at a bar, while wearing my Sookie Stackhouse costume on Halloween night. Then on October 31, 2014, I received the phone call with my beta results. It was 175 and rose to become Kate. I still have the voicemail saved on my phone. Infertility memories still haunt.<br />
<br />
I really wasn’t too into Halloween as a child. We lived on a small cul-de-sac that was a good distance away from the main road. There were only 4 or 5 hours and only two other children lived in our neighborhood, so we basically went around to each other’s houses. Since no other kids came to our hood for trick-or-treating, no one had much candy to offer. The grown-ups would carry on talking, which was <i>so boring</i>. I think one year I went trick or treating with Myrtle and her brother and his friend in a big neighborhood, which was a lot of fun. When I was in the 6th or 7th grade, I was asked to take the kids I baby-sit trick-or-treating. It was much more appealing to be making money and I didn’t have to dress in a costume. My final experience with trick or treating was in my senior year of high school. I was leaving field hockey practice, and a teammate, who I really couldn’t stand as she had the most annoying personality, asked me if I wanted to go trick-or-treating. I’m not really sure why I said yes. Maybe it was because I had just sent out my college applications and this was my last chance to do something youthful, or maybe I felt badly for her as I suspect she probably didn’t have friends to trick or treat with when she was younger. We became the annoying teenagers in last minute costumes who drew dirty looks for being too old to go trick-or treating, but I actually had a fun time with my annoying teammate.<br />
<br />
The one Halloween memory I will always hold, is that my mother made my costumes. The first one I recall was when I was in the first grade and was obsessed with Annie. My mom sewed me a red dress with the white collar and knit a kick-ass red curly wig. The next year she made a cat costume. When she went back to work full time, she gave me ten dollars and sent me to a consignment shop to create a costume. We never used a store bought costume. I wanted to carry on that tradition with Kate, especially when she was and infant and early toddler and didn’t have any comprehension of Halloween. I had my mom crochet some animal hats (a bunny and a dog) and I completed the rest of the outfit. Last year was the first time, she recognized there was something called Halloween going on. I re-used the Olivia Costume from her birthday, and we walked the neighborhood to look at all the decorations without trick-or-treating.<br />
<br />
One day in early September, Kate wanted to play Nella the Princess Knight and was going through her closet and mine to try to find a Nella outfit. I did my best, but it wasn’t “Nella” enough to suit her, so I began contemplating getting her a Nella costume, if she would actually wear it for play. I found one in the regular toy section at Target, which emphasized that it was not a Halloween costume, but I figured she could wear it on Halloween, so I hid it in my closet as I didn’t want her to possible ruin it before H-night. She found it while we had cleaned out our house for the flea treatments and of course, wanted to try it on. O-M-G that think was a fucking glitter bomb. Hot pink glitter everywhere. As we were vacuuming so frequently for the flea treatments, I didn’t think it was going to be a big deal, then I discovered specks of glitter were getting stuck in the floor boards. I had to cut off the glittery skirt and I went to the fabric store to get a non-glitter replacement. She could have worn it without the mesh overlay, but the action of sewing for her costume made me feel connected to my mother.<br />
<br />
Right after we hit the fabric store, Kate and I headed over to Tar.get to look for some pig ears (I’ll explain in a minute) She found a Unicorn costume and fell in love with it. Literally, she was hugging and cuddling this stuffed unicorn. I had a moment of weakness and relented. As Nella has a Unicorn, I figured it would complement her costume. (Kate always pairs Nella and Trinket together. She won’t wear her Nella underwear if it doesn’t have Nella and Trinket.) Once again, I justified my purchase as it is something she can play with year round. Already she’s insisted on taking her Unicorn out to dinner (we had to explain that the Pub has a no unicorn policy), to the farmer’s market, and to bed. I woke up one morning after Kate had climbed into our bed and saw that she brought Unicorn too.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5ou6-0Ot1k_nJmBTGjH_A9e4sxGB_ZAnYZxtiQ4lHP8MwMm0qvcMiIL_63ayzaimR-xJ1qQ-LWb-ZLVgw7kTMyxyJ-ztugsV_ap2hIVny2FlyITNQ9yiU2DL_dMnYcSaxEVisMbhn_bI/s1600/1ACD534A-E937-4198-B849-64A0B123060E.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5ou6-0Ot1k_nJmBTGjH_A9e4sxGB_ZAnYZxtiQ4lHP8MwMm0qvcMiIL_63ayzaimR-xJ1qQ-LWb-ZLVgw7kTMyxyJ-ztugsV_ap2hIVny2FlyITNQ9yiU2DL_dMnYcSaxEVisMbhn_bI/s320/1ACD534A-E937-4198-B849-64A0B123060E.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Just when I figured I had Halloween sorted. I received an email from her school reminding parents that they would be hosting a wholesome Halloween parade. So nothing scary. No masks. No war toys. Acceptable costume included professions, objects (such as a crayon) or characters from books. I decided to re-purpose the Olivia dress again. Only to find that the Olivia dress she wore a year ago, is now an Olivia shirt. I quickly found a red velvet dress online, which is actually closer to Olivia’s real dress, and took the collar I made off her old dress and sewed it on to the new one. I hope I made my mom proud. We also added bows for the ears.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_w4zSjl3Vj88e0XU8CK62b_qCJDeyee-mfUivejN9faysEX3JtcJ4lRB85DTkyimTuC92wGdC5V0AzhyTL7h5Qog73-J6qMzm855G3eP9LUAY9UGffnHGUMLy9diCuvJ9dfx5tYyZsGk/s1600/F79BB3EE-4E26-42C1-B849-4152E1001505.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_w4zSjl3Vj88e0XU8CK62b_qCJDeyee-mfUivejN9faysEX3JtcJ4lRB85DTkyimTuC92wGdC5V0AzhyTL7h5Qog73-J6qMzm855G3eP9LUAY9UGffnHGUMLy9diCuvJ9dfx5tYyZsGk/s320/F79BB3EE-4E26-42C1-B849-4152E1001505.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Olivia: today and one year ago </div>
<br />
Kate’s school had a field trip to a Pumpkin Patch. The kids learned about the life cycle of a Pumpkin, toured the patch on a hayride and each got to pick their own pumpkin. I love that Kate is deadlifting hers.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHJmGNQjX8cps2Rc-I8wIPK6zae5Nf5sLNY-CQTkbTT6MD9FF5Xc0gW-QBdSYV8vWpNiFVCZARDezskc4mmKVkCHFOqw5i2w23reGT5nwkNDoWQfL_2RNkmjaClk-RN-CVW0rN6w8YSa8/s1600/43F1D997-71AC-47C9-814E-6CD02EABAC4D.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="176" data-original-width="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHJmGNQjX8cps2Rc-I8wIPK6zae5Nf5sLNY-CQTkbTT6MD9FF5Xc0gW-QBdSYV8vWpNiFVCZARDezskc4mmKVkCHFOqw5i2w23reGT5nwkNDoWQfL_2RNkmjaClk-RN-CVW0rN6w8YSa8/s1600/43F1D997-71AC-47C9-814E-6CD02EABAC4D.jpeg" /></a></div>
<br />
As Husband was away for a hockey tournament during the weekend of my championship swim meet (did I mention that my team WON!) I had to leave her with baby-sitters. I picked up some Halloween arts and craft projects for the sitters to do with Kate, as I thought this made me a “cool” mom. Neither sitter did them with her, so apparently not. Never mind. Kate and I did them together.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1lLKe7aqsTfnnJYMI4srialvYpt0tWxQ2HHWb-W0My7bnUhnZYHmGgLavuYg77kM5arCC05gHvE5XS9KZKAvdtThWaaIHCqlQAvHs6iY2-7bWBbhyphenhyphen9DA6Aexn_TCiQGkeWmICdFcsyv0/s1600/C293FD52-A141-4D46-9ACD-365721C7FBAB.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1lLKe7aqsTfnnJYMI4srialvYpt0tWxQ2HHWb-W0My7bnUhnZYHmGgLavuYg77kM5arCC05gHvE5XS9KZKAvdtThWaaIHCqlQAvHs6iY2-7bWBbhyphenhyphen9DA6Aexn_TCiQGkeWmICdFcsyv0/s320/C293FD52-A141-4D46-9ACD-365721C7FBAB.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqfRutcCgpF6tppP7aAtkkIX2VUKlHEZ_V3VPJ18hNUrySX6zZ7YJPVftQY5cg5pCMoyP54UQNLDO4wLjpF4IVdz91Br_-kSRv1ZSOdPcYLrEoTU-ZkRlpuD0LP8R-5aax_Dm5TR1_7gI/s1600/77D78E67-880A-466A-A366-FFD7BFF96A54.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqfRutcCgpF6tppP7aAtkkIX2VUKlHEZ_V3VPJ18hNUrySX6zZ7YJPVftQY5cg5pCMoyP54UQNLDO4wLjpF4IVdz91Br_-kSRv1ZSOdPcYLrEoTU-ZkRlpuD0LP8R-5aax_Dm5TR1_7gI/s320/77D78E67-880A-466A-A366-FFD7BFF96A54.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
The masks came out well. The pumpkin.. not so much </div>
<br />
<br />
Our final Halloween project was the pumpkin carving. As a I have a few tool sets, I decided to look online for patterns to download and we couldn’t resist making a Peppa Pumpkin!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglycO1EOeVGAX7cFNXcC20hCazXlB7LiE75lnjl58RF_EfHb4OcNj6LeyIvB4XVfp1lYtGw8md_ra4BD_UUi0aMMksbHsCFw_HAdbGKp12MGfkBiKV5D4rL9iZ__i8IVt2neSyxJV4Klg/s1600/0BD7F7F9-9B17-4D68-AF9E-882F4699B2EC.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1600" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglycO1EOeVGAX7cFNXcC20hCazXlB7LiE75lnjl58RF_EfHb4OcNj6LeyIvB4XVfp1lYtGw8md_ra4BD_UUi0aMMksbHsCFw_HAdbGKp12MGfkBiKV5D4rL9iZ__i8IVt2neSyxJV4Klg/s320/0BD7F7F9-9B17-4D68-AF9E-882F4699B2EC.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Finally we celebrated Halloween. My Dentist was hosting a Halloween carnival, which I felt was a good alternative to trick-or-treating. As Halloween wasn’t really a thing done in England, Husband perceives trick-or-treating as begging and doesn’t want her to do it and I don’t want her to get lots of candy. Co-worker started taking her boys out when they were three, but she only goes to five houses. This will be their fourth year of hitting only five houses. She is aware that eventually they will discover that you can knock on six of more doors. The carnival was just on our way home after picking Kate up from school, but I didn’t factor extra time for the traffic. It was listed as 4-7 and we arrived around 6:20. It was getting dark and they were starting to pack somethings up. If we do it next year, I’ll get out of work earlier as they had lots of carnival games. Kate did get to get her face painted. (The woman was getting ready to pack up, but couldn’t resist Kate’s charms) She got a balloon animal (which looked more like a sex toy…) We posed for pictures in a photo booth and ate pizza from a food truck that had an actual brick oven. It was pretty cool. She received a goodie bag that had some candy, a few mini packages of M&Ms and a few lollipops. So she got a little candy that night. We came home to find our bowl of Do-it-Yourself non-candy Halloween treats was empty, which means they were a big hit... or some decided to be an asshole and take all of them. I may find out when I rake leaves if any got dumped back on our yard...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX-3AOox1cihWNSyknISt-7vF-K7C2Wlfr1WnB81vy7HI39vRIXWQ_mZGnjmNYL7BQPmMcpJbI8EQdvZFSLXpJY742_IMWcFfNU1AYlp97umHJHIMNfrvF3HiRi69VW6YA_sKxku4ISj0/s1600/8CAB42F4-07B7-4F41-BD66-5783E73C4403.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX-3AOox1cihWNSyknISt-7vF-K7C2Wlfr1WnB81vy7HI39vRIXWQ_mZGnjmNYL7BQPmMcpJbI8EQdvZFSLXpJY742_IMWcFfNU1AYlp97umHJHIMNfrvF3HiRi69VW6YA_sKxku4ISj0/s320/8CAB42F4-07B7-4F41-BD66-5783E73C4403.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
The balloon lady tried really hard to fulfill Kate’s request for a Unicorn</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I didn’t have the heart to tell her it looks more like The Rabbit </div>
jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.com2