tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post6952910880398614254..comments2023-11-29T00:50:04.094-08:00Comments on Mine to Command: Not a Distant Memory jAllenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06282963869813954232noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-15723938580868936342015-05-13T10:07:39.861-07:002015-05-13T10:07:39.861-07:00I hear you. When we first started the discussion o...I hear you. When we first started the discussion of donor egg, I was in the car with my mom, explaining the process and she said, "So the real mom...." I cut her off. "No," I said harshly, "Not the 'real mom,' the donor." A few weeks later she said it again. People have such a hard time wrapping their heads around stuff that isn't the status quo.Risahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01134469272401945848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-40462789948391080522015-05-08T14:34:04.132-07:002015-05-08T14:34:04.132-07:00There's a lot of what ifs, and I don't thi...There's a lot of what ifs, and I don't think anyone ever truly forgets this journey to parenthood. We know we can't take it for granted when it doesn't come so easily, especially when it's marked by loss in addition to infertility. Congrats on making it to the 30 week mark so far though!Amberhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16507432917936364757noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-48012364361950131122015-05-08T07:20:40.128-07:002015-05-08T07:20:40.128-07:00Hotel California you can check out but you can nev...Hotel California you can check out but you can never leave. How so very true. While my heart hurts that you ever had to check in Im so glad that you have checked out. The Run Away Storkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00971471535179009005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-77605422450834153542015-05-07T19:36:30.808-07:002015-05-07T19:36:30.808-07:00I was recently saying that maybe the pain goes awa...I was recently saying that maybe the pain goes away at menopause when we're finally all on equal footing.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06326763572650750036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-56717581790605111842015-05-07T17:57:40.488-07:002015-05-07T17:57:40.488-07:00You said it perfectly: "infertility became a ...You said it perfectly: "infertility became a core component of my identity" Its so true. I think we are all shaped by our past and our experiences influence our world view long after they have passed.Gypsy Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13026496787029080243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-18598086541516915482015-05-07T15:06:00.890-07:002015-05-07T15:06:00.890-07:00Well said. I think in the medical profession (and ...Well said. I think in the medical profession (and I'm sure you could speak to this yourself, and you maybe see things a bit differently now too?), once a diagnosis/illness/problem, whatever you want to call it, is defeated/overcome/cured it is seen as problem solved, case closed. But for those who live through it, it's not that simple. Definitely reshapes ones self. True sentiments that many of us echo.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-42122716193648307802015-05-07T14:49:22.906-07:002015-05-07T14:49:22.906-07:00Agree with the Hotel California reference...I don&...Agree with the Hotel California reference...I don't think I'm ever going to be able to listen to that song the same way again. I've had people say similar stuff to me, and I think they think it's weird when I say that I don't want to forget what we've been through. Not that I think it would be possible anyway, but where we came from is such an important part of where we are now. I can't believe how fast the time has gone...30 weeks! Jate will be here before you know it!Aramishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12275274008426941898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-82348145094963770532015-05-07T13:40:26.631-07:002015-05-07T13:40:26.631-07:00"Infertility became a core component to my id..."Infertility became a core component to my identity and even at thirty weeks pregnant, I still cannot separate myself from my past experiences."--- Feeling the same way! Even now, with a ten week old, I find myself approaching Mother's Day with fear. I remind myself that it won't be that way this year... "Look down," I tell myself, "You are a mom." But before I can even begin to smile or celebrate I think, "but so many aren't yet" and so the day is approached with trepidation. Admittedly, I didn't give birth to my son, but I can wholeheartedly agree that infertility doesn't go away. It's ever present. Tomorrow marks three years for my spontaneous conception's due date. That first baby would be THREE. Instead, I rock my ten week old to sleep and think still utterly clueless about parenting, rather that having been there and done that a time or two before.<br /><br />Excited that you've reached 30 weeks! Do we have a game plan in place??? I feel like you're scheduling a bit early because of possible complications... how many more weeks do you have?Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11657607481465480125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-91876158150657145322015-05-07T11:59:54.353-07:002015-05-07T11:59:54.353-07:00I love this post and the Hotel California referenc...I love this post and the Hotel California reference. So apt! I will always think of that when I hear that song now LOL. Our experiences shape us. For my part, even though some of my experiences were not what I would have chosen it feels more honest to embrace the reality of them than to pretend that a "happy ending" means I fit easily in the fertile group. Even with an unassisted conception that carried to term (I prefer "unassisted'" to "spontaneous"...spontaneous sounds like the Second Coming or something) I don't feel like part of that group. But the good news is that if our identities are shaped by the past they are not limited by it. There are many good experiences waiting for you that will expand your heart even more.torthĂșilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-66805666212553018712015-05-07T09:30:25.150-07:002015-05-07T09:30:25.150-07:00I don't know if it's because you focus on ...I don't know if it's because you focus on the most extreme part of your treatment, but I don't find that I dwell on the process of IVF, but I still struggle with the fact that we have a DE/DS pregnancy. Maybe it's the constant which parent will baby look like, the fact that my mother referred to the donors as the "parents" (WTF, I saw red), the little reminders that our genes won't influence the baby's development, but I feel like there are so many reminders of what we don't have. On the flip side, as with you, I'm grateful and overwhelmed with happiness feeling my baby move, seeing his/her (very rapid, OMG I have a giant baby) growth, looking in awe at the strands of baby hair we just saw on the ultrasound. And always wondering why I achieved what so many people haven't yet. Being on the other side, while wonderful, doesn't negate the trauma involved in getting there.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2808830305872285145.post-64794547021631711402015-05-07T08:12:58.658-07:002015-05-07T08:12:58.658-07:00lovely post. And I liked the Hotel California comp...lovely post. And I liked the Hotel California comparison.dubliner in Deutschlandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16531838540641364420noreply@blogger.com