Epilogue

As my 20% coupon had an expiry date, I went back to the baby supply store to purchase an infant car seat/stroller combination set. This time Husband joined me. It was a rare weekend when he didn't have to umpire any hockey matches, and as our garage project is on hold pending some issues that need HOA approval and City inspections, he probably didn't have anything better to do. Reflecting on my previous trip that reminded me of the first shopping scene in Pretty Woman, I commented that his presence followed how Edward Lewis accompanied Vivian the second time she went shopping. Husband was quite confused as he has never seen the movie, but I think he appreciated the comparison to Richard Gere.

I found the display model for the pram I had selected based on my research. We took turns pushing it around and then attempted to practise folding it. A sales woman spotted the clueless couple and probably feared that we would break something. "Can I help you?" she called from a distance and quickly started walking over to us. She gave us a demonstration and answered a few questions. "Is this something you'll want to add to your registry?" she asked in earnest. Husband let out a deep sigh as I launched into my spiel about being anti-registry and anti-baby shower. I even added how hard it was just for me to be in the store after my experience with infertility and pregnancy loss. The sales woman just returned a look that I'm pretty sure conveyed; listen lady, I really don't care about your back story. It was a yes or no answer... Then she informed us "Well you may want to create a registry for some items, even if you purchase them yourselves. You'll get coupons and it will help you organise and keep track of what you need."

Okay, I could go along with that logic. I also thought about Edward Lewis's explanation of customer service and capitalism. "Stores aren't nice to people. They're nice to money." Of course, he skips over the next sequence, which is that stores are nice to people with money. No one in the store would throw me out claiming that I didn't belong in there. I could be one of those crazy women who is faking a pregnancy and they would be all too willing to sell me the gear needed to support my delusion. (NB: Unfortunately this scenario does sometimes happen. Be sure to ask about Nursery security during your hospital tour.) I began to relax a little as we waited for the 'Registry Consultant' to meet with us. It helped that couple sitting next to us barely looked out of the first trimester. "Hi," she greeted. "I understand that this is a little difficult for you, so we'll try to make this as comfortable as possible for you." Oh good. She was just like Bridgette. "Barney said you would be nice to me..."

She took us around the store and we had our own little spree with the scanning gun. Much to my chagrin, I actually enjoyed it. When we first learned about my placenta issues, Husband didn't want us to purchase a single item until the baby was actually born and definitely coming home. "Um, I'm going to be recovering from major surgery and we'll be caring for a newborn in the ICU... not really ideal to be running in and out of stores..." No problem. He answered as he proclaimed that he would take care of it all. My parents also offered to take on this task when they arrive. I quickly thought back to how they wanted to redecorate our living room with new chairs. I may not recognise my own house any more. I reminded them both that I'm suppose to want to do this nesting thing... it may actually be instinctual. I feel that I've already been denied so many pregnancy experiences, damned if I'm going to deprive myself any further!

My mind oscillated between thoughts of NMG! I can't believe I'm doing this! How could I just abandon all my principles! to echoes of actually... this is pretty practical... Myrtle and Mrs Myrtle would send us a gift from a registry, as would our ex-pat friends. My mother's middle sister probably would as well. I'm sure that would be fun for her. When my mother told her the news, she issued her congratulations and then commented on how it seems that everyone around her is expecting grandchildren and how jealous she was. Her 34 year old daughter is recently divorced and her 32 year old son is dating a fourth grader (she's 22). What about my mother's youngest sister? Well that will depend on if my mother gave anything to Sid and Nancy and their methadone weaning baby. Don't you love how this game is played?

I made Husband promise that we would keep the details of our registry secret, and only share the information with anyone who specifically asks. I did have Co-worker take a look at it, only to act as a second registry consultant. She recently shared with me that our practice manager approached her about arranging a shower at the office. Her idea was to have people contribute to a gift card, which I could use toward my registry. I could actually go along with that. No one would be pressured or obligated. I wouldn't have to endure the awkward present opening scene and no one would be singled out for not giving a gift. Yet, keeping with my Pretty Woman theme, I still feel a bit whorish.