Saturday 28 March 2015

Epilogue

As my 20% coupon had an expiry date, I went back to the baby supply store to purchase an infant car seat/stroller combination set. This time Husband joined me. It was a rare weekend when he didn't have to umpire any hockey matches, and as our garage project is on hold pending some issues that need HOA approval and City inspections, he probably didn't have anything better to do. Reflecting on my previous trip that reminded me of the first shopping scene in Pretty Woman, I commented that his presence followed how Edward Lewis accompanied Vivian the second time she went shopping. Husband was quite confused as he has never seen the movie, but I think he appreciated the comparison to Richard Gere.

I found the display model for the pram I had selected based on my research. We took turns pushing it around and then attempted to practise folding it. A sales woman spotted the clueless couple and probably feared that we would break something. "Can I help you?" she called from a distance and quickly started walking over to us. She gave us a demonstration and answered a few questions. "Is this something you'll want to add to your registry?" she asked in earnest. Husband let out a deep sigh as I launched into my spiel about being anti-registry and anti-baby shower. I even added how hard it was just for me to be in the store after my experience with infertility and pregnancy loss. The sales woman just returned a look that I'm pretty sure conveyed; listen lady, I really don't care about your back story. It was a yes or no answer... Then she informed us "Well you may want to create a registry for some items, even if you purchase them yourselves. You'll get coupons and it will help you organise and keep track of what you need."

Okay, I could go along with that logic. I also thought about Edward Lewis's explanation of customer service and capitalism. "Stores aren't nice to people. They're nice to money." Of course, he skips over the next sequence, which is that stores are nice to people with money. No one in the store would throw me out claiming that I didn't belong in there. I could be one of those crazy women who is faking a pregnancy and they would be all too willing to sell me the gear needed to support my delusion. (NB: Unfortunately this scenario does sometimes happen. Be sure to ask about Nursery security during your hospital tour.) I began to relax a little as we waited for the 'Registry Consultant' to meet with us. It helped that couple sitting next to us barely looked out of the first trimester. "Hi," she greeted. "I understand that this is a little difficult for you, so we'll try to make this as comfortable as possible for you." Oh good. She was just like Bridgette. "Barney said you would be nice to me..."

She took us around the store and we had our own little spree with the scanning gun. Much to my chagrin, I actually enjoyed it. When we first learned about my placenta issues, Husband didn't want us to purchase a single item until the baby was actually born and definitely coming home. "Um, I'm going to be recovering from major surgery and we'll be caring for a newborn in the ICU... not really ideal to be running in and out of stores..." No problem. He answered as he proclaimed that he would take care of it all. My parents also offered to take on this task when they arrive. I quickly thought back to how they wanted to redecorate our living room with new chairs. I may not recognise my own house any more. I reminded them both that I'm suppose to want to do this nesting thing... it may actually be instinctual. I feel that I've already been denied so many pregnancy experiences, damned if I'm going to deprive myself any further!

My mind oscillated between thoughts of NMG! I can't believe I'm doing this! How could I just abandon all my principles! to echoes of actually... this is pretty practical... Myrtle and Mrs Myrtle would send us a gift from a registry, as would our ex-pat friends. My mother's middle sister probably would as well. I'm sure that would be fun for her. When my mother told her the news, she issued her congratulations and then commented on how it seems that everyone around her is expecting grandchildren and how jealous she was. Her 34 year old daughter is recently divorced and her 32 year old son is dating a fourth grader (she's 22). What about my mother's youngest sister? Well that will depend on if my mother gave anything to Sid and Nancy and their methadone weaning baby. Don't you love how this game is played?

I made Husband promise that we would keep the details of our registry secret, and only share the information with anyone who specifically asks. I did have Co-worker take a look at it, only to act as a second registry consultant. She recently shared with me that our practice manager approached her about arranging a shower at the office. Her idea was to have people contribute to a gift card, which I could use toward my registry. I could actually go along with that. No one would be pressured or obligated. I wouldn't have to endure the awkward present opening scene and no one would be singled out for not giving a gift. Yet, keeping with my Pretty Woman theme, I still feel a bit whorish.

13 comments:

  1. You deserve all if the fun rights of passage. As gauche as a registry feels, you will come to enjoy and appreciate how the universe wants to lavish your child. Just don't make my mistake and have a shower 4 days before your baby comes home. That stuff may never be properly organized now.

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  2. I'm glad you are finding a way to deal with the registry etc. that works for you! I like the idea of giving the registry to people who ask about it. And as Nina said, it is nice when the universe wants to lavish your child. Nothing wrong with letting people give when they really want to - giving is a pleasure, and can benefit you and baby both when done thoughtfully.

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  3. Good for you! Don't let him talk you into being so cautious that you don't buy any necessities before the baby arrives! That's actually a little bit of a crazy level of cautious, even if he is willing to run out and get everything you need. I generally believe in waiting for most things because you don't really know what you need until you meet your baby and see what they like, but you should allow yourself to make a place just for your baby to come home to, no matter how small.

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  4. I'm happy you managed to get yourself a bargain as well as get over your baby store feelings of inadequacy. I can't believe you remember so many details of Pretty Woman, though. I have a gay friend I need to introduce you to.

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    1. I recently saw a clip on some morning chat show discussing that this year is the 25th anniversary of the movie and they had a reunion with the cast. I kept thinking that it still has relevance after all these years and NMG I am so old!

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  5. We are truly kindred spirits. I did let myself get talked into making a registry, because then everything was in one place, and I knew I could get a discount even we ended up purchasing everything ourselves. Plus people were asking what we needed, so it was convenient to direct them to the registry and get stuff we actually needed. My work is also doing the gift card thing for my shower, and I love it. I'll have no idea who contributed money, and I don't care. I won't have to open gifts in front of people and make myself and anyone who didn't want to/couldn't contribute feel bad. I'm glad you're getting some of the "normal" experiences of pregnancy - even if it took an unusual route to get there. Nest away!

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  6. I can understand being cautious. You start to believe it will never happen! I keep being reminded though to still try and enjoy this time so I am trying to work on that too but it's hard. I agree with you on skipping the work shower, I would not want to be the center of attention at a shower.

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  7. Good on you. I knew eventually I would make a registry, mostly for the reasons you've given above. I would rather get things I want/need, if people are going to be giving gifts anyways. I like the giftcard idea for the work shower, I wonder how I could push that on my coworkers. As soon as I told them I was pregnant, they were already talking about a shower. Ugh, dreading that one big time.

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  8. Amazon offers a 10% (15% if you're an Amazon Mom subscriber, which you get for free if you're an Amazon Prime member) of everything left on your registry 30 days prior to the EDD. My husband wants to register for a vacuum among various other household goods just to get the discount.

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  9. Ha ha! Whorish! I think a gift card from your co-workers is a great idea. And I'm glad you had fun with the registry. You've waited long enough for this. Go crazy :)

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  10. Ha ha! Whorish! I think a gift card from your co-workers is a great idea. And I'm glad you had fun with the registry. You've waited long enough for this. Go crazy :)

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  11. Hahaha. That's what I said! Create a registry for the discount. Glad you had a little fun creating it. It's going to be more helpful than you think.

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  12. I love your Pretty Woman reference and the picture of your husband being Edward Lewis going back to the store with you! I'm glad you at least enjoyed registering a little and were able to have fun with it. That's awesome that your co-workers want to get you a gift card in lue of gifts!

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