I am issuing an apology. To all parents with a crying baby on a flight. Prior to my own experience as a parent, I figured you were doing something wrong. I didn't understand why you couldn't calm your baby and I probably even blamed you for it. Oh, how very wrong was I. I learned this lesson the hard way. When I was that mother with the screaming, unconsolable baby. Our flight to Hawaii wasn't too bad. The take-off coordinated with her nap time and she slept for the first two hours of the flight. Husband and I were even able to watch The Big Short. We really lucked out and had an empty seat next to us, which was fortunate as I gave Kate a squeeze pouch for the first time and she squirted it all over that seat's tray table. (Rookie error; I should have had her practice before the flight). The flight home was a different story. She had spent eight days out of her usual routine and was overstimulate and overtired and didn't want to be confined to my lap for five hours.
We tried everything we could. She wasn't interested in nursing. At one point, I think I had both breasts exposed to anyone walking down the aisles. "Do you want me to get your cover?" asked Husband. "No, I don't give a shit!" I snaped. That's not entrely true. In general, I'd prefer not to flash an entire airplane, but I was so exhausted at that moment as I desparately wanted the sleep she was refusing. Although I almost always use a cover in public, I found it really cumbersome in the small confined space of an airplane seat. She didn't want to eat any of the snacks I brought for her and wasn't interested in any of her books or toys. I put her in the carrier and walked up and down the aisles, which worked for a lap or two, then she started really wailing. I decided to go to the back of the plane and stationed myself in the galley. At one point, I went into the bathroom to get a tissue and I wanted to cry myself. Husband tried to calm her, but she kept reaching for me. Finally I handed her off claiming I needed a rest from her screaming in my ear. She finally crashed and fell asleep five minutes later. Of course, he looked like the hero.
Stats: (approximate) 22 pounds 28 inches
Teeth: Still two on the bottom and is working on her top incisors
Sleep: She's been sleeping through the night since about 9 months. She may wake up once or twice, but she [usually] goes right back to sleep. However, when we went to Hawaii, she stayed on California time for much of the trip. This meant she was waking up at 2 AM [5 am Pacific time] bright eyed, bushy tailed and was ready to get on with her day. It was painful. We just took her back to our bed and took turns, one would sleep for half an hour while the other played with her and we collectively hoped she would fall back to sleep. She would fall back to sleep, which made me worry that we had opened the door to co-sleeping and I feared she would want to resume when we returned to the main land. Fortunately, she re-adjusted back to California time quite quickly and also went back to sleeping all night again. However, she went from waking at 6 AM to waking at 5 AM. It's not so much of a problem during the work week, as I find I can get some chores done, but it's brutal on the weekends. We tried putting her to bed a little later, but it doesn't matter, she still wakes up before sunrise.
Eating: My parents have become friendly with their neighbours, a couple in their early 30s, who have a baby only a few weeks younger than Kate. My mother often shares updates on their daughter, and I'm sure anyone else could pass on the same information and I wouldn't have any reaction. Yet, because the words are coming from my mother's mouth, my immediate response is to intrepret it as a form of criticism and implication that either I or Kate are inadequate. Fortunately, I've been able to brush most of it off. "Jess, puts her baby down with a blanket" The AAP recommends no blankets until 2 years, but I guess if Jess does it; then it must be okay... "Charlotte is 6 months and already has 4 teeth!" Yeah, I'm not at all worried that Kate doesn't have any teeth yet... "Your Dad held Charlottle on his lap for almost 45 minutes last night" Well, Kate won't last sitting on your lap for 4 to 5 seconds, let alone 4 to 5 minues... "Jess reports that Charlottle [ten months old] can say 15 words...but we haven't heard any..." Yeah, I'm just going to go ahead and call bullshit on that one... "Jess says Charlottle eats everything they eat... they just cut it up in small pieces for her."
Oh, that last one got to me. My pediatrician had suggested we try that at her 9 month visit. I hadn't really pursued it mostly because we were in such an efficient routine. Come home from work around 5:30, feed Kate her puree at 6, start to change her into her PJs by 6:30, nurse and have her asleep by 7. During this time, Husband would prepare our dinner, we could eat, clean up, pack lunch and bottles and be done by 8 PM. I had planned to do a little more food sharing while we were in Hawaii, but we ate eggs almost each morning and we grilled a lot of fish. Two things to avoid before the first year. When we returned, I made some turkey burgers (laced with kale and sweet potato) for our dinner, and I cooked a bit for her and served it without blending it in the Baby Bullet. Husband observed that the pieces were still too much for her. He would dip a bit in the baby crack applesause, and she would manage to suck off the applesause and spit out the lumps of turkey meat. She's still not ready to be a part of the "It's great! Baby eats what you eat!" crowd. I felt intense mom guilt for giving into the pressure to keep up with Jones. Even though it was also a recommendation from her doctor, I still need to remember that I'm the one who knows her best.
Then we seemed to regress even further. While Husband was away, I started her dinner with some peas and carrots (from the frozen bag of vegtables). She threw all of them on the floor, I don't think anything made it into her mouth. "Fuck Baby Led Weaning!" I wanted to cry as I was litterly holding back tears while sweeping up the floor. I am now convinved that the key element of BLW is to have a dog who can clean this shit up. Tyler will sometimes play with a fallen Cheerio, which is not very helpful. My biggest worry as we transition into more solid foods is how much to feed? Even while exclusively breastfeeding, I never had the 'is she getting enough?' panic. My magic boobs knew just how much to give her. While we were in Hawaii, I decided that I couldn't be bothered trying to make her food while we were on vacation, so we purchased packaged baby food, and I noticed the portions were much bigger than what we had been giving her. Of note, she enjoyed the squeeze packets, but hated the Gerber meals. I can't decide if she just really appreciates her mother's cooking, or Gerber really is shit. I'm going to go with the latter. I don't know if I'm over feeding or underfeeding her with solids, but I feel that I can't rely on her to feed herself yet, and at least with spoon feeding her purees, at least I know how much is going in her mouth.
We did make some progress. I had her try some grapes and blueberries. Blueberries are the new baby crack. She gobbles those up and my new trick is to dump the cut up blueberries on her remaining peas and carrots and she'll manage to shove it all in her mouth. My not so proud mothering moment: I was so tired of trying to deter her from eating dry cat food that I finally decided to let her try a piece of kibble. I figured she would find it to be disgusting and learn why we don't eat cat food. My plan backfired. She started chowing down on kitty food. Tyler looked pissed. I figure if I want her to stop eating cat food, I just need to put it on her tray.
She has been doing well since she had to boycott the breast due to my antibiotic use. Earlier that week I took her to do a 5K Walk/Little bit of Running, and I needed to bring a bottle. I didn't want to use any of my frozen milk, as it's reserved for her Day Care. I had some single use formula samples that were about to expire, so I decided to give it a try. She sucked down the bottle without hesitation. Fortunately, we had some forumla on hand, so I've been alternating between using formula and frozen milk. The first morning of my antibiotic use, she seemed a bit fussy, but calmed down when I held her in my lap while she was drinking her bottle. Husband reckoned that she was content just to be leaning against the boob. So far, she hasn't started grabbing at my shirt. I've been pumping just to down regulate my supply. Pumping and dumping is just the most depressing thing ever. I now understand the saying 'crying over spiled milk', as I've shed tears watching my milk go down the drain.
Likes: Pushing chairs. After I splured a bit with the slightly pricey baby walker (with wooden Zebras to compliment the jungle theme in her nursery -see picture in her Ten Month post) she decided she was ready for an upgrade and started pushing her high chair around the kitchen. Once she mastered manouvering the high chair, the next challenge was something without wheeles, and she moved on to pushing the two chairs at the breastfast table and the two bar stools that are in our kitchen. The bonus? I can work on meal prep and still keep track of her just by watching the tops of the chairs move around the kitchen's island. Our pediatrician had suggested moving all my plastic containers to a low drawer of cabinet that could be designated for her. Wow. This guy really knows his stuff. She has a basket of toys in the other room, but she loves it when I open the container drawer. That occupies a good 15-20 minutes during meal prep. She also loves hangers. I went through her closet to pull out clothes that were too small and I left a pile of hangers on the floor. She was so content playing with them, that I brought her with me when I cleaned out my closet and she loved playing with the hangers!
Dislikes: Anything that requires sitting still. Now really hates Baby Jail (the Pack and Play). We're only keeping it up for desparate times. While Husband was away over Memorial Day weekend, I stuck her in the PNP just so I could shower. She screamed so loud that I thought our neighbours would call Child Services.
Milestones: Walking! She didn't take her first steps in Hawaii, but she did so over Memorial Day weekend. She would extend both arms forward to keep her balance, which makes her look like a little zombie, which is rather adorable. Now that she's walking, our next challenge is to keep her in shoes. She's been babbling a lot more, using more sounds and syllables, but not producing anything coherent or making any sense. She has uttered "Muma" and Dada" but I think it was more random sounds than addressing us as Muma or Dada. We're convinced her first proper word will be "Tyler" or "Kitty". She seems to br regressing with signing a little bit, using her go-to sign of 'milk' a lot less. She has done the sign for leaf, twice at random times, and she did the sign for 'peas' while we were eating peas. I keep trying to work with her by doing the animal signs while we play with her stuffed animals and I sign while I read some books. Husband shared that maybe she thinks I'm just an idiot.
Clothes: Cleared all onesies and other items that are less than 9 months out of her dresser and closet. Started introducing the 12 month sized clothes.
Diapering: In exciting diapering news, we are still using the small size diaper covers that are designated for 12-18 lbs as they still fit and the fit better under her clothes.
Health Issues: She attempted to crawl from our bed onto Husband's nightstand and her hand fell down the side of the bed, causing her to face plant right onto the night stand. A nice shiner popped up immediately. I explained what happened when I dropped her off at Day Care and couldn't resist the 'yeah, but you should see the other guy...' line. Just as soon as I said that, another mom came in and explained that her daughter had a black eye...Whoops.
Looking forward to: Her first birthday party. It's been fun putting the details together, and it reminds me how just one year ago I was putting the finishing touches on her nursery. I'm trying not to get too mushy over the fact that my baby is growing up so fast, but I'm reflecting on how amazing this year has been and how I can't wait for the years ahead.
Close up of her black eye
Probably the best picture, but off centre
She is just precious!! I'm just waiting for that first fall of some type :( I am also constantly reminding myself that all babies are different and do different things at different times, thank you for saying that here :)
ReplyDeleteYes! Blueberries are the new baby crack. Whereas A would eat bananas anytime anywhere, he now rejects bananas but will gladly shovel blueberries into his mouth with abandon. I think I told you A rejected purees a couple months ago (and he also rejects anything that I spoon into his mouth except Noosa yogurt). His vegetable intake is paltry, what he will eat and what he won't eat changes daily. Oh and those Gerber meals are terrible--A refuses those, too. Most of what I feed him ends up on the floor and my dog is worthless. I actually think his calorie intake has gone down. He eats about half as much formula as he used to--pushing away his bottle and refusing to eat. This from a boy that couldn't ingest enough. However, in trying to create a healthy relationship with food, I just let him do what he wants, offer him food and if he's acting really hungry give him something I know he'll eat (Noosa yogurt). Interestingly, I was thinking about an article I read recently (maybe that Washington Post one I sent you) where it was discussed why more affluent kids eat better and have so much early exposure to fruits and vegetables--because more affluent families have the luxury of seeing many dollars spent on food end up in the dog's bowl or in the bin and the less affluent families just need to make sure their kids eat something.
ReplyDeleteThat plane journey sounds like a nightmare! I will also try to have more sympathy for the parents of screaming kids on planes!
ReplyDeleteKate sounds like she's right on track with everything. I wouldn't worry at all. As to the food...food before one is just for fun. I used to want to punch people who said that because Garrison was barely hanging on the the growth chart. No food feels fun when every calorie counts, but if you need that to be your mantra, run with it. Garrison was an EXCEPTIONAL eater very early on and when comparing him to other kids of the same age at daycare, he was off the chart better at eating, trying new things, and feeding himself at one. Some of the boys had not had cheerios or puffs at one, nothing small and chewy, just purees and pouches. It would seem that they would continue to be way behind, but three months later, they are all basically at the same place. She'll eat what she wants when she's ready and in a few months, I bet this is no longer a worry!
ReplyDeleteKudos to you for flying and crossing time zones and all that jazz with a baby. It sounds awful! I hope you had a FANTASTIC time in Hawaii and celebrating your birthday.
Sorry the flight back from Hawaii was rough- we had a similar flight back from our Hawaii trip in February where Izzy cried for about 20 minutes before finally passing out. As long as you were trying to calm Kate down (which it sounds like you were), people can't be mad.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the food stuff, why can't you give eggs and fish before the 1 yr mark? We certainly did. And don't worry about purees vs. BLW. Izzy LOVED the pouches which we kept on hand for when we were out and about when she was younger. We certainly did purees for a while and didn't move on to chunky food until later on.
Yay for walking!
Fun times! laughing at the story of how you watch the chairs moving around to see where she is!
ReplyDeleteWith regards to the food, it's going to be messy and a lot of experimentation no matter what you do, so just keep trying things and going with it. As long as you are offering a variety of healthy foods it really doesn't matter what form they are in.
That sounds like a rough flight!! 2 hours and 20 min was my flight with Olivia and she slept the whole time (thankfully, since I was alone).
ReplyDeleteI can't believe she's walking. It's crazy how she is ALMOST a year old and it make me shake my head. Why does this first year have to go by so fast?
So much of this sounds so familiar! Q STILL loves shoving chairs (or anything else that will move) around. It makes me wish we had a much bigger house since he only gets to push for about three seconds before he's banging into something. As for food, we went through a phase with Q around 12 months where he just wasn't really interested in eating anything, it seemed. Most of it ended up on the floor and even being in the high chair was a battle. Buddy got a lot of extra food at that point, so yes I definitely recommend a dog for baby food cleanup! Q has now gone back to eating pretty well (although he's started rejecting veggies except for the godforsaken white potato...sigh) but we still end up with a mess on the floor. Now that it's summer, we plan on eating a lot of meals outside on our patio...cleanup is so much easier that way! And yes, blueberries. They are the shit! Can't believe she's almost one!
ReplyDeleteI laughed through this because I can relate to so much including the dangerous fascination with nightstands. Our ped said the rule of thumb for portion goals in a tablespoon of each food group for however years old she is per meal. So, 1 tblsp meat, dairy, veg, etc per meal. That's the lofty goal, she probably won't eat it all, but just keep offering. Don't hesitate to offer foods she's previously rejected. It can take up to 20 attempts before some kids will like a food. And I agree with the previous comments, the most recent AAP suggestion is not to hesitate offering common allergens, they're finding less allergies in children who were exposed sooner than later in contrast to previous speculation about the opposite. The caveat is unless the parents have a lot of allegies themselves, then you tread lightly. I always have a bottle kids Benadryl on hand when introducing new known allergens, luckily, I've never efen cracked the seal. You're doing a great job mumma!
ReplyDeleteOy, I'm sorry for the awful flight. And a little concerned, since we just booked several long-distance flights... By the way, if you're around in early August and have time to meet up for coffee or so, let me know :)
ReplyDeleteWe were in the "throwing food to the floor" stage for a long time. It feels like we're finally leaving it behind, at least on some days. Maddie's point about food and affluence makes a lot of sense.