Two weeks after the Plan B incident I Pee On A Stick (POAS) and get a Big Fat Negative (BFN). Little do I know this will become my routine for the next year and beyond. There was a sense of relief, but I wouldn’t have been disappointed if had been positive. Even at that time I had the perpective to know what is important. Yes, seeing the Olympics in your home country is a once in a life time opportunity, but I also know that pregnancy could be as well. It seems that the Plan B was successful in blocking ovulation as Aunt Flo (AF) didn’t arrive for two months. I began to panic that my ovaries weren’t functioning and the day I was scheduled to go in for bloodwork AF arrived. I had the giddiness of an adolescent girl who got her first period. Finally, I felt like we were cleared for takeoff.
It seemed like such a simple plan, have sex every other night during my fertile time and within a few months be pregnant. I should mention that that I am involved in women’s healthcare, although most of my exeperience has been helping women not get pregnant, hence I thought I had this upper hand in this procreation process. I also remembered my mentor telling me how she got pregnant on the first time she tried as she bragged that she knew “exactly what she was doing.” I felt like I had to live up to her record to prove what I had learned from her and had become a successful practitioner in my own right.
So we began, night one of bang week –success! Then two nights later I came home and tried to engage Husband. “Okay” he replied, excited about the idea. He then informed me, “it may take a while, I had a wank today”. “WHAT?” I exclaimed! Was I being too sublte by drawing little astricks on our calendar to let him know this was bang week? “You can’t wank during bang week!” Husband claimed ignorance, although he is a scientist, he couldn’t figure out that you shouldn’t waste your emissions when you’re trying to conceive.
As it turned out, we quickly learned that we’re not as young as we were when we met, and the frequent coitus was taking a toll on both of us. (yes, the term ‘coitus’ and phrase ‘bang week’ is a reference to The Big Bang Theory) So ovulation predictor kits seemed to be the next logical step. I was initially resistent to use them, as I always felt it could add more pressure to the act, but now it was seeming like a neccessity.
Like any woman who doesn’t know she has fertility problems, I bought the cheap version of the OPK. The simple two lines, one is darker that the other test. Howevere, deciphering the shades of darkness turned out to be more difficult that I thought. I felt like I was at my eye doctor and had to judge ‘better one or better two’. I wasn’t sure if I ever got a positive result.
Meanwhile, one day at work, I get a call from my best friend Myrtle. “How do you read a home pregnancy test?” she asked without any greeting. A bit befuddled, I tried walking her through identifying the control versus the test line. She wasn’t understanding my directions and blurted out “Oh great, so I don’t know if I’m pregnant or not!” Oh boy, are you going to be fun if you are! I suggested she go to her doctor for a blood draw or try a digital home test, but I already knew the results. I knew she was positive. I figured she manipulated her pills to avoid having her period during her honeymoon and conceived on her first or second try. I was immediately happy for her, but I could feel the jealousy start to brew…