Sunday, 10 February 2013

We were on a break!

So, I could be frustrated about having to sit on the sidelines and be benched from trying to conceive for a while, but I'd rather find ways to enjoy taking a break from this process. I was so annoyed that I had to miss two months of opportunities right after my miscarriage, but after discovering that I have a septum that needs to be resected, I started to consider that maybe the Universe was acting in my favour to make sure I was able to address it before becoming pregnant again. Then I started to appreciate just how helpful a break could be.

The Thrill of the Pill
I want to recapture the excitement I felt when I had my first prescription for Desogen, I was a responsible hoping to be sexually active female eager for experience. I remember the sweet feeling of validation when I swallowed my first post coital pill. I loved being in the club of women who were labelled 'on the pill'. I declined my RE's offer for a prescription and instead picked up a package from a friend who works at Planned Parenthood. I felt like I was back in my early 20s and could reminisce about when Husband and I first met. As I'm getting closer to 40, I'll take anything that allows me to reclaim some of my youth.
The Joy of Sex
It does annoy me that for most "normal" fertile couples, the procreation process involves having lots of enjoyable sex. When you combine an irregular ovulater with moderate male factor, we have to take a stab and determining when I will ovulate and make sure Husband has a three day run up. The act is totally obligatory and usually there are other factors of inconvenience present to make sure the mood is dampened. Pressure free, non-procreative, pleasure fucking is so much better.
Is Mr Freely there? Initials I.P.
My bladder has a relatively small capacity and I drink a lot of water during the day. I'm also a light sleeper. These three features are not a good combination. During my follicular phase, I'll wake up if one of our cats jumps on or off the bed and realise that I need to go to the bathroom. Unfortunately, I can't go, as I need to have at least four hours of concentrated urine to submit during the designated time for my fertility monitor. I must try to go back to sleep and dream about the Sahara desert...
It's Always 5 o'clock Somewhere...
Not that I am a huge drinker, but it's nice to know I can have a glass of wine after a stressful day, or accept an invite to join a friend for cocktails without needing an excuse for not drinking.
The Freedom from 'what if...'
At least for the next few months I can enjoy making plans without having to consider a possible pregnancy
Protection from disappointment
I've already lost due to the 'you can't win if you don't play' rules, which is frustrating in itself, but sometimes it's easier to accept being disqualified for a technicality than admitting that you failed outright.

Most of all, I will not be thinking that we could be one of the couples who conceive while they were taking a break.


  1. Wouldn't it be nice to one of those couples? I actually thought about this the other day, as we'll be on holiday when I ovulate and I actually thought "But if we conceive naturally then I shouldn't have that endo biopsy on the 26th before my FET!" Then I laughed at myself for being so silly. I'm glad you can find some ways to have fun while being benched.

  2. Although at times the breaks are SO FRUSTRATING, they can be great for you and your marriage. While waiting for my insurance to kick in and my first IVF cycle it's been nice to just have sex to have sex (I've long given up on the hope that we are actually going to get pregnant naturally)....although the Lupron does NOT help with my sex drive.

  3. I took a break from IVF but never a true break from TTC. I kept hoping we would be one of those couples. But that really is just crazy talk. I have never been the lucky type. It probably would have served me better to take a real break and just not think about it at all.
    Enjoy your wine!!!!

  4. It IS kind of crazy how many couples end up conceiving while taking a break... but of course, it isn't technically the norm, so don't get your hopes up. :) Definitely enjoy the wine and the sex for the sake of sex -- such freedom!

  5. It's great to think positively between cycles, I find it really helpful. Although sometimes it is easy to fall back into irritated-mode. Thanks for reminding me of all the things I have to be thankful for too.

  6. Every time I read your title to this post, I think of Ross and Rachel from Friends. Ross "We were on a BREAK!"

    I'm glad you can see some positives to this break you are on. It is nice to not have to worry about it for a little bit, especially because you know you will be pursuing parenthood again before too long.

  7. You are so awesome for seeing the positive in this time and taking the time to point it out to us! Being on a break is awesome - mostly for the martinis and spontaneous intercourse! enjoy!!