I received an email bearing a birth announcement. A baby boy was born weighing 8 lbs 5 oz. If nothing else comes from our procreation pursuit, I'll always know I had a hand in bringing this baby into the world at this time. Let me explain further...
Colleen and I were old work colleagues, and we occasionally run into each other at various lectures and continuing medical education seminars. When I saw her last February, she asked if we had any plans for pregnancy and I told her that I started using Clomid. Mostly, I wanted another professional opinion to tell me if I were crazy for taking such a step so soon. "Absolutely not!" she said "might as well make short work of it!" (Oh, so funny now) I didn't ask her if she had any pregnancy plans. She and her long term partner of over ten years had just wed a few months ago. They went to Hawaii for a holiday and decided two days before they left to get married "while they were there". I figured it would take them a few more years to decide about having children.
We met up again in May, she was hoping I had some pregnancy news, but we had just learned about Husband's semen analysis. I told her that we would most likely be starting IUI for infertility treatments. She had the typical 'this seems awkward; I don't know what to say, but I'm going to come up with something that sounds positive and not condescending' response.
Three months later we bumped into each other again. "So are you pregnant yet?" she asked with a big smile. I filled her in, we hadn't done any IUI treatments as we were waiting for Husband to start Clomid. I was in a 2ww at that time, but not really optimistic. I could sense what she was going to tell me. "I'm pregnant," she revealed. "Wow so soon!" I commented, and joked about how long I thought it was going to take them to start the process given how long they waited to get married. "Well," she admitted "I'm a little older than you and when I heard that you were having issues, we figured we would get started quickly." She got pregnant immediately after removing her IUD.
I was gobsmacked. A month earlier, Dr Somebody I Used to Know informed us that we didn't yet have a diagnosis of infertility, but now I had one. When you've become someone else's cautionary tale, you know you're infertile. (BTW, if you don't already follow her blog, check out Risa at Who Shot Down my Stork? who posted a brilliant list entitled "You might be infertile if....") My infertility prompted them to start trying ASAP and their son was conceived on their first attempt. I like to think I can take credit for an assist.
Haha! I definitely think you get an assist on this one! Although I'm sorry, as I'm sure it also probably stung a little bit.
ReplyDeleteI love Risa and that was a great post she did, She is so funny!
I've been a few people's cautionary tales so I can sympathize with you. A few close friends who are a bit older than me but still not married have told me they are getting anxiety to get the ring so they can move on to trying to conceive "before it's too late, and just in case we have problems like you guys" I'm glad I can raise awareness about infertility and adoption, although there are definitely some days when I wish I didn't have to.
ReplyDeleteUgh. No one wants to be a cautionary tale.
ReplyDeleteI think you should get naming rights or something. That particular kid really only exists because of you.
GAWD! I should have added that to the list. Being someone's cautionary tale. I guess there is always part two. Seriously, I feel for you though. <3
ReplyDeleteI had something similar happen last week. My best friend had some mid-cycle bleeding through her pill. She called me because she knows that I am all-knowing when it comes to women's cycles/weird bleeding/etc. (kidding) She did go to her doctor, but wanted to see if I had any ideas of what is going on.
ReplyDeleteYou know you are an infertile when your friends call you and ask for medical advice based on your experience.
Oh my gosh, I actually made the mistake of going on and on to my friend about how it's a freakin' MIRACLE that anybody actually gets pregnant, especially in their 30s, because a million things have to fall into place at once and the likelihood is so slim, etc. etc. A month later, she got knocked up accidentally -- thinking she could probably "relax" a bit with her contraception, considering how difficult it had been for me. YIKES!
ReplyDeleteI've actually also been told that my difficulty has influenced others' baby-making behavior. It's unsettling! No one wants to be the bad example. It's kind of a passive dig against something over which you have no control. "Lentil, screwed that up, so we better do everything we can not to be like her!" Gahhhh.
ReplyDeleteI know it's totally unsettling and they're the ones who get pregnant right away and then freak out about it!
DeleteYikes. That's not cool. Hopefully at some point you'll be her success tale that she is telling to other people that she meets who are going through infertility. Like, "I have this friend at work, and she had a uterine septum fixed, and she got pregnant right away!" Too much to hope for?
ReplyDeleteProbably, but would be awesome!
DeleteI have one of those too! My BFF started trying and got pregnant just as we were at the one year mark of official infertility. And now she has a 9 month old.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you got that septum out :)