Last Ditch Attempt

Oh, Gametes... if ever there was a more opportune moment for you...

This was our last ditch IUI attempt before moving forward with IVF. There were two co-dominant follicles and 4 million sperm with 75% motility and a progression score of 4. We led you to the Fallopian tube; all you had to do was fertilise, find your way to the uterus and implant. Is that really so hard? Have you seen some of the people getting pregnant out there? Did you watch Jersey Shore?

There were so many distractions in our lives during this 2WW that our gametes could have been happily doing their thing without us obsessing about them. The day after the IUI we jumped on the plane to head to Arkansas. A long weekend with the ex-pats (none seem to be planning for children at this time) provided a perfect distraction. The only trouble with spending a weekend away is that you don't get any chores done, so when we returned, our evenings were filled with laundry and cleaning. I was working 11 hour days to try to catch up after taking a couple of extra days out of the office.

As we're less than two weeks away from the in-law invasion, we've been getting the house into dress-to-impress mode (which is also operation hide everything procreation and infertility related). We had the hall carpet professionally cleaned a few months ago, but the beige colour still exposes the heavy traffic in that area, so we decided to replace it with a darker colour. This also gave us the opportunity to fix a defect in the subfloor. There was an 1/8th of an inch gap between two boards, which may not seem that significant, but if your foot caught it in the right place, you could feel yourself sink a little. A few applications of filler made it even. I can add "leveled subfloor" to my list of DIY skills. I also touched up all the trim paint. Additionally, we got around to hanging up some artwork on our bare walls.

We finally gave some attention to our much neglected gardens. We have to keep the front of the house neat, or else we'll be reprimanded from the Homeowner's Association, but the back garden hasn't seen a rake all summer. Husband pruned the way overgrown bushes, while I power washed our deck. It's still in a very sad state, but as Aramis would describe, at least it no longer looks like we're drug dealers.

When we first moved into our house and were still in the process of renovating, we didn't have the extra funds for a proper bed for the guest room. I purchased a double level air mattress from Target for $45 and left it up full time. For more than three years it has served as a decorative purpose, and many of our guests found it surprisingly comfortable. It would not be suitable for my in-laws who each have artificial hips, and as we've had the same mattress for just over ten years, we decided to get a new bed and move ours to the guest room. Husband had been complaining about our mattress for years, and while I thought it was fine, I didn't realise how bad it was until our new bed arrived. Additionally, I have a patient who works at Macy*s, who hooked us up with a sale on linens and bath towels. We also purchased a new sofa and loveseat, as ours were looking rather tattered. Love stores with the no interest financing plans!

My 2013 Challenge to see what would occur first -getting pregnant or finishing painting the cabinet and trim in out kitchen- became skewed toward the kitchen goal. Apparently, it became a deadline to finished the cabinets before the in-law arrival, and their visit led us to delay starting IVF. I completed a batch of five upper cabinet doors, and I've been painting in the evenings to try to finish the final two doors. I'm hoping my father can install the upper moulding for us during his visit. Then, I'll still need to caulk and install some side pieces of trim, which will need a touch of paint; so depending on how motivated I am, there may be a chance that a conception could win the challenge.


I had also been so busy at work that I barely had time to go to the bathroom, let alone to text Husband with quarterly updates. Finally, it dawned on me. Oh yeah, my IUI was two weeks ago... I hadn't been inspecting the toilet tissue, but there was no obvious sign of AF. I pulled my hair down and put the tie around my wrist. I was starting to hear some echoes from my patients:

"We had given up thinking we could become pregnant and lo and behold!" Snap.
"We were so busy, I had forgotten when my period was due!" Snap.
"We were going to start IVF next month!" Snap. Snap.

As Husband had to umpire a high school hockey match, I was on my own that night. I left the gym late and AF still hasn't made her presence known. It was 8 PM, if I could go another 12 hours, I'd be in uncharted territory. Then, whilst I was in a queue at Safeway, I had the feeling that she was imminent. When I arrived at home, my intuition was validated.

Oh Gametes, you failed to seize your moment of opportunity. As we're proceeding with IVF, I won't be as forgiving. You better be ready to perform. End of story.