To Boldly Go Where No Embryo Has Gone Before...

8 weeks and 4 days. Well, technically, I was 8 weeks and 6 days by the time I had my D&C for my ill-fated second pregnancy. Ah, what a difference a year, two failed FETs, a second stim cycle, CCS testing, yet another failed transfer, Lupron, Labetalol, Laminaria, reduced estrogen and baby aspirin can make! My RE returned from his trip and I had my second scan on his first day back in the office. "Things could not look any better!" he proclaimed, as he tapped my leg not once, not twice, but three times during the ultrasound. He invited Husband to stand by his side as he scanned and he gave him a detailed tour on the ultrasound monitor, while I watched from the screen mounted on the ceiling. As Husband often felt left out during my visits, I think he really appreciated that Dr STIUTK gave him his own explanation.

Something else marked my venture into unchartered territory. Around six-ish weeks, I had brought leftover chicken curry for lunch, but the thought of it was making me queasy. I skipped lunch and not surprisingly, I was starving later that night. Yet, there wasn't anything that I wanted to eat. A persistent wave of nausea has invaded my life. I also have a weird metallic taste in my mouth. Although it has been to no avail, I've been brushing my teeth multiple times per day.  At least it may improve my next dental cleaning.

A few years ago, I participated in a panel discussion on nausea and vomiting in pregnancy. The facilitators presented a survey comparing clinicians' and patients' perception on this prevalent symptom. As anticipated, the clinicians rated their highest concerns over patients who were actually vomiting, as they could be suffering from dehydration, weight loss, electrolyte imbalances and ketonuria. Interestingly, patients expressed more distress over their nausea. Many reported that they actually felt better after throwing up. I have to confess that I've considered attempting a tactical chunder on a few occasions. Additionally, patients described that they experienced a loss of pleasure and enjoyment with eating during this time. A few participants on the panel described that certain aversions encountered during their pregnancies became permanent. A man commented that both of his kids are in college and his wife has never been able to return to Bos.ton Market. Another woman with grandchildren revealed that she still can't eat hot and sour soup.

I've discovered this is not necessarily a bad thing. I'm ashamed to admit that I had a bad Co.ke Zero habit and I fretted over how I would be able to give it up when/if I ever became pregnant. Not a problem when you have absolutely no desire for it. I began to look at my symptomatic state as a way of doing my own 30 day reset. Unfortunately, I also don't have much on an appetite even for healthy foods. I have been able to reclaim some pleasure in eating by recalling some long lost favourites. In what can be considered my first craving, I braved the madness of shopping at Safe.way on the night before Thanksgiving to pick up a bag of frozen Tater Tots. I think the last time I ate them was when I was 10. Oh yeah, they are still so good!  I've also had to bring bread back into my life as toast has become the one and only thing I want to eat. I'll have a few pieces with a cup of Safe.way Organic Tomato Soup. It's become my go-to meal.

I hope I don't come across as complaining, as I'm very thankful to be in this state, and in a strange way, I appreciate my nausea. I know it's not necessarily reassuring, but it helps me remember that I am actually pregnant. Maybe, it might actually be for real.