Friday 17 July 2015

Welcome To This World...

During the last few weeks of my pregnancy, Myrtle and a few others asked if I had become so uncomfortable that I reached that point of being nearly desperate to get the baby out. I was still enjoying the pregnancy so much, even at the end, that I never felt such an urgency. Until the very last day. My carpel tunnel syndrome was in full rage. Performing the simplest task induced agony and on a few occasions brought me to tears. I felt so pathetic. Other women would be experiencing labour pains on the day before their baby's arrival. I was crippled by pains in my hands. How lame.

I was amazed at how much we got done and were able to cross off our 'to do list'. Although I pushed to get most tasks accomplished on Friday and Saturday, so that we could enjoy a leisurely Sunday and last day baby free, it didn't exactly happen as we were still working right up until we went to bed, which was probably a good thing. My case ended up getting moved to 9:30, which was also to our benefit as someone correctly predicted, we didn't get much sleep. Tyler stayed by my side for the entire night. It was so hard to believe this day had finally arrived. My transfer was just before Halloween and I delivered after the 4th of July. I was pregnant through Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Day, Easter, and Memorial Day. My pregnancy extended through the Australian Open, French Open, Wimbledon and the Women's World Cup. That's a long duration.

I had come to terms mentally with a C/section, but it's not really possible to prepare physically, even when you know what to expect. The anesthetist was awesome and she got my spinal in on the first try. The warm and heavy sensation in my legs was weird, but not unpleasant. For some reason, when she placed the wedge under my right shoulder, a sense of panic took hold. I'm not sure if claustrophobia is the correct term, but it reminded me of the anxiety during my MRI. I was very aware that I couldn't move and people would be doing things to me. I wanted to bail. I changed my mind, I would rather take my chance with an induction and potential blood bath of a delivery, just so I could have some control. Yet, I knew I would end up back in this OR, only it would be an emergency case and instead of everyone enjoying pleasant banter as they prepped me, there would be a frantic sense of urgency. I thought about asking for some Ati.van, but realised it's probably not recommended as some would go to the baby. I was considering going under general, but then Husband was brought into the room and he sat beside me. I wanted to remain awake so I could share this experience with him.

The occlusion drape was stretched very high. "It's like you're playing tents as a kid..." the anesthesiologist joked. I couldn't see anything that was going on. I held Husband's hand and closed my eyes as I went through the procedure in my mind as soon as I heard my OB announce to the anesthesiologist that she was making her incision. Skin incision done. Knife back to the OR tech, Bovie to slice through the subcutaneous layer. Stop to cauterise any bleeding vessels... Identify and open the fascia. Place the retractors to protect the bladder. Knife for the uterine incision, work through the lower segment. Bandage scissors to extend the uterine incision. Break the amniotic sac...

Then I sensed the pressure on my abdomen as they worked to delivery my baby. I was in a state of sensory deprivation except for my hearing. I heard a crying sound. It was a loud penetrating wail. A sound that I'll never forget. "That's our baby!" I said to Husband, "That's our baby crying!" My own eyes were weepy. As his hand was still in mine, I felt all the stress and tension that he had been carrying for nine months leave his body. The empty shampoo bottle that he refused to throw away because he used the last amount on the day of our beta test. The pregnancy related webpages on his phone that he refused to delete as he didn't want to tempt fate. It all went away. I know it would only be a matter of time before he would find new sources of stress, but for that moment; it was gone.

First Family Photo

They invited him to look at the baby to announce the gender. Although it was concealed by his mask, I could tell he had a big smile on his face. "Kate is here." He informed me. Wait... "Does that mean what I think it does?" I asked. "Yes, Jane. A girl." (I would later learn that he also double checked with the pediatrician before he was sure she was a girl) Truth be told, I may have had a heads up. I didn't share this with anyone, but at my very last scan, the tech may have slipped. As I was sharing how baby had been flipping in and out of the transverse position, the tech noted, "Well, hopefully she or he!" she quickly added "will stay head down...." The look on her face was more telling than her words. Yet, I still wasn't completely convinced, so it truly was a surprise.

Yes, It's a Girl!

Husband accompanied Kate to the nursery and I closed my eyes until the surgery was complete. My OB described that the placenta was very low and the only way I could have had a vaginal delivery would have been if her head were fully engaged and would have applied pressure to tamponade the placenta. She was relieved that the blood loss was much less than expected, but commented that my placenta was very "sticky". So perhaps even without the marginal previa, I could have ended up in the OR needing a  D+C and transfusion after the delivery. I'm so glad not to have that drama, as I was able to meet Kate in the recovery room right away. The nurse placed her on me and she lifted her head as if to look around before latching on straight away. The nurse was quite impressed. I felt rather proud. That's our girl.

I knew that I loved her from that first moment, but it would take some time before I appreciated just what that love felt like. She was still a stranger. I couldn't believe that she was mine. Each day the bond grows stronger, but what really makes my heart melt is seeing how much Husband loves her. Fatherhood suits him perfectly.


The recovery from the C/section was much easier than I anticipated. I was able to just use Motrin for pain relief and I no longer needed any meds by post-op day #4. Getting in and out of the hospital bed was tough, but not nearly as excruciating as getting in and out of the car. Upon bringing her home, I let out the first string of expletives in front of my daughter.

Could.Not.Resist.this onesie 

Here's my 'I've experienced this once, so now I'm an expert' words of advice for anyone with an upcoming delivery: do not accept any visitors in the hospital. Some people actually wanted to come to visit on the day of my surgery. It was easy to say "No" as I was groggy and puking every 20 minutes. However the next day, once I had my IV removed and could tolerate PO liquids and foods, I felt back to my old self and I expected to act that way.  I almost didn't feel that I should be in a hospital. My parents arrived around 2 in the afternoon, and after they each had a chance to hold her, I continued her feeding schedule under a modesty cover. Since Kate latched so effectively, I didn't pay as much attention to her latch, and I wasn't hand expressing some colostrum to encourage her, as the nurses had suggested. As a result, I had a baby who spent the day exerting much effort, only to get very little colostrum in return, which made for a very fussy baby and a baby who lost 9% of her weight and we needed to start formula with a Supplemental Nursing System (SNS). I hadn't pushed fluids as aggressively as I should have been. I felt guilty, so the next day, I was determined not to let anything affect the baby's feeding efforts. However, I thought I saw a window of opportunity to feed her before my parents arrived in the afternoon, so I decided to wake her to feed. Huge mistake. She was so pissed off that she didn't want anything to do with feeding and refused to latch. We were regressing. Now I had a baby who was on the bubble of losing too much weight, who wouldn't feed and I realised that she hadn't had a wet diaper since the night shift.  Meanwhile, my mother was trying to talk to me about her friend's son's drug problem. The nurses had suggested that I try to pump some colostrum for the SNS. One of husband's (male) hockey friends was going to try to stop by that day. It was time to put up the Do Not Disturb sign. I told Husband to cancel any visitors and he came up with a clever rouse to take my parents on a walk to Starbucks, so I could have the room to myself to pump. I know everyone will be anxious to see the baby, but your recovery time needs to be for you and your baby. Entertaining my parents was distracting my focus from Kate and taking care of myself. As there isn't an established routine, it's hard to anticipate when would be a good time for visitors and since modesty and privacy are important to me, I didn't want any guests walking in while I was nursing or pumping.

I can't say enough about how amazing the postpartum nurses were. Our LA friends, who delivered via Caesarean a few months ago, encouraged us to take advantage of the extended hospital stay by asking lots of questions. The nurses shared many tricks and tips, and tried to install confidence that we would manage as we embarked upon this adventure called parenting.


Home. We are going... 

29 comments:

  1. I'm absolutely overjoyed for you. I've got chills reading about baby Kate (!!) finally here, in your arms. Looking forward to pictures of the baby in her natural habitat and seeing that nursery filled!

    And I'm so happy that it went well. What a blessing.

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  2. Congrats on your precious baby girl!!! So glad to hear everything went well. I'm already thinking about the privacy for a few days thing, it just seems like it's very much needed and this confirms that.

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  3. Ok so now I'm crying. She's just perfect! And totally agree with the privacy thing. I don't know what my situation will be but if it's overtiring or whatnot, yes, no to visitors. Enjoy being a family of three!

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  4. Hooray!!
    We have had feeding problems too, and I'm sure some of it had to do with too many visitors. You're smart.

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  5. Congratulations! What a wonderful day to remember forever. You look so happy and contented. Welcome to the world, Kate!

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  6. I will have to come back and read the full entry but oh, so happy for you! Tearing up at your photos. So much happiness! Welcome baby Kate!

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  7. I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat! I am so beyond happy for you! A girl! Kate is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Congratulations!!!!!

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  8. Congratulations!! Such great pictures and stories that will never be forgotten :)

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  9. Here she is, friend. :) I am so happy you are taking good care of yourself and the baby. Beautiful photos. <3

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  10. I knew it! I knew you would be the one to recover from your c-section in like 5 minutes. haha.
    My husband likes to call the NICU "Baby Bootcamp". He asked those nurses everything and we learned so many tricks and techniques. The nurses really are amazing.

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  11. Yayayay! Congratulations on beautiful baby Kate. I got all teary eyed when I read that you got your little girl. So happy for you and your little family!

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  12. Yeeeessss! I've been patiently waiting for this! Congratulations!!! Kate is so beautiful! I'm, so, so happy for you, Jane! You deserve this happiness and all the joy she brings for years and years to come.

    PS Best onesie EVER!

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  13. Ahhh--congratulations Jane. She's just absolutely beautiful. Hearing baby's first cry is magical, I tear up just thinking about it.

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  14. Congratulations, I'm so glad that your delivery went so well.

    I completely agree about no visitors. I wish I had known that before my delivery.

    I hope things are still going well for you 3.

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  15. A million congratulations, I am so thrilled that she is here safely! And Kate, what a beautiful name, love it. Hope you are home and doing well and my only advice is that it gets easier every week :)

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  16. Congratulations! She's just beautiful. So glad to hear everything is going well.

    Also, I agree that watching my husband fall in love with her was almost as good as loving her myself.

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  17. Yay!! Congrats! She is adorable & I'm so glad that everything went well with the delivery.

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  18. Congratulations!!! She's a beautiful little baby, and I'm so glad everything went well for her arrival. I am so incredibly happy for you two.

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  19. So overjoyed for you. You and baby look amazing. Congratulations Mama!!!!

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  20. So so so very happy for you! Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl!

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  21. Wow, somehow those last weeks of your pregnancy flew by - congratulations Jane and welcome Kate!! I'm so happy you are all doing well! (And very impressed you manage to blog so much with a newborn in the house!)
    I never got around to blogging around this, but SB also lost quite some weight (9% on day 2) and we had to use SNS to supplement. With formula as my milk hadn't come in yet (not sure why nobody suggested I pump colostrum, although when I/the lactation consultant did try to pump it was more painful than any pumping later...) Anyway, hang in there. I hope Kate outgrows the need for SNS quickly. Enjoy getting to know your daughter :)

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  22. Congratulations Jane! Your perfect little girl at last.

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  23. Welcome, Kate!!! I am thrilled to read this update and so very happy for you. How amazing that everything went well and good for you for realizing you needed to put a stop to the visitors. It is funny how, even with all the help you have at the hospital, there is still a lot to do to keep the little one healthy and happy. Seriously, just overjoyed for you all.

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  24. Welcome to the world, Kate! I am so very happy for you, Jane. Our lives have been intertwined by our experiences and your birth story brought me to tears. All is right with the world. Jane had her baby. Makes me so very happy!!! Kate is beautiful! I loved all the photos. A very heartfelt Congratulations!

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  25. Welcome Kate! We are so glad that you are finally here!

    I agree to the no visitors in the hospital thing- at least if they are going to stay more than a few minutes. My sister and boyfriend came as I was in the recovery room with Izzy but didn't stay long. My parents came for a while- but I just decided that I would whip out my boobs in front of them. If they were uncomfortable I just didn't care. :-)

    Hope everyone is doing well at home!

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  26. Yay!!! Congratulations! What a beauty! My mom was very insistent that for the first week I should keep visitors at a very strict minimum and just stay in bed and establish a nursing relationship. I didn't realize until we were in the thick of it how right she was...yeah, I said it. My mom was right. Some babies are born knowing just what to do and other babies need to practice a while. Glad you guys are figuring out!

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  27. I can't believe I missed this announcement. I have a mind to delete my blog feed app in retaliation. I can't say that there is much anticipation left for anyone else now that baby Kate is here! Congratulations Mommy (or is it Mummy)! Thank you for sharing these beautiful photos of such precious moments. You have successfully dodged all of the mine fields of a complicated pregnancy. Isn't it amazing when all of your dreams come true? Albeit with some compromise, you have truly proven that it *was yours to command all along.

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  28. I was thinking of you the other day as I haven't read blogs in forever and now see she is here!!! Congrats mama! I am so so happy for you!! Hope you are all doing well, she is beautiful!

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