*Spoiler Alert: Although if you haven't read this book, you must add it to your reading list!*
Grover, the most beloved Sesame Street character until Elmo was introduced, had received some inside information that there is a Monster at the end of the book you are reading. He begs and pleads with the reader not to turn any pages, which will bring them face to face with the Monster. When that fails, he attempts to tie the pages together and even builds a brick wall to thwart any further page turning. It was one of my favourite books as a child, perhaps because my mother could do a pretty good imitation of Grover freaking out.
Suddenly it made sense why I was randomly thinking about that book from my childhood. I didn't actually want the two week wait to end. Each passing day was like turning a page, and would bring me closer to the BFN Monster at the end of the week. I wanted to prolong not being not pregnant as long as possible.
For the record, I did hold out on testing. Husband reminded me that even when I was pregnant, my second line was so faint you had to squint as if you were looking at those 3-D posters that were all the rave in our college days. I also came across the episode of Seinfeld where George contemplates telling his girlfriend that he loves her. "Are you confident in the 'I love you' return?" Jerry inquires. "Otherwise, that's a pretty big Matzah Ball you've left hanging." As soon as I knew that I was most likely guaranteed a second line, I broke out my lone First Response Early Result test (a gift that accompanied the Endometrin, which I was also saving for when/if I became pregnant again). I didn't break Aramis's record of twenty seconds, but the colour in the test line came through before the control line. That had never happened to me before.
Obligatory FRER Picture |
What beautiful lines!! What lovely FRER that is!!
ReplyDeleteJane, I absolutely love the comparison to that book. It makes perfect sense. I'm going to have to find that book for my twins. That line is beautiful and makes me so happy for you!
ReplyDeleteI am loving how this story is unfolding! I'm assuming this is a three day difference, but I'll take the chance to taunt you with a potential cleaving and identical twins ;)
ReplyDeleteSuch a gorgeous, clear line!! Beautiful :) Very excited for you!
ReplyDeletelove <3
ReplyDeleteWonderful post! Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteYes!!!! So wonderful! I really love this, and I distinctly remember feeling the same way… that the possibility of being pregnant, even with all the awfulness of the two week wait, was far better than the reality of a BFN.
ReplyDeleteFantastic second beta! Congratulations!
Wow, that's a positive pee stick if I've ever seen one! (Which I haven't, because I was too scared to test)
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like a great kids book, I'll have to get it.
I am so so so happy for you. I can't wait to read your next updates.
So so beautiful. So happy for you.
ReplyDeleteNice dark line there! I am trying to remember how many embies you transferred. Is there any possibility this is twins? That's a pretty heft jump in numbers! Either way, this one is here to stay. woo hoo!
ReplyDeleteAwesome doubling time, Jane. I'm with you--sometimes it's just nice not to know. I didn't say this on my post, but I tested earlier than I said, 6dp5dt (I know, what was I thinking?!?!?) and it was negative. It was the worst idea ever, because although I felt it might be working, that test was telling me it wasn't. No Grover that day. I'm kind of afraid to repee because I'm afraid that it'll be lighter; I'm really enjoying this I'm pregnant place I'm in right now.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love this analogy because it's just so perfect. I think I'll always remember my last 2ww on 8dp5dt, the night before I had decided to test, just breaking down and crying uncontrollably because I was so afraid of what would happen the next day. Just think how fitting it will be when you are reading your child this book in a couple years' time (because YES I think this is IT!).
ReplyDeleteThis is perfect. This is exactly why I never tested until my period was late. As long as I didn't test, I didn't have to see the BFN Monster. Your test looks great! Pick up a copy of that book so you can share this with your little one (maybe not the POAS part, but the facing your fears part).
ReplyDeleteThis post makes me so happy! Congrats on your awesome second Beta and I think you just described what all of us feel during the 2ww. So very happy for you friend!
ReplyDeleteI can feel your happiness coming through and I am so happy for you, my friend! I am assuming you meant replaying Misery's message, not replying. If you replied three times, then I want to know what Misery had to say! Ha! (You showed her! You must feel so validated.)
ReplyDeleteI know it's early, but I'd love to read an eventual post discussing your take-away. Was it all your research? Was it the egg quality, the better transfer and a bit of luck?
I love that so many Moms are on here congratulating you! Enjoy this moment.
By the way, I always loved that Grover book!
Thanks for catching my typo! You're right, it would have bugged the shit out of her if I send three replies -what a delicious thought.
DeleteIt is a little too early to speculate, and impossible to know the ultimate determining factor, since we changed so many variables, but the smooth transfer procedure was significant, especially since my previous three had been challenging.
Honestly, despite all the articles I read, the most useful research was from other bloggers. When I learned that CCRM and other clinics may cancel a transfer for a lining that is near 15 mm, it really made me question mine. Of course I am totally going to take credit for the idea to reduce my estrogen priming!
I LOVE this post! And I love your tie in to The Monster at the End of the Book (going to go buy that book now...). I am so happy for you, Jane :D Can't stop smiling!
ReplyDeleteI am so happy for you! I wanted to POAS before all of my betas but my husband and sister would not let me. I can remember dreading those phone calls with the results. I am going to go buy that book for my twin boys first birthday.
ReplyDeleteWoo hoo!! 839 is so fantastic, that is a crazy good doubling time!! When is your first ultrasound? And I had forgotten all about The Monster at the End of the Book, I need to add that to my library - love that one.
ReplyDeleteOh Jane!!!! I am so happy for you. What incredible news. This is amazing.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!!
ReplyDeleteYayyyyy!!!!! Best news ever! So happy for you!!!
ReplyDeleteSo great!! Love the story and the news!
ReplyDeleteLove this post! Congrats!
ReplyDeleteI loved that book!!! And this post just made my day. So incredibly happy for you.
ReplyDeleteThat is also my favorite childhood book! I can't wait for my current daycare kids to be old enough to appreciate that book. :) Congratulations...so happy for you!
ReplyDeleteYes, save that test lady! I have my test from Hazy saved in my special stash box and a year later the lines are as bold as ever. I am just thrilled for you! I can't wait to follow along the whole 9 months with you!
ReplyDeleteOkay, just wrote a comment and it got lost in the logging in, so hope it doesn't turn into two awkwardly similar comments like some technologically-impaired duck, lol.
ReplyDeleteI'm not even a regular commenter (I'm not actually sure I've commented before) but I always followed your posts on Fertility Community (which I've just learned is back up, now, curiously) and then here at your blog, and I have to admit that I choked up a little when I read your previous post and this one. It doesn't feel right to say simply that I'm happy for you--it feels like oblivious chatter, even in my head, knowing how cautious you must be feeling right now--so I'll say that my heart leaps up for you. I will definitely be following eagerly and also, in my semi-atheistic way, praying for you.
Amazing news, Jane! There are no words for my excitement and joy for you! XO
ReplyDeleteI love everything about this post. This is such great news! And such a perfect description of the TWW after multiple failures. I forgot about what a cute book that is. I have added it to my Amazon list.
ReplyDeleteThis is amazing news. Congratulations! Love the site of that stick.
ReplyDeleteYaaaaaay!!!!
ReplyDeleteVery exciting. I'm so glad this two week wait ended positively for you.
ReplyDeleteI have never heard of that book but it sounds adorable! I waited to POAS until after I heard I was pregnant too so having that second line come up for the first time ever was amazing! And oh boy that is a great second beta number! So excited for you!
ReplyDeleteSo happy for you!
ReplyDeleteThat's a great book :)
ReplyDeleteCongrats! That second line is SUPER dark, what a beautiful thing. I'm so happy for you!
GAH!! Congratulations!!!!! That line is so dark!!
ReplyDeleteOMG! Congrats! I am so happy for you!
ReplyDelete