I know it's an awkward announcement and many people aren't quite sure how to respond. Most will offer some form of well wishes and recount a story of someone they knew who was infertile and somehow became pregnant. Seriously though, are congratulations really in order? As she was young, I figured maybe she just didn't understand and thought I was revealing that I was pregnant. Or perhaps she didn't fully comprehend the situation of infertility and just through that was an appropriate response. Amber at Old Lady and No Baby had a similar experience when she had some paperwork notarised before her FET and the agent offered her congratulations, not once, not twice, but three times for good measure.
Well I've decided that it is an appropriate response and congratulations are in order:
- For acknowledging your infertile status
- For having the courage to meet with a specialist or adoption agency
- For mastering skills such as giving yourself injections
- For being brave enough to face the uncertainty of fertility treatments or adoption process
- For holding it together during many baby showers, first birthday parties and a pregnancy announcement from a friend who 'wasn't even trying!'
- For enduring the well intended suggestions to 'go on a holiday and relax!' 'wear socks after sex and stand on your head!' only to eventually be told 'it will happen when you stop trying...'
- For all the times you dried the tears from your eyes and found a way to laugh or smile
- For discovering that you are much stronger than you ever thought you were
- For finding how much love is in your heart for your baby long before he or she arrives
Happy Mother's Day to my infertility sisters. Amazing women who are already mothers in their hearts and are merely waiting for their babies.