There are several different idioms that warn of the consequences when one decides to assume. However, sometimes there is a rational basis for making an assumption; and does anyone notice that if your assumption turns out to be correct, it gets retrospectively defined as a presumption? Our personal experiences often shape our perspectives and there are some underlying kernels of truth that allow sterotypes to survive. Nonetheless, it still is never wise to assume, as I was recently reminded.
When I had to leave in the middle of my swim meet for my baseline ovarian monitoring, I simply explained that I had an appointment. Perhaps my coach thought I was seeing one of my patients, but she didn't ask any further questions, and I didn't offer any information. Although, I thought about telling her about the real reason for my departure. In the time that we've gotten to know each other, I learned that she got married was she was 36 and she had her first and only daughter at age 40. Okay, I have to claim a little professional bias, but I suspected that she may have had fertility issues given her age at conception. I thought she may have been a kindred spirit. Guilty as charged for assuming.
Last night our swim team got together for a few beers at a local bar. One woman announced that her older sister was pregnant again. Wow, I remembered shortly after I started swimming, she learned what I did and asked me some questions about her sister's upcoming induction. It was only a few months before we started trying to conceive. I've now been swimming and attempting procreation during someone''s interconception period. "And you?" asked Phelps, who had three kids before reaching the age of 30. The soon to be an aunt replied, "I have a year left of my physical therapy training and then I need to get a job, but after that, I'll be open to the idea..."
"How old are you?" asked our coach, who is now in her mid 50s
"I'll be 35 in two months, so 36 when I graduate" she replied.
"Ohhh... plenty of time..." she reassured.
Hmmm. I thought to myself. No infertility or pregnancy loss survivor would advise a woman already classified as advanced maternal age as having 'plenty of time'. Although I do realise I am making another assumption, which is what would have led me into trouble if I confided in my coach, believing her to be an infertility survivor. However, how many of us personally know others that age or younger with diminished ovarian reserve? Her husband is a very nice computer programmer, who enjoys brewing his own beer and created his own couch to half marathon training program (day one, couch; day two, 13.1 miles). He can swim, but can the little boys?
"I can run numbers for you" I offered.