Wednesday 28 August 2013

Going Through the Motions

As it has become my routine, CD1 involves discreetly carrying a tampon and my phone into the bathroom, so I can call my RE's office for baseline monitoring. At least this past time AF had the courtesy to appear on a Friday, which meant I could go in on Saturday morning. "There's no one else scheduled tomorrow" the office manager informed me. "Can you come in today at 12:30?" So funny that with my other cycles, he's been meticulously insistent on a CD 2 scan, but I was happy that he would have a Saturday morning free to do whatever he would do on a Saturday morning that didn't involve going into the office. Yes, 12:30 could work for me, although it would mean delaying an in-box of patient calls. Fortunately, nothing looked too urgent and could wait for my return. I grabbed my keys and was about to leave when I received a call from the office manger "I hope you haven't left yet. There's another patient who needs to be seen tomorrow, so we can see you then if you'd like." This was the bright spot in an otherwise shitty day. I truly felt the advantage of the personal attention from a smaller office.

I arrived a few minutes early for my appointment and the front door was still locked. I could see Misery through the window. I silently groaned thinking she would be even less excited to see me knowing I was half of the reason why she had to work on a Saturday morning. "Good morning, Jane. How are you?" she pleasantly greeted me. Who was this woman and what had she done with Misery? Firstly, I don't think she's ever identified my name without checking my chart or the schedule first. Secondly, she actually smiled. I'm sure she must get paid overtime, so maybe she's happier when she's working on the weekend. Maybe she's starting to feel badly for me. I even got a sympathy pat on the outside of my thigh from my RE as he wished me a good weekend.

It just seemed like we were going through the motions. Ovaries quiet, go ahead and start Femara today. I mentioned to my RE that starting the Femara on day 3 yielded the best production from my ovaries thus far. He responded with a shoulder shrug and "you can start on day 3, it won't make much of a difference." Who knows if it was a coincidence, but I started on day 3 and had two ripe follicles on my left side by CD 11. Co-dominate follicles at 22 x 19 mm and 18.5 x 20 mm to introduce a new term as well. Lining: I don't remember. Insemination on day 13.  Husband's count was as per usual. 14 million pre-wash, motility 75% progression '4'. 4 million selected for the journey to my uterus.  At least he scores points for consistency.

It was a peaceful process. I had to do some last minute juggling with my patients to clear time in my schedule, but miraculously everyone showed up on time (a new patient even arrived early to register and complete her paperwork -a rare occurrence) and I was able to leave the office when I needed. I had a great set at swimming and the magic person in my iPhone came up with a great selection of music for my drive to and from the office. It's all seeming so routine, which is starting to really resonate that it's time to change the game plan. I texted Husband with his numbers. His reply: Crap :( Don't know if I can be bothered with IUI anymore. Alas, we're ready to move forward.

11 comments:

  1. ah yes. The first IVF felt so weird and unusual. The second IVF felt totally normal and usual. And that's when I really freaked out. How can something so strange feel so normal to me!?! That makes ma e freak!

    Glad it is going smoothly though - that is better than the alternative!!

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    1. It's wired when you feel that you can't even bat an eye at the experience! Yes, I was relieved and amazed how well it all came together -best to leave IUIs on a high note!

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  2. I remember the first time the receptionist at my RE's office knew me by name. I was crushed. Such an odd moment...but right then...I knew I'd transitioned to a "regular" and NEVER wanted to be there that long.

    I wish you guys the best as you know feel ready to move forward.

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    1. It's funny the ways we measure our duration of this process

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  3. What's weird is when you get a period on a month that you're NOT cycling, and it feels strange NOT calling the clinic. It's good that you're mentally ready to move forward, though. Being in the right place mentally is half the battle, it seems like.

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    1. Strangely I always knew we needed to go through the failures of trying on our own and IUIs to be 'at the right place' to do IVF. Either I was right, or I'm trying to convince myself that I am...

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  4. Well, this sounds like lots of good news! Hooray that Misery decided not to live up to her name for once! I'm glad you are feeling peaceful about things. Who know, perhaps this last IUI will decide to surprise you :) I know, I know, we're not going into the hopeful imaginings territory this time, but I just had to say it. Fingers crossed! And if this isn't the one, then I hope the next game plan will be it for you.

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  5. If the new behaviour continues, I may have to re-name Misery, but for now first impressions stick. Weirdly I'm appreciative for my profound disappointment with my last cycle as it's helped my frame of reference!

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  6. I remember having conversations with SH during our 2nd and 3rd IVF about how normal and routine it all felt at that point. So weird how that can seem normal. Now the idea of getting pregnant from sex seems foreign to me. I can't even wrap my head around it.

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  7. I am having the same experience... what used to take so much focus and attentio to execute correctly (and totally stressed me out!) has become routine and feels normal. As if having at least three or four Dr appointments, taking different drugs on specific days and getting injections every cycle is just normal, Ha!

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  8. I'm glad you are feeling ready to step into the IVF world, although I am sorry it has come to that. I really, really hope that it only takes one round for you and it won't become old routine as well! And wow, Misery, for actually being nice for a change!

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