Saturday, 27 April 2019

Kate 3.75

OMG, I just read my post when Kate was 3.25 and wow, have things changed. She is so MUCH better behaved now. I feel she is out of the ‘Threeranosauraus Rex’ stage but is still and ‘threenager’ Sometimes little things will set her off, like when he have lights on in the kitchen. It is a bit easier to get her out of her meltdowns and we’ve had fewer time-outs. 

Most of the time, she is a sweet little girl and I wish I could keep her at this age, where she has to give me a hug and kiss every time I leave the house and wants to snuggle with me at night. Then she wants me to help her wipe her butt and I’m ready to let her grow up a little.

Height: 41 inches 
Weight: 41.5 lbs

Likes: She still put her hand down my shirt and feels me up when she drinks her milk, although now she explains that she is ‘checking for tigers’ because for some reason, there might be some tigers under my shirt (it’s always tigers too, no other animals). Occasionally she find one and she’ll emerge with a closed fist and announce that she has to throw the tiger in the garbage, as apparently that is what one does with shirt tigers. 

Also likes announcing when she’s farted (even when it’s obvious). Especially in awkward places, such as a full elevator or the car.

Eating: Still has the worst table behavior ever. Won’t sit still, stalls and stalls. Refuses to eat any veggies. 

Potty Training: If there ever, ever was any thought of us having another kid, the thought of going through potty training again stops any thought dead in it’s tracks. I know what you’re thinking; Jane didn’t you start potty training two years ago? I KNOW. Kate grasped the concept quite easily and could make it to the potty most of the time, with the occasional accident (fortunately, no poop accidents. I do consider myself lucky in that regard). The trouble is that she often leaves it to the last minute and with wet her pants a little bit en route to the potty. The end result is the same as if she had a total accident. There is a little baggie of wet clothes tied to her lunch box when I pick her up. Then we came to President’s Day. As we both had the day off, I was probably too overzealous and booked us two playground play dates and she had two total accidents at each playground for a total of 4 soaking wet pants in one day. Both playgrounds have nice, accessible bathroom facilities, so there is no excuse. In fact one time, I could see her squirming and knew she needed to pee, but she refused to go. We abruptly left the play date after I saw a wet patch on her pants minute later and on the way home we had a conversation on how her apathy over her incontinence was unacceptable and I threatened that there would be no play dates until she started staying dry. I decided that it was time to introduce some consequences. 

The no play dates rule was tough as we had already RSVP’d to some birthday parties and well as a post race brunch where I had volunteered to help. I also have to confess that the play dates are also important for me as well in order to build social contacts with other moms. So far we managed to stay dry through three events just by threatening to leave if she wets her pants. We also took away watching her two shows in the evening if she wets during the day, which initially was harder for us, as I was reliant on the TV to keep her occupied while I made dinner or put the garbage and recycling bins out. I figured it would either get her to stay dry or wean her off TV and it’s done more of the latter than the former. While she likes watching her shows, she’s also equally content to play on her own, so I think I have to find something else to withhold. 

And then there is the issue of night time training… After we seemed to be on the right track in October, she had a complete regression in early November to the point of wetting three to four times per night. I was doing laundry daily and was exhausted. We took what was supposed to be a two week break with plans to get back at it during the long Thanksgiving break, but I soon discovered how wonderful it is to have uninterrupted sleep, and decided to delay until after my the Christmas holidays. Then after the trip to England/Ireland. Then after we visit my parents for Spring break. Now there’s no more excuses. I purchased Jamie Glow.acki’s night time training supplement for $17 and feel that I received more value of her experience when I was waiting in the ER and read her entitle blog from first post to last. Of course at thing time, we had just started training, things were going well and as Kate was not yet 2 she was considered to be ahead of the curve and now that’s she’s nearly 4, I’m feeling a bit shamed. She described that bladder capability varies wides, some 16 months old can old their pee all night long while three year olds can struggle. She loudly encourages her reader not to compare their child to anyone else’s. She goes on to describe that if you child is under 3, you have some wiggle room, but if by 36 months they are not showing any signs of being about to hold it at night and the diapers are still soaked, you need to get on night training ASAP, because as the bladder walls thicken it can head to a higher chance of bedwetting down the road. So if I’m not already feeling like a fraud and a failure, I basically read this as I fucked up for taking such a long break. 

I was hoping her supplement could come up with some new suggestions or strategy to try, it was not helpful at all.  So we’ll be back trying the same things. Limit fluids before bed. Insist on going potty before bed. Waking up for the dream pees every two hours. We tried a few times before we left for South Carolina and she only wet once, which I’m considering is not bad for a start. I feel as if every time I buy a box of pull-ups from Costco, I say this is going to be the last one. I just bought a box and not only do I hope it is the last one, I hope I am going to be able to give away unused pull-ups! 

Sleep: While we were in England and she was dealing with jet lag , we found that if we let her sleep a bit later, we could get her through the day and put her to bed at her usual time. Yet, as she adjusted to the time difference, we found that she still gets really grizzly during the middle of the day and needs her nap. As we’ve gone back to giving her a bath at night, I’ve noticed that we’ve been stretching our her bedtime at night. I admit it’s mostly my fault as I find I can get a lot of things done while she is in the tub. I’ve tried to be more rigid, but I find that we’re usually wrapping up stories after 9 PM, which I know is too late. One of Jamie Glow.acki’s other tips for nighttime dryness is to make sure kids get regular and consistent sleeping intervals and she notes that toddlers should be in bed by 7 and no kid under six should go to bed before 8, unless there are special circumstances. Um, I pick Kate up from school at 5:50 and we’re home between 6:15-6:30 depending on the traffic, so sure we can cram in dinner, bath, stories and bed in thirty minutes. 

I was speaking with another Mom at Kate’s school and her comment about those bed times is that they are not realistic in the Bay Area, which was really reassuring to hear. She also noted that her son (who just turned 4 last month) doesn’t nap at home, but the school requires him to nap, which means he doesn’t fall asleep until nearly 10:30. It did give me pause to question that she might go to bed earlier when she stops her naps, and there may be a silver lining to losing her nap time. 

Life Skills: I had been trying to curb the Gimmies to prepping her that we would not be buying any things from Tar.get or informing her that she could only get on treat at the Farmer’s Market, but after she was watching a recent episode of UmiZoomi! I decided to take a different approach. We started having her do some chores around the house and she can earn UmiDollars (felt money that I picked up at Tar.get). Then when we go out, we discuss how she wants to spend her money. Does she want to get a balloon animal at the Farmer’s Market or wait to get something at Tar.get? (I tried to emphasize that the balloon will only last so long, while something at Tar.get will last longer, until she bought a small recorder which quickly became ‘lost’) We’ve also been discussing if she wants to spend her money on little things, or save it up for something big. Overall, it’s been going well, except she can’t figure out the concept that a single note can have a higher value. While she accepts that 5 plus 1 is 6, she can’t accept that a 5 dollar bill is the same as 5 singles. Hence, I have to carry a big stack of single UmiDollars in my purse. 

Yet, speaking of giving into the Gimmies. I recently wrote how Kate wanted a make-up case from Tar.get and I relented and it ended entertaining her all afternoon as she pretended it was a suitcase and she packed it to take an overnight trip from her bedroom to the kitchen. When we were getting ready to visit my parents and we got our suitcases down from the attic, she found her ‘suitcase’ and put it right next to ours. I was just going to slip it back into her closet, but as we were loading the car, I discovered that she actually packed a pair of pajamas, her toothbrush and a toy. We decided to bring it as her carry-on.

She has also started picking our her own clothes and dressing herself in the morning.

Manners: I noticed that while Husband and I often have to prompt her to say please and thank-you, she displays her best etiquette around others. She had dinner with my aunt and uncle while Husband was away and I had a work meeting and they commented on her manners. She scored a free kids snack pack on the plane as the steward was impressed with how polite she was. She even says “Excuse me Tyler” if she crosses the cat while running to the potty. 

Health Issues: Back in February, we hired a baby sitter and went out to a show with another couple on a Sunday night. When we returned, the baby sitter reported that Kate went to bed no problem. Really? I asked. She didn’t push for more stores or any of her usual stall tactics or other semantics to stay up later? I placed the thermoscan thermometer on her forehead and it immediately lit up red. On the second day with a fever, I took her the doctors and received the diagnosis of influenza B. Cue guilt for not taking her in to get a flu shot. The odd thing was, is that she was almost immediately better after we left the appointment. It was as if the nasal swab removed the virus. We kept her home one more day as it seemed prudent to do after receiving a diagnosis for the flu, but she was afebrile and back to normal and absolutely bouncing off the walls. Our pediatrician later told me that this year’s flu shot was ineffective against influenza B. Absolve guilt over not getting the flu shot.

She is still having a tough time with eczema, which I was kind of hoping she would grow out of it at this point in time. Eczema is like playing Whack-a-mole at a carnival. You get one patch under control and another one pop us. I’m going to try to switch her over to almond milk to see if that makes a difference. Especially as she won’t let me put any ointment on and I keep forgetting to sneak into her room and apply it while she’s sleeping. 

Activities: We have her enrolled in Spanish classes and soccer through her school. I was doubtful if she was getting anything out of the Spanish classes, but I received a note from her teacher that said she actually is doing well and loves to practice her Spanish during the day. I guess it’s like manners, she just doesn’t want to practice with me. We’ve been much more consistent about going to gymnastics on Saturdays. I was starting to feel bummed about the fact that she’ll be moving on to the four year old class soon and leaving our favorite instructor, but we just learned that he’s leaving the gym at the same time. She’s also doing well with her swimming lessons and is on track to move on to the next level soon. It’s the one thing that I really miss about her old pre-school is that she was able to take swim lessons twice a week (and I didn’t have to budget any extra time).  I feel she’d be ahead with her swimming if she was still on the twice weekly schedule. 

Looking forward to: I had been looking forward to going to Myrtle Beach to visit my parents and we’re four days in and the trip has lived up to the hype! Although we just had a major vacation three months ago, I was ready for a break from our usual routine and I love seeing my parents with Kate. I feel that she is fulfilling and possible exceeding every thing they wished for in their desire to be grandparents. We’ve had a great time meeting their friends and enjoying the amenities of their retirement community (we even played BINGO!) We’ve been to the beach and many playgrounds. Husband and I even found a CrossFit box where we could drop-in. He initially wasn’t too keen on this trip and vowed it would be his only visit, but after a few days, he admitted that the area was growing on him and he even started talking about staying longer when we come back next year! 

I’m also looking forward to two girls weekend trips. In June, Co-worker and I are going to a medical education event, that happens to be hosted at a Spa in Monterey. In July, Myrtle and I are meeting up with a mutual friend who lives in Chicago, as we figured it was easiest to meet up in the middle of the country. 

I’ve got to get my act together with Kate’s Forhth Birthday party. I’m really slacking as for the past three years, I had my theme decided, items picked out and the venue booked. I decided to do another picnic in a park, but selected a park that is in the same city as her school as we’ll be invited more friends from her new school. Kate’s request for a theme changes from week to week. Sometimes it’s Unicorns, then Paw Patrol, maybe PJ Masks and most recently Hello Kitty. Maybe there is a benefit to my procrastination. 

6 comments:

  1. There is a valve between bladder and urethra. It can be harder for some kids to control it. When her whole body relaxes in sleep it may be letting go while she is asleep. She has to be awake to deliberately hold her pee inside bladder when the valve convulsively opens. Most kids by her age have developed enough bladder size to go 'overnight' without peeing but NOT ALL. Ask your PEDIATRICIAN about this issue. Don't pressure yourself or your daughter unless you KNOW she is consciously deliberately doing sometime you know her body is ready to do. You would never encourage her to start puberty early because you know she has to be ready to do that. This MAY be the same. Sorry about Coals to Newccastle but reduce your stress. Avoid guilt when possible.

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  2. I feel like I'd rather deal with pee accidents than our current afraid to poop on the potty thing we have doing..ugh!! But I was wondering when I should introduce consequences. I mean I feel bad that for some reason it scares him I guess. But there are times he will go on the potty.

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  3. I'm so jealous of all those vacations! I love her little makeup case being used as a carry on. ;) I'll have to go catch up on that post. I love that she's taking Spanish classes!

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  4. My first didn't potty train until 3.5 years old. I never pushed it on her and just always had a potty available. When she was ready she only had one accident. My second, I took a laid back approach too. She trainer herself just before turning three. My 5 year old still heavily soaked her nighttime diaper. But, we decided our sleep was more valuable than attempting nighttime training. We also have a two year old. Same deal, she has been using the potty off and on for a year but I happily put her in diapers. This season of life will roll through and diapers aren't forever. I'm genuinely sorry potty training is a source of frustration for you and your daughter but understand there's no one size fits all for parenting. Hopefully your goals will match up with your girls motivation in near time.

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  5. Love these updates and so glad I'm getting time to catch up! Rylee still occasionally has similar small accidents, waiting too long before going in to go potty. Ayden FINALLY went about 2 months straight without a night time accident and not needing to be taken in for a dream pee, but then he peed the bed two nights ago. Sooo, we'll see if that was just a one time accident, or if we'll have a full on regression. Sounds like you've had some great vacations! Love that you have a couple girl trips coming up too.

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