Tuesday, 14 May 2013

Where the Magic Happens

I know it's not the typical location for a fashion show, but one of the things that I most enjoy about running races, is watching what others are wearing. I've done races around Halloween, where costumes are encouraged. I did an 80's themed run, that literally took you on a jog down memory lane. I like looking at shirts from past events, area running clubs and various charities. Some people write their own messages with various memorials or fun slogans like "will run for wine!" (Napa Half Marathon) I saw a guy who must have been in his late 60s or 70s (knee braces on both knees) who used the old iron-on letters to spell out, "C'mon! Is that all you got?" on the back of his shirt. It's all in the spirit of having as much fun as possible whilst running 6 or 13 miles with a group of people who are as crazy as you are to run 6 or 13 miles or more. At a recent race that traversed the Golden Gate Bridge, one guy established a new purpose with the handwritten message on his shirt;

Decent Job
Come say Hi!

As I ran past him, he seemed to be fit and fairly attractive. I admired his courage to put himself out there with such a public display and I hoped it paid off for him and led him to score some digits, or email addresses, Facebook friends, Twitter followers...whatever the kids are doing these days. This man's bold steps to try to land a date reminded me of how necessary it is to take some risks in life in order to reap any potential rewards.

This is my 100th post on this blog. I must admit, a year ago I probably didn't think I'd still be barren at this time, and I never would have anticipated that I would become an infertile blogger. Probably because I didn't really know what a blog actually was. Months after we learned of Husband's semen analysis, received our prognosis from my RE and crept closer to Myrtle's due date, I found that I had so many conflicting feelings running around my head and I needed to find some kind of outlet. It started out with a letter to Myrtle. It was a letter that I knew I would never actually send to her, but it enabled me to release all my feelings of jealousy and frustration. Mostly, the letter detailed how aloof she was, both ignorant to the actual mechanics of conception and oblivious to the feelings of one who is infertile. The letter remained as a file on my desktop. I would read it to myself, make some edits now and then and close it. I decided that I wanted to share it with others who would understand the experience from my point of view. I joined an online forum, just so I could post my letter. I was welcomed into the online infertility community, as like the Cheers theme song, everyone knows your (profile) name and troubles are all the same.

A few weeks later, Amanda at Growing Griswolds and now Our Griswold  posted on the forum that she was looking for a guest blogger. This was my opportunity to check out the blogging world. I sent her my letter and explored her and other blogs. It was like having your own focus group within the online community! Six weeks later, I decided to take the plunge and lost my blogging virginity. I describing blogging as having an interactive on-line journal, where rather than a written diary, you can include pictures, music, web links and video clips to tell your story.

What I have ultimately learned from this experience, is that when you expose your Achilles heel and reveal your deepest vulnerabilities, you have the potential to become your strongest. I am so thankful for the intimate connection I have with fellow bloggers. I feel that many of us probably would be friends in real life and I enjoy learning about your lives beyond infertility and I am often amazed at how many things we have in common besides infertility. IF is just the vector that brought us together from many different locations.

I feel my point was best illustrated on an episode of HBO's Girls. The aspiring writer, Hannah, is meeting with the editor of an on-line pop culture magazine. As Hannah resists some initial suggestions for her piece, the editor asks if she saw the sign on the wall.

"Umm-hmm" she nods
"You get it, right?" The editor asks, clearly unsure of Hannah's comprehension
"Yeah, I get it. Of course it get it." Hannah defensively lies in order to appease her boss

The editor draws it out for her. "This is your comfort zone" she represents with her first. "This" she waves her other hand in the air "is where the magic happens..."

"So, like the magic happens outside your comfort zone?" Hannah asks, as the penny finally drops.

Yes, it does.


  1. I'm a newbie on the blog block but agree with your assessment...it's been really great so far (all 3 weeks). :o)

    And I love Girls so how could I possibly disagree. My HB put me in a panic last night saying that Girls has lost some of it's sitcom momentum and might not make it after season 3 (gasp).

  2. I am so glad you decided to join this community. I always look forward to reading your posts because I know they are going to be well written and thoughtful.

    You are completely right about the comfort zone. Once I started pushing my boundaries and reaping the rewards, it became like a drug for me! Now I could never go back to being a scardy cat.

    Happy 100th!

  3. Haha, I remember that episode of Girls -- that editor is hilarious. And love how she ends up doing cocaine and sleeping with someone she doesn't know or whatever because this is essentially the only way she can get paid to write. Sigh.... sad but true.

    1. I loved her honesty "it's only on the Internet...but you don't seem that fancy..."
      I think it captures the experience we think we need to have...

  4. I could stand to step outside my comfort zone a little (or a lot) more. I tend to stay very firmly in that zone. I have never regretted the times I have taken chances but somehow that hasn't translated into me taking more chances.
    happy 100 posts and so glad you decided to start blogging.

  5. Happy 100th!!! So glad that you took this plunge! You are a blogging asset!

  6. Well, I for one am mighty glad you're here and am happy to have gotten to know you! Congrats on the 100th post!

  7. awesome! i am so glad that you started blogging. you are one of the most self-aware, insightful, intelligent bloggers that I read! thanks for sharing all 100 posts and reading my blog as well!

  8. I'm glad you're here too!

    Out of curiosity, can you recommend any good forums? (Or is it fora?) The only interface I've been on is at fertilitycommunity.com; it seems really clunky to me and cluttered with tons of emoticons...although I would totally overlook it if I knew there were good people on there!

  9. Me three. Glad you took the plunge and I hope that when your 200th post comes around, we will all have a lot to celebrate!

  10. I love Girls! Great reference and so true. I am very glad we "met" on here and your posts have been an amazing resource of support.

  11. Happy 100th post, plus a few more probably since I'm so far behind! I am so glad you joined the blogging world. Your posts are always entertaining with the stories you share, and very well written. The support we get from each other in the blogosphere is amazing, and I am so grateful for our friendship, even if it's not in real life. I agree, I feel that I could be friends with so many of the people I've met here.