Monday 8 December 2014

To Boldly Go Where No Embryo Has Gone Before...

8 weeks and 4 days. Well, technically, I was 8 weeks and 6 days by the time I had my D&C for my ill-fated second pregnancy. Ah, what a difference a year, two failed FETs, a second stim cycle, CCS testing, yet another failed transfer, Lupron, Labetalol, Laminaria, reduced estrogen and baby aspirin can make! My RE returned from his trip and I had my second scan on his first day back in the office. "Things could not look any better!" he proclaimed, as he tapped my leg not once, not twice, but three times during the ultrasound. He invited Husband to stand by his side as he scanned and he gave him a detailed tour on the ultrasound monitor, while I watched from the screen mounted on the ceiling. As Husband often felt left out during my visits, I think he really appreciated that Dr STIUTK gave him his own explanation.

Something else marked my venture into unchartered territory. Around six-ish weeks, I had brought leftover chicken curry for lunch, but the thought of it was making me queasy. I skipped lunch and not surprisingly, I was starving later that night. Yet, there wasn't anything that I wanted to eat. A persistent wave of nausea has invaded my life. I also have a weird metallic taste in my mouth. Although it has been to no avail, I've been brushing my teeth multiple times per day.  At least it may improve my next dental cleaning.

A few years ago, I participated in a panel discussion on nausea and vomiting in pregnancy. The facilitators presented a survey comparing clinicians' and patients' perception on this prevalent symptom. As anticipated, the clinicians rated their highest concerns over patients who were actually vomiting, as they could be suffering from dehydration, weight loss, electrolyte imbalances and ketonuria. Interestingly, patients expressed more distress over their nausea. Many reported that they actually felt better after throwing up. I have to confess that I've considered attempting a tactical chunder on a few occasions. Additionally, patients described that they experienced a loss of pleasure and enjoyment with eating during this time. A few participants on the panel described that certain aversions encountered during their pregnancies became permanent. A man commented that both of his kids are in college and his wife has never been able to return to Bos.ton Market. Another woman with grandchildren revealed that she still can't eat hot and sour soup.

I've discovered this is not necessarily a bad thing. I'm ashamed to admit that I had a bad Co.ke Zero habit and I fretted over how I would be able to give it up when/if I ever became pregnant. Not a problem when you have absolutely no desire for it. I began to look at my symptomatic state as a way of doing my own 30 day reset. Unfortunately, I also don't have much on an appetite even for healthy foods. I have been able to reclaim some pleasure in eating by recalling some long lost favourites. In what can be considered my first craving, I braved the madness of shopping at Safe.way on the night before Thanksgiving to pick up a bag of frozen Tater Tots. I think the last time I ate them was when I was 10. Oh yeah, they are still so good!  I've also had to bring bread back into my life as toast has become the one and only thing I want to eat. I'll have a few pieces with a cup of Safe.way Organic Tomato Soup. It's become my go-to meal.

I hope I don't come across as complaining, as I'm very thankful to be in this state, and in a strange way, I appreciate my nausea. I know it's not necessarily reassuring, but it helps me remember that I am actually pregnant. Maybe, it might actually be for real.

16 comments:

  1. I've always imagined that I will be plagued with nausea. My mom had it to the point she was hospitalized for fluids with both me and my brother... not sure if there's any genetic connection, but if there is, it's there. Plus, the one and only time I had hCH numbers high enough to get a positive HPT, I was miserable. I was nauseous for days and then I wasn't it... and then it ended. So while I don't particularly look forward to that feeling again, it is I guess in some way, comforting to know that feeling like complete crap will signal pregnancy once again.

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  2. I spent my first trimester eating nothing but childhood comfort foods. I had a huge aversion to meat and vegetables so I had to give up my grand plan of eating super healthy during pregnancy. I had to eat whatever I could choke down. Some foods do bring back vivid memories of those months of nausea but I'm not sure there is anything I wouldn't ever eat again, they just don't sound particularly appealing. I agree that I sometimes wished I would just vomit because it seemed like that would make me feel better. Sorry you're dealing with this particular symptom. Hope it won't be too bad for you. It is strangely reassuring, though. A constant reminder that you are, in fact, pregnant.

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  3. I had no symptoms the first trimester and I was always worried because I've read that patients with nausea have a lower risk of miscarriage! (I have no idea where I read it.)

    Also, I know you are a scientist and all so you probably don't put as much stock into old wives tales as someone who calls herself a Gypsy, but since you are craving savoury, I'm going to guess it's a boy!!

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  4. Love this post, because it means everything is going well for you. In my mind being nauseous IS worse than actually being sick. I am so miserable when I feel ill, but not vomiting, it is hard to function. So happy to be able to read pregnancy posts from you, I can only imagine how you feel!

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  5. So happy that things are going great for you!

    My first tri was all about carbs- bagels, toast, sandwiches, etc. it is all I craved. Thankfully I didn't have any nausea and after the first tri was over I was able to eat healthy again!

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  6. So glad your second scan went well!! I know what you mean about not wanting to complain about symptoms because we work so hard to get where we are. It is reassuring to feel those symptoms, but I also now believe that it's also ok to not enjoy them.

    Hoping the nausea wears off soon and you can get back to eating and enjoying.

    Congrats again, Jane! So happy for you that things are going well.

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  7. I love that you are feeling like crap! And I mean that in the best possible way. :) I didn't really have any specific cravings or aversions in my first trimester, although I did find myself eating a lot more junk because when I got hungry, I needed food THAT SECOND and if I was out somewhere, that meant grabbing a donut or some chicken nuggets rather than salad or fruit. I'm back to (relatively) normal now.

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  8. yay!!! So happy things are looking good!! <3 <3 <3

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  9. So happy to read about your 2nd scan and your nausea! I love that your hubby felt more involved and that he got treated to his own tour of your baby. I know I found it somewhat comforting when I had waves of nausea, just to know that at least something was going on! It wasn't fun by any means, but it was at least a little comforting. I look forward to your next update! I'm so excited for you to tell your parents, and Myrtle!

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  10. Ugh yes. The nausea was waaay worse than the vomiting. I only threw up a few times, but I felt infinitely better than the rest of the 16+ weeks that I felt constantly nauseated. Pizza rolls were pretty much my staple craving--are those even real food? So much for eating healthy the first trimester (and a large part of the second - oops). So glad to hear this update! Thinking of you, Jane!

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  11. So glad that things are progressing so well! Yeah for this bold little embryo! Hope that you are feeling better soon.

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  12. Congratulations on your nausea haha. Said ironically. I wouldn't recommend making yourself throw up. You might be one of the lucky ones who feels better afterward; on the other hand, you might me like me and after one puke you continue for hours. Not. Fun. It is the most disgusting pregnancy symptom, but as you note there can be some advantages if you look for them, like not wanting unhealthy foods. For us it was saving money on restaurants because I couldn't stand the idea of eating out or any kind of "imaginative" food.

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  13. Congratulations! Here's to the baby growing :)

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  14. Yay! I hope the nausea is a good sign that this pregnancy is strong and will be your take-home baby. So happy for you, Jane.

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  15. I had to laugh at this title. Indeed, you are taking that little babe where no other embryo has made it before. I can't wait to read your posts in the 2nd tri when the nausea is gone and you are REALLY believing it's for real then! woo hoo!

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  16. I agree with Emily. GREAT title! Just so happy that your little one continues to grow. So hopeful for you and I can't wait till you've gotten past this trimester so that you can finally start to feel the realness (other than the nausea) and can really start feeling the JOY of being pregnant!! xoxo

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