Thursday 23 June 2016

I'm not Martha Stewart

What is a smash cake?" I asked a fellow blogger, feeling a little embarassed that I didn't know "Haha" she replied "It's a tiny individual cake that the baby gets to just smash into.  Bigger than a cupcake and usually decorated kind of elaborately." "It became a thing when cake companies realized new parents will pay for anything." she added. Well that was enough to trigger my inner skeptic, and start the idea that I would make my own cake for Kate's first birthday. Afterall, my mother made my first birthday cake from scratch.

Pausing for a moment. As I have been trying to replicate some of the things my parents did for me as a baby, I've also been coming to terms with the fact that I may have a romanticised view of my childhood. On cloth diapering, I thought my parents were so environmentally conscious. [My mother's response] Oh, we really didn't care too much about the environment, Cloth diapers were just much cheaper than dispoable diapers. On breastfeeding, we were living in an expersive city on one salary, we couldn't afford formula. On my first birthday cake, yeah, I made the cake from scratch because money was tight. Also we didn't really have a party for you. We let you play with the cake and that was it. 

"Plus, I wasn't working at the time" My mother reminded me as I told her about my idea to do Kate's cake. Well that was just challenge accepted! I'm a pretty competent baker, and if I were to do a regular cake, I probably could have managed that. However, I wanted to do cupcakes rather than a cake. Firstly, her nickname. They would be CupKates. Secondly, I prefer to serve cupcakes as you don't have to deal with the cutting process and people seem to be more willing to eat cupcakes, where they would turn down a regular piece of cake.Then I decided I wanted her birthday to have a Very Hungry Catapillar theme. I thought I was the first person ever to have this idea for about five minutes, until my mother googled "Hungry Caterpillar Birthday" and we discovered that nearly everyone does a TVHC birthday theme. I'm not sure why, but I began to feel more confident that I could pull this off, as I imagined it would 'merely' involve getting some cake mix, frosting and food colouring. I was already anticipating how great they were going to turn out and while I was fantasizing, of course there would be a little praise coming my way. Yes, guests would note how awesome I am; a working mom who makes kick ass cupcakes! [flips hair over shoulder]

Fortunately, I had the sense to do a dry run. I decided to have a go while my mother was visiting. As she wouldn't be there for Kate's one year mark, she could feel involved with the party. We worked together to mix the colours for the frosting. I had purchased some jelly beans for his eyes, a chocholate chip nose and some Hershey kisses for his feet. As we assembled the hungry caterpillar with our cupcakes, it wasn't coming anywhere near the image that I had in my mind.


"What do you honestly think?" I asked my mother. "Well" she paused. "They look like they were made with a lot of love.' [Translation] They look like crap. As my Dad worked in food service for many years, I asked if he thought they looked totally amatuer. He gave a play-it-safe response, "You don't seemed to be satisfied with the finished product." Why are you asking for my professional opinion when you already know the answer? I waited until Husband weighed in with this thoughts. I know I could rely on him for a completely unfiltered assessment. "Would you be embarrassed if we served these at Kate's first birthday party?" I asked. He replied that he really wouldn't care, his critique of my creation is that it just really didn't represent the Very Hungry Caterpillar. "It looks more like the anorexic caterpillar." he quipped.

Oh, how I wish he had just said, "Jane, these look like shit. You're not a baker, so don't try to pretend to be one. Suck it up and go to the bakery like a normal person." I would have saved so much time and energy, not to mention money. I purchased a mini-loaf pan, as well as some decorating tools, brushing off the irony that in my effort to avoid the scam of the smash cake, I would probably be paying about the same, if not, maybe even more. We went for take two. 



So, as you can see, Husband was right. The mini-loafs really were the right way to go, as I was able to do a better job capturing the shape of The Very Hungry Caterpillar. However, the frosting still wasn't working. I really would need to learn how to use the wedding cake style frosting that I saw in Michaels craft store, but fortunately had the sense not to buy. Suddenly, it also occured to me that I would need to spend the day before the party doing cleaning, last minutes chores and a lot of other food prep, so... what the fuck was I thinking? I didn't even bother attempting to finish, it was time to wave a white flag of plain vanilla icing on the remaining cakes. I was ready to admit defeat and started googling local bakeries. 

I could hear Kate start to stir, as I was sulking, cleaning up and eating the fruits of my labour (they were delicious by the way). It served as an important reminder. This is for Kate's birthday party. She needs to be the centre of attention. Not her cake and not her mother. 

14 comments:

  1. Umm I think that you did a great job with the first batch! I didn't even bother with cupcakes as I thought a cake would be easier. We made one cake and I poorly decorated it but frankly didn't care, because you are right- it is all about your kid not about the decorations or the cake. My mom and I made another cake for Izzy's 2nd birthday party- trying to make a bunny but it looked even worse than the 1st birthday one. And you know what? Izzy could have given two sh*ts because she was excited that it looked like a bunny and that she got to eat cake. Maybe her attitude will change in a few years, but for now I am going to continue to save money making her cake because I can.

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  2. They look better in the photo! I brought them into my office and no one touched them and our staff usually eats everything thing! Funny how we have such different perceptions on cupcakes vs cakes as being easier!

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  3. I just snort-laughed at the anorexic caterpillar comment. Kudos to you for being so brave. I too decided to make Garrison's first birthday cake. It might have turned out moderately well except that was the week we all came down with the plague, including my mother who is the cake maker in the family. I was too afraid to let her touch anything to help less she pass on the plague as she was only 48 hours out. I too walked away thinking that the time and energy spent would have been better served with a professional. : )

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    1. It was one of those times when I handed my credit card to the baker and just signed without looking. I didn't want to know what I way paying, mostly because I probably already spent about that much trying to "save money" by doing it myself!

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  4. Glad I am reading this now! Taking notes: buy the cake! haha I think you did a great job though!

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    1. I recently discovered that our ultrasound tech worked as a wedding cake baker before she decided she wanted to work in health care. She still does cakes for friends and family and I asked if she make her daughter's cake for her first birthday, which was a few months ago. She replied that she did, but wished she hadn't. It was very time consuming when she had other chores to do and it wasn't as much fun to watch her smash all her hours of work! I felt better about my decision knowing that a pro would have turfed to someone else!

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  5. OK so I wish I could paste an image in this comment. I googled hungry caterpillar cakes and yours is far from the worst. At the risk of being accused of cake-shaming, take a look at this one and tell me you don't feel better: http://www.alannageorge.com/2012/02/28/how-to-very-hungry-caterpillar-cake/

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  6. Hahahaha I think your cakes and the idea is awesome. Lucky Kate gets all that extra cake! But by all means use a bakery if it's less stress. AJ's cake was collaborative: I found the recipe, Mr Turtle baked it and I decorated it with the help of a friend who arrived early. It was yummy!

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  7. I am sorry this is so frustrating! Love the term "wank test". My DH prefers IUI over TI just so the fact that errors are limited.

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  8. I'm kind of torn between wanting to snort laugh over this post and wanting to be encouraging. I mean, good job on those shades of green! :) I love the theme though for her birthday party!

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  9. We just celebrated my little guys second birthday this past weekend. I kept it a very low-key backyard BBQ kind of deal because last year, for his birthday I went MAD! I was trying to throw a perfect Pinterest first birthday party and it was so exhausting and stressful I nearly had a panic attack and arrived to the party LATE, then had to run home for his special outfit. The poor kid was sick and only wanted me to hold him the entire time, refused to eat the fancy food I took HOURS and HOURS to make. He did eat his smash cake - the week after his party because he was decidedly disinterested in his party altogether. For what it's worth, I thought the first caterpillar looked pretty cool! I hope you have a lovely party regardless of who makes the cake/cupcakes. :)

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  10. Thanks for the post, hope so that this will help in looking beautiful for longer time.

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  11. I love this! At least you had a theme. I made pretty average looking cupcakes, but I think yours look awesome! Either way, Kate will have an amazing first birthday because she has such great parents!

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  12. I think your anorexic caterpillar looks great! I was just trying to remember what kind of cake I made for SB's first birthday - I was adamant I make it, and not MIL, who insisted on visiting - and I have no idea... but certainly it was less fancy. It tasted good though, and SB was first happy, then overwhelmed by all the presents... have a great party!

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