Wednesday 12 December 2012

Bonds of Disappointment

From the first time I heard Adele’s song for ‘Skyfall’, I couldn’t wait for the premier of the latest Bond movie. Husband ordered our tickets days in advance. I looked at the calendar and noted that I could be ovulating that weekend. I thought back to where we were a year ago, needing to use Plan B after a Bond film got us into trouble. Maybe Daniel Craig could get redemption! My monitor went from low to medium on day 11, and then on day 12 (the night of the film’s premiere in the states) I got my peak fertility reading. My ovaries were actually cooperating with the plan to conceive on the night of Bond!

However, it was a typical Friday. Busy day at work, I left the office late and didn’t have a chance to grab anything to eat before the movie. Husband and I found the movie to be disappointing. Of course it’s hard to top Casino Royale, but it was such a weak story and I thought they were trying to re-create the too much of the 'old Bond’ which doesn’t fit with Daniel Craig. We ended up getting a drink and some food at the late night happy hour in a bar by the cinema. I saw the window for sex closing quickly. I was initially planning not to tell Husband that it was a high fertility day, but now I know he’ll figure it out when I’m trying to seduce him at 12:30 AM. I gave him the news and saw him suppressing a sigh. We were both exhausted from a long day and still recounting our disappointment in the movie. Husband made a valiant effort. The rocket ship was on the launch pad, but wouldn’t blast off. “Fuck it,” he said “I think doing IUI or IVF is going to be much easier”.

In Shelly Snowdon’s e-book “The Fertility Diaries” she describes her experience of looking for ovulation predictor kits in Spain only to be told no stores sold them as the Pharmacist explained “In my day, you didn’t need such things, you just made love and got pregnant” It seems like such a simple concept, but is it really? When you have a narrow window each month, how do you make things do your way, like being in the same state, not being exhausted and maybe actually being in the mood and enjoying the process? It almost seems like a romance novel concept, the stars align on your O night and you two make beautiful love that magically results in a baby. It provides us with some comfort to know that it probably would be difficult to conceive even without the male factor issues, we’re two active people who live in the real world and not a Danielle Steele Book. Maybe if we started this process years ago the blind pig would eventually find the acorn, that one of the limited bullets would hit the moving target. For now, fertility drugs, porn, a masterbation room, transvaginal ultrasounds and a third person in the room are starting to seem much more practical..

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